So nervous, help me!

[Falkor]

Hi everyone,

Today it is Sunday. 'Celebrated' 2 weeks of holiday.
Tomorrow I'll be having a BIG DAY. School Starts. Eek.
I love school. It's the amazing thing that has happened to me.
I can finally study again at school. and not read books all day
and make up my own assignments each day. ::

The problem is....

Is that I'm addicted to school.
I work so hard, and they call it ''Overkill''. I write too big assignments. I'm upset.
I'm NOT TO THE POINT. :: Which makes me incredibly sad because I want to make it soooo perfect. Some assignments are perfect and well enough my teacher tells me, and my intelligence is a higher one than average.

He is proud of me, he tells me. But I'm just a little overrated my dad just told me. Also with other stuff. I can't seem to see the grey area. you know?
I always shoot for the moon to soon. Which is good and a motivation blow, but i'm too much passionated probably. My brain is just weird lol.
So, it's not that big deal my teacher told me. Just shortened it the assigments and that's okay. You're the first pupil who I can give grades on this project since nobody is motivated well enough or writes only 3 phrases while you make a complete book work, just balance it, your classmates need to write longer and you need to write shorter..

But Oh god, I'm so afraid the assignments still aren't good enough... i'm so perfectionistic.

The next problem (urgh i don't wanna brag but here is) Is that a classmate asked me to send two homework assignments to him, and also the cable i've created for the workshop. I said, No, I made one cable I can't give you it, I need to show to my teacher. So he said that's OK, i'll make it today. then he said, can you give me those two assigments. I said are you gonna change stuff and font and such. he said yup all do. But now I'm so stupid cuz he probably still wants it. He'll be so mad. My mom and dad said Sas, you're not gonna send any of your homework. We don't want you to get in trouble, you are doing the right thing and you should learn for yourself only.

I just don't want my classmate to get mad at me, and their all coming to me all time like do you know this and that..

And the BIGGEST prob... Is that I'm so nervous for tomorrow!!!!
I will be dreading... To show my work and await his answer...
I will be afraid that he'll again say ''Not to the point enough or TOO CREATIVE'' or whatever... But do people understand my addiction? I love school so much... It's my passion to learn and make assignments.... I just love it!

But I'm OVERKILL.... I know , i know.

I also know that I am like this with too many things. I don't have a BRAKE HANDLE.. in my head LOL. I would even say yes if my teacher asks me to write 50 assignments for this week just to get a bonus.. Yup. I'm so insane!!!

I never know when to STOP.. or say HO HO HO! It's enough. Is that just me? What can I do about this? NEED ADVICE

I sorted out the papers and also I have tried to be more strictly to the point.. I really have to work on this and it's making me feel upset as hell....

I know it's just my damn brain I can't seem to be concrete enough .

Help.

Thanks for reading...

 

[Johno]

Please, go see a head doctor for a some what accurate analysis...... However. as a rough guess .... I would suggest investigating the the term " Aspergers Syndrome".... Good Luck!!

 

[Porto]

U are pretty fine! U dont need a doctor at all...U are just grabbing a 2nd chance going back to school. And that's pretty common! U just need to slow down a bit...If u wanna go ahead just go, but don't need to tell your teachers....I had a friend in my class when i was young for years...he was like always 2 years ahead...u can imagine how strange it was, the true is that he was to curious, to smart, and one became one of the best physics in the country! So it seems is no problem to do a litle bit of assignments....just enjoy!

 

[Falkor]

@ Porto :

Thank you dear. I'd rather not tell my teachers, I want them to think I'm sick when I avoid. lol. I know that's weird of me saying, but then they don't have a clue. XD and they can't complain about me being sick,, i hope. But they know a little though, but I won't tell them if it happens. Only 2 times I've spoken up to a teacher to tell them I've got serious panic attacks and anxiety disorder and they tell me, Just tell us you're sick and we will understand. so... I won't brag about anxiety too much.

But OFC I don't try to avoid, I want to be there LIKE EVERYDAY. But I need to take care more of not being so pressured and panicy. It's so hard to get ridd of this stupid system, alarmmm! grr. I will just go tomorrow. Will not delay school, that would be such a bummer, right?!

It's still weird to slow down bits, I like to work a lot. I can't imagine myself going to school without giving him something to look at or at least show some work!
Well, I've got a whole map full of work so I'll just take it with me, to feel better. I'm crazy. haha.

About that guy, that sounds cool, I know a guy who can calculate numbers to 6 zero's. 1,000,000. He's so talented. You'd ask him and he always knew. I think he'll be a genius at Mathematics.

Thanks btw. I'll write in my Journal here how it went.

I'm just still nervous that I will go downwards tomorrow since I can be so coming to breakpoints. I always have these, like extreme heavy feelings of despair and being upset and angry at myself, without reasons. Well, then I know Several reasons. But right now i'm okay. Finding myself in peace.
But I can totally panic, or have panic attacks or just kick in depression...

I really hope I will not let this happen tomorrow. I'm very bipolar. :/

I know that reducing stress and being calm is a good method for me, works for most of people. hehe.

@ Johno: People always told me I'm autistic when I was a child and some still do. So, Asperger's Syndrome is a good suggestion. I won't check it out now tho, maybe later. I have heard enough labels for now! :: It's funny though, I get obsessed about a lot of things.. for a period of time... So, that is a sure Asperger's thing... :: I could even get obsessed by checking out Asperger's Syndrome.. So, nop... I won't !! XD

It's interesting though.. I agree... but I first have to get myself together, yarp!