I have kind of a strange thing here. I hope I can explain it so it makes sense.
I have social anxiety, shyness, and probably avoidant peronality disorder as well. Also, i am legally blind, and I have a hormone poblem as wel, all of which has made me gun shy around othe people.
Three months ago, a co-worker (whom I have known for 20 years) lost his 20 year old daughter in a car accident. It is the saddest thing that has ever happened to anyone I know, and i have been sotpping by his office frequently to see how he is doing. He would often encourage me to keep coming to visit, as it helps.
One thing that have noticed, though, is that when I see him, he usually tells me he is doing okay, sometimes he'll say getting through, or something like that.
Then when one of the girls here goes to see him, he tells them a lot more about how he is feeling. That leads me to wonder what, if anything, I am doing wrong. I know it is up to him to tell each person what he wants to tell them, and I want to be a friend in whatever capacity he needs me, even if it is just to say hello.
But at the same time - and this ties into my social anxiety - I wonder why he tells me (who he';s known for 20 years) "doing okay," and others, who he's a lot less, he goes more into depth.
I don't pry, so I don't ask probing questions. But I feel socially inept at when something like that comes up.
The only thing I can think of is that he seems me almost every day and the others maybe once every couple of weeks, so maybe that's it.
I hope that doesn't come across as "about me," I really do want to put his needs first, but sometimes it feels like I justdon't know the right things to say or do.
Any advice is appreicated.
Al
I have social anxiety, shyness, and probably avoidant peronality disorder as well. Also, i am legally blind, and I have a hormone poblem as wel, all of which has made me gun shy around othe people.
Three months ago, a co-worker (whom I have known for 20 years) lost his 20 year old daughter in a car accident. It is the saddest thing that has ever happened to anyone I know, and i have been sotpping by his office frequently to see how he is doing. He would often encourage me to keep coming to visit, as it helps.
One thing that have noticed, though, is that when I see him, he usually tells me he is doing okay, sometimes he'll say getting through, or something like that.
Then when one of the girls here goes to see him, he tells them a lot more about how he is feeling. That leads me to wonder what, if anything, I am doing wrong. I know it is up to him to tell each person what he wants to tell them, and I want to be a friend in whatever capacity he needs me, even if it is just to say hello.
But at the same time - and this ties into my social anxiety - I wonder why he tells me (who he';s known for 20 years) "doing okay," and others, who he's a lot less, he goes more into depth.
I don't pry, so I don't ask probing questions. But I feel socially inept at when something like that comes up.
The only thing I can think of is that he seems me almost every day and the others maybe once every couple of weeks, so maybe that's it.
I hope that doesn't come across as "about me," I really do want to put his needs first, but sometimes it feels like I justdon't know the right things to say or do.
Any advice is appreicated.
Al