sick and tired of not having a boyfriend!!!
- Thread starter Reholla
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Reholla
Well-known member
blackcap said:
Well its kinda both. I was dating a guy i thought was pretty cute except then i found out he looted :-O lol.....and that kind of sketchiness just isnt attractive. And there were a few other things i found out about his background and things hes done that i found out about that were even more sketchy. So we kinