veryshy
Well-known member
Every person I know and especially every girl I know of or work with is hooked up or married. Its rediculous, even strangers Ive struggled with making conversation with all end up being in a relationship with someone. I feel like Im the only single schmuck in the world.
Im just dieing for some attention from girls. Ive tried and Ive tried and Ive failed every single time, people always say "When you dont expect it you'll find someone" or "when you stop looking someone will come along". Well my entire teenage years and all of my life afterwards I "wasnt really looking" and I dont think there was any girl who wanted anything to do with me. It wasnt untill 1 1/2 years ago that I even thought someone would even want to be with me, that I even thought there was someone I wanted to be with, well.... I was mistaken she didnt want to be with me, she would rather get back together with her ex-husband who cheated on her. :?
Ever since then, I have been this horrible emotional rollercoaster of loneliness. Everytime I meet a girl I think might like me or I might have a chance with, I get all happy and semi-confident (because Im never fully confident), then when I work up the guts to ask her out, Im blown off, told she has someone else I didnt know about, etc., etc. and thats the ride back down to where I seem to live.... very low and hopeless. I dont know why but I dont like other people around (especially people I know) when I try to talk to girls or ask them out.
To make matters worse I live in a small town, theres really no "nightlife" scene I can just go mix into and I'm not a wealthy person. My car is not cool. I try to dress nice and look nice, but that dont seem to change anything... I mean yea I sometimes spot girls looking at me when Im in the store or something... but how the heck do you walk up to someone and just start a conversation?? I've tried the internet... unless your rich, have a really neat job or are a superstud/bad boy, it is like a tease. Sometimes when I see a pretty girl, I just get all depressed, because I already know...
I think people I know think Im gay or weird, because they've never seen me with a girl, I dont know what my parents think, but my mom seems dissappointed everytime I talk to her and she asks " So what have you been up to?" and she gets a response like "nothing much, same ol', sameol'". I know what she means "meet any girls? have any fun? Go on any dates?", but I've never really talked about my love life (or lack thereof) to anyone in my family. To her I think I seem angry and disenchanted and in some ways I think I am. I mean I'm a loser, my brother has been married and has a new baby on the way, been in multiple relationships and me... well... Im 25 and have never been out with a girl or been kissed, never even close. When no one is around and I think about it, I start to cry.
I wish I could go back and change my attitude when growing up, maybe that would make me a more social and cooler. Maybe I could of had a normal life, had a high school sweetheart, had some crazy, party years, maybe 1 or 2 failed relationships as learning tools and now I could be well on my way into my future with a special someone.
If that wasnt possible, maybe I could go back to before I thought someone would want to be with me and I could realize then that nobody wants me and I could go back to contentness I had before....
Im just dieing for some attention from girls. Ive tried and Ive tried and Ive failed every single time, people always say "When you dont expect it you'll find someone" or "when you stop looking someone will come along". Well my entire teenage years and all of my life afterwards I "wasnt really looking" and I dont think there was any girl who wanted anything to do with me. It wasnt untill 1 1/2 years ago that I even thought someone would even want to be with me, that I even thought there was someone I wanted to be with, well.... I was mistaken she didnt want to be with me, she would rather get back together with her ex-husband who cheated on her. :?
Ever since then, I have been this horrible emotional rollercoaster of loneliness. Everytime I meet a girl I think might like me or I might have a chance with, I get all happy and semi-confident (because Im never fully confident), then when I work up the guts to ask her out, Im blown off, told she has someone else I didnt know about, etc., etc. and thats the ride back down to where I seem to live.... very low and hopeless. I dont know why but I dont like other people around (especially people I know) when I try to talk to girls or ask them out.
To make matters worse I live in a small town, theres really no "nightlife" scene I can just go mix into and I'm not a wealthy person. My car is not cool. I try to dress nice and look nice, but that dont seem to change anything... I mean yea I sometimes spot girls looking at me when Im in the store or something... but how the heck do you walk up to someone and just start a conversation?? I've tried the internet... unless your rich, have a really neat job or are a superstud/bad boy, it is like a tease. Sometimes when I see a pretty girl, I just get all depressed, because I already know...
I think people I know think Im gay or weird, because they've never seen me with a girl, I dont know what my parents think, but my mom seems dissappointed everytime I talk to her and she asks " So what have you been up to?" and she gets a response like "nothing much, same ol', sameol'". I know what she means "meet any girls? have any fun? Go on any dates?", but I've never really talked about my love life (or lack thereof) to anyone in my family. To her I think I seem angry and disenchanted and in some ways I think I am. I mean I'm a loser, my brother has been married and has a new baby on the way, been in multiple relationships and me... well... Im 25 and have never been out with a girl or been kissed, never even close. When no one is around and I think about it, I start to cry.
I wish I could go back and change my attitude when growing up, maybe that would make me a more social and cooler. Maybe I could of had a normal life, had a high school sweetheart, had some crazy, party years, maybe 1 or 2 failed relationships as learning tools and now I could be well on my way into my future with a special someone.
If that wasnt possible, maybe I could go back to before I thought someone would want to be with me and I could realize then that nobody wants me and I could go back to contentness I had before....