Hi,
so, here I am. I finally registered at a forum like this, which basically means I am acknowledging that I have a problem....
It seems I am unable to succeed with any form of relationship, whether it be a romantic, professional or friendship. It seems to always end up with the other side hating my guts.
Some say I am too insecure, others say I am too dominant. I have been described as "too negative", which I first thought meant pessimistic, but upon further enquiry turned out they got the feeling "they can't do things right around me". Perfectionism much...? Yup.
From introspection and a shitload of books, I have come to the analysis that the fact I was bullied as a kid, but couldn't speak about it at home. Home wasn't safe due to a combination of ridiculous high expectations, an overprotective mother and a father who ....as I now realize ... probably suffered from some social issues as well.
Wow, reading back, it's a miracle I haven't done a highschool shooting.
Over the years, I have problems keeping those I love around me, or even stick in a job for more than two years.
People tend to give the advice "Be yourself", which I am starting to think is the worst possible advice for me, as I either paralyze under pressure, or take blunt actions, and when relaxed I tend to let my sarcasm show which freaks out people even more.
I've read all the books, and I've learned the lessons: be kind, don't be too critical, listen and don't judge... all that. Difficult stuff to do when in a job, but outside of work hardly possible at all.
Being with people just seems to be a very difficult job. And I am starting to give up. I've been doing some dates, and sitting their, I either find myself realizing "this isn't the one" rapidly, or... when I do like her, thinking "what's the point, it won't last anyway... if it works out in the first place".
so, here I am. I finally registered at a forum like this, which basically means I am acknowledging that I have a problem....
It seems I am unable to succeed with any form of relationship, whether it be a romantic, professional or friendship. It seems to always end up with the other side hating my guts.
Some say I am too insecure, others say I am too dominant. I have been described as "too negative", which I first thought meant pessimistic, but upon further enquiry turned out they got the feeling "they can't do things right around me". Perfectionism much...? Yup.
From introspection and a shitload of books, I have come to the analysis that the fact I was bullied as a kid, but couldn't speak about it at home. Home wasn't safe due to a combination of ridiculous high expectations, an overprotective mother and a father who ....as I now realize ... probably suffered from some social issues as well.
Wow, reading back, it's a miracle I haven't done a highschool shooting.
Over the years, I have problems keeping those I love around me, or even stick in a job for more than two years.
People tend to give the advice "Be yourself", which I am starting to think is the worst possible advice for me, as I either paralyze under pressure, or take blunt actions, and when relaxed I tend to let my sarcasm show which freaks out people even more.
I've read all the books, and I've learned the lessons: be kind, don't be too critical, listen and don't judge... all that. Difficult stuff to do when in a job, but outside of work hardly possible at all.
Being with people just seems to be a very difficult job. And I am starting to give up. I've been doing some dates, and sitting their, I either find myself realizing "this isn't the one" rapidly, or... when I do like her, thinking "what's the point, it won't last anyway... if it works out in the first place".
