So I'm facing an issue here I thought someone here might could help me with...

[MaskedAvenger]

So I've known about this site for a while now but I don't think I've ever really used this place before (definitely never posted as far as I can remember). But this place came up again when I did a Google search about an issue earlier today. I finally cracked and decided to try posting what I've been dealing with lately and see if anyone has been through this too.

I'm not sure how to quite explain it, but it involves a woman I befriended not too long ago that I met through Reddit (which is why I can't post this there on the anxiety subreddit for fear she'd see this).

We connected pretty well and hit off great since we started talking (plus, we even live relatively close to each other in the grand scheme of things) and she even was responsible for pulling me out of a three or four week long depressive funk I was in. She's told me she's glad we met (the feeling's mutual) and things like she's glad I open up to her (and even that she thinks I'm sexy ).

But for some reason, I've been noticing this woman, through no fault of her own mind you, has been causing my social anxiety (or anxiety in general) to spike again and I have no idea why.

I mean, it's...she's not really "doing" anything that I could figure out what might be setting my anxiety off or making me worry about her liking me or whatever.

Heaven knows I love and enjoy talking to her so I can't figure out what is making me so awkward and anxious "around" her, or when I don't hear from her. I'm constantly worried I might be bothering her or things like that, even though things she tells me has clearly said anything but.

And that's my issue I'm facing. I have absolutely no idea why I'm feeling this way. I haven't felt like this around someone since I can't even remember and I can't figure out why I get so anxious or awkward thinking about her or worrying I'm just going to come off as a complete boob to her and all that. -_-

I mean, I know "anxiety" and all that, but I just wish I could pinpoint what is bringing all this up, what it is about this girl in particular or whatever, you know?


Anyone been through this or kind of know what I'm talking about going through? I'm not sure where else to turn to try getting help figuring out what's going on.

 

[leongrado]

So I've known about this site for a while now but I don't think I've ever really used this place before (definitely never posted as far as I can remember). But this place came up again when I did a Google search about an issue earlier today. I finally cracked and decided to try posting what I've been dealing with lately and see if anyone has been through this too.

I'm not sure how to quite explain it, but it involves a woman I befriended not too long ago that I met through Reddit (which is why I can't post this there on the anxiety subreddit for fear she'd see this).

We connected pretty well and hit off great since we started talking (plus, we even live relatively close to each other in the grand scheme of things) and she even was responsible for pulling me out of a three or four week long depressive funk I was in. She's told me she's glad we met (the feeling's mutual) and things like she's glad I open up to her (and even that she thinks I'm sexy ).

But for some reason, I've been noticing this woman, through no fault of her own mind you, has been causing my social anxiety (or anxiety in general) to spike again and I have no idea why.

I mean, it's...she's not really "doing" anything that I could figure out what might be setting my anxiety off or making me worry about her liking me or whatever.

Heaven knows I love and enjoy talking to her so I can't figure out what is making me so awkward and anxious "around" her, or when I don't hear from her. I'm constantly worried I might be bothering her or things like that, even though things she tells me has clearly said anything but.

And that's my issue I'm facing. I have absolutely no idea why I'm feeling this way. I haven't felt like this around someone since I can't even remember and I can't figure out why I get so anxious or awkward thinking about her or worrying I'm just going to come off as a complete boob to her and all that. -_-

I mean, I know "anxiety" and all that, but I just wish I could pinpoint what is bringing all this up, what it is about this girl in particular or whatever, you know?


Anyone been through this or kind of know what I'm talking about going through? I'm not sure where else to turn to try getting help figuring out what's going on.

Definitely know what you are talking about. The more you care about someone, the more worried you are that they will not like you an leave you. I'm guessing that's why your anxiety is popping up. You're always scared that she might dislike something about what you said and leave you.

I used to be like this when I first started dated. I was always really awkward towards girls because I was so worried that I would do/say something wrong. Usually the girl feels the same way and it makes it more awkward.

