Simple tips

[Iseesky]

What are some simple things that you can do (or try to do) to everyday to help get rid of or ease your SA?

I'd like to hear them so I can try them out!
For me, two things have reallllyyyy helped: Smiling and eye contact.

I smile at everyone and at the same time make eye contact with them. It shows people that I'm warm and approachable. I feel that people notice and go out of their way to smile back and talk to me. It prevents me from having to talk to them first if I'm not comfortable doing so. I used to shut myself off by looking down when walking and when talking to people. I always had a certain look on my face and people just always assumed that I didn't like them! Nobody told me that until I started smiling. 'I always thought you didn't like me!' they'd say 'you look so mad!'

So, yeah, that's my advice...Have any for me?

 

[phil91]

Each day, do one small little thing that takes you out your comfort zone. Not something drastic that will make you panic and go "oh god, i can't do this". Just something you don't usually do that will break your usual SA routine.

 

[orange_balloon]

Sometimes I answer the phone, hehe. It is something I'm not comfortable with, but at least it is not actually interacting face to face with somebody

 

[Blumentopf]

I do Sports because it gives me the feeling of control and power. Because of SA I have the feeling that I don't have both emotionally and mentally, so thats why sports helps me. Another thing is smiling, too. I seem very hectic and grim and cold because I used to try to look tough and cool so my akwardness wouldn't show as much haha :]. I listen to music which helps me a whole bunch; it eases me and my SA temporarily, and in the next hours i probably do not really worry about anybody. I do routines that helps me to focus on myself. It is important to me to improve myself first. If you know who you are and what you want, and if you get more self-confident and less anxious, THEN you start to focus on all these stuff with socializing and other people. I kinda do both at the time, but i mostly focus on myself. Which starts to work:] Its like a chain reaction.. as soon as I get more confident and LOVE myself, it comes easier to me to socialize with ppl who end up liking me :]

Hope it helped.

 

[SeptembersGold19]

I know... people think that I am a b*tch sometimes and that I am rude.... but in reality it's just that I have anxiety! Honestly I don't know... I am trying a new approach as well I am trying out some new medications and hoping for the best...

 

[Iseesky]

It's too bad that people just assume most shy people are stuck up or rude. The smiling and seeming friendly definitely helps with that! I wish you luck!

Thanks for the ideas everyone! Definitely going to try some of them out. Especially the phone one. I always make my parents call to make me appointments for the dentist/doctor...etc. Maybe I'll try to start doing it myself!

I've thought about doing a different thing each day that takes me out of my comfort zone...Sounds like a great plan, but I can never think of anything to do! lol

 

[AimeeSP]

I listen to some feel good happy music in the morning, usually 80's music because it's the best. This helps me to start the day off feeling happy even if it does end horribly, at least i felt good at some point during the day.

I also have this book with positive quotes for each day of the year.

And like you i also smile alot, sometimes too much but i can't help that i smile even when i'm nervous or sad lol.

 

[anomicdeer]

What are some simple things that you can do (or try to do) to everyday to help get rid of or ease your SA?

I'd like to hear them so I can try them out!
For me, two things have reallllyyyy helped: Smiling and eye contact.

I smile at everyone and at the same time make eye contact with them. It shows people that I'm warm and approachable. I feel that people notice and go out of their way to smile back and talk to me. It prevents me from having to talk to them first if I'm not comfortable doing so. I used to shut myself off by looking down when walking and when talking to people. I always had a certain look on my face and people just always assumed that I didn't like them! Nobody told me that until I started smiling. 'I always thought you didn't like me!' they'd say 'you look so mad!'

So, yeah, that's my advice...Have any for me?

I am the same way! People say the same thing. Now... I just have to remember to smile.

 

[Lea]

Smiling and eyecontact, jeez that's exactly what I cannot do. If I could of course all my problems would be solved. Recently I was telling my therapist that if I should look into somebody's face, it makes me feel like I'm being rude. She said, no, it's the opposite! So this is really funny, how come it makes me feel rude? I cannot help it.

 

[anomicdeer]

I listen to some feel good happy music in the morning, usually 80's music because it's the best. This helps me to start the day off feeling happy even if it does end horribly, at least i felt good at some point during the day.

I also have this book with positive quotes for each day of the year.

And like you i also smile alot, sometimes too much but i can't help that i smile even when i'm nervous or sad lol.

Music is the greatest thing to me right now. It always has been, but I have been feeling horrible lately and I think I am getting a little better by the music and also getting a little active with yoga or something. (When I go out, I just have to remember to smile)

 

[overcome.]

Music can help you in all sorts of ways, while reflecting on moods, it can also help you relax. Relaxing is underated, since stress can do so many things to you. A tip I'd offer though, if in a public place is to realise that not everybody is looking at or is at all focused on you. Sure people could look, but that's people and human nature, you can't stop that.

Have you ever spent an annoying afternoon of walking round the shops for example or walking somewhere where you just get bumped into, brushed past, all the time? That's because people don't always focus on you or acknowledge you, they're often in their own world with their own demons bothering them, or just aren't that awake. Meaning overall, people aren't concentrated on you as much as you think. If somebody from the opposite sex is constantly making eye contact with you then there's a good chance they find you attractive that's all.

Another thing that could help with making phone calls is to make a small list, even in order if you wish, of points that you need to make on the phone. Even if you write a speech bracket of exactly what you'd like to say, ask or generally enquire about. I'll do this now and again if I have to make a call of any importance. Also, remember to breathe and relax - sometimes easier said than done I know. But if you go a little slower and just think about what you're going to say, then the chances are you won't stutter quite as much.

 

[userremoved]

Have you ever spent an annoying afternoon of walking round the shops for example or walking somewhere where you just get bumped into, brushed past, all the time? That's because people don't always focus on you or acknowledge you, they're often in their own world with their own demons bothering them, or just aren't that awake. Meaning overall, people aren't concentrated on you as much as you think. If somebody from the opposite sex is constantly making eye contact with you then there's a good chance they find you attractive that's all.

I've honestly never thought of this before. Keeping that in mind I think that'll help me a lot when walking around the mall for anything. Usually I feel like I'm in front of a firing squad in crowded places like that. And yeah I think I'm probably taking looks from the opposite sex the wrong way.