So this is what "normal" people think of us?

[no1]

yea you know a lot of people think that people with SA are just selfish, spoiled, ungrateful, etc. or stupid.

 

[Felicidad]

"Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people." - Andre Dubus

Important in the way that they can critizise, reject, scoff and make a fool out of the SA person. Since the person with SA {and APD} is so fed up with how he/she performs and looks and constantly worries that he/she isn't good enough to not receive critics, the narcissism has been brought up. I think Mr. Dubus went a little too far, since it's not about "being the best", it's about "being normal".

Advocan , I couldn´t say better. Low-self-steem is what guide people with SA, Adpd to look for others admited them. I remember when I said to my first phycholost: "I only want to be a NORMAL person".
Anyway, what does a NORMAL person means?

 

[Neph]

one cannot clearly define normal since it is based on the perspective of the individual and on the status quo of society

what is normal to some may not be normal others

 

[Felicidad]

one cannot clearly define normal since it is based on the perspective of the individual and on the status quo of society

what is normal to some may not be normal others

That´s why, I put a question mark a the end of the clause. Everybody is different. (faults and abilities) No-one is perfect.
I have learnt that a bit of ego is good for us.
Then, a person with trails of perfectionism may be viewed as a selfish person, because (s)he has a tendency to focuss on one task in order to do it perfect (an impossible aim) in order to avoid criticts. Up to I know, It maybe due to a low self-steem; but I´m not sure. Perhaps, my trail of Perfectionism has to do with some kind of narcissism. I really don´t know it.

 

[Felicidad]

Yeah but I think that is different than just completely lacking empathy, like narcissists do.

Sometimes, I focussed on myself, because I have not strenght to focuss on anyone. I sometimes need to be a little appart from the outside to get this strenght that makes you face world with another perspective. I mean, analized what´s bad with me.

 

[Untamed88]

"The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous." - Jerome K. Jerome

This part pisses me off. If I'm a dampner on the room of 'normal' people I should just stop trying. It kind of confirms what I have always feared.