Somewhere along the way I found out that the more comfortable you act and less you try to control the outcome, the easier it is to attract the girl.

 

[MaskedAvenger]

Definitely know what you are talking about. The more you care about someone, the more worried you are that they will not like you an leave you. I'm guessing that's why your anxiety is popping up. You're always scared that she might dislike something about what you said and leave you.

I used to be like this when I first started dated. I was always really awkward towards girls because I was so worried that I would do/say something wrong. Usually the girl feels the same way and it makes it more awkward.

Somewhere along the way I found out that the more comfortable you act and less you try to control the outcome, the easier it is to attract the girl.

I guess maybe that could be it, or part of it. I like her a lot and I guess I want her to like me too and I'm worried something is going to go wrong. I could see that.

And crazy enough, now you mention it, I think she also might want to know I feel the same or something, like she wants to know what I think of her. Like yesterday she PMed me on Reddit asking what I thought of two pictures of herself and wanted to know if I liked them before she actually posted them in a topic on the subreddit she had earlier told me I should join that she was on. You know, kind of go out of her way to link them privately to me first and ask my opinion or something because she wanted to hear me say I liked how she looked in the pictures and so forth. I just wondered if maybe that's what she was aiming for because I used to do the same thing. For most people I didn't particularly care, or I appreciated positive stuff from people but someone I cared about in particular who I wanted to like me as well, I wanted to know what they thought of me or how I looked in particular. Like their opinion is what I wanted primarily. I'm not sure how to quite get what I'm trying to say across, so hopefully you get what I mean.

 

[R3K]

ok I glanced at reddit.com for a minute, but it's way confusing... can you explain the point of the website real quick? is it a social networking site, dating site, or some kind of instagram-like thing?

going off what I do know though, and what you've described of your situation... I think you might be obsessing over her a little too much. and she's probably enjoying it at its face value. take a pause in your day and ask yourself, are you just fawning over the interpreted text-based communications and digital images of this girl, or is there a real connection that's even worth worrying about?

she's not directly the cause of any of your anxiety, really, but it seems she's unwittingly causing you to create your own anxiety cycle, that perpetuates and worsens the more you think about and communicate with her.

 

[MaskedAvenger]

ok I glanced at reddit.com for a minute, but it's way confusing... can you explain the point of the website real quick? is it a social networking site, dating site, or some kind of instagram-like thing?

going off what I do know though, and what you've described of your situation... I think you might be obsessing over her a little too much. and she's probably enjoying it at its face value. take a pause in your day and ask yourself, are you just fawning over the interpreted text-based communications and digital images of this girl, or is there a real connection that's even worth worrying about?

she's not directly the cause of any of your anxiety, really, but it seems she's unwittingly causing you to create your own anxiety cycle, that perpetuates and worsens the more you think about and communicate with her.

It's kind of a forum-ish place with subreddits for different interests, like gaming or just pictures, or whatnot. Basically whatever you might be interested in, there's probably a place for it that other people post on. One I go to a lot is the Minecraft subreddit. It was kind of confusing to me when I first started checking it out too. It's just a place for people to group together and share stuff related to whatever you might be into.

But...I didn't mean to come off that I might be doing that. I mean, the anxiety and worry aren't really there all the time but every so often that I'm thinking about this or anything. It's more something will pop up in the back of my head and it'll just go from there, kind of like yesterday afternoon or last night when I posted initially. It'll just randomly pop up and my anxiety will randomly kick in at random points every so often and all that. For the most part, I'm fine with talking to her and everything, but then the anxiety wants to pop in and I'll start wondering about different things until I can finally get it to go away. About what I said, for instance. You know what I mean?

But I definitely see what you're saying though. The thought has crossed my mind about the taking a moment out of your day. I guess if it's the first option (well, either I guess), time will certainly tell me if nothing else.


Either way, thanks guys. I think I kind of have what I was looking for about what has been causing my social anxiety to rear its head again lately. Thanks for the outside insight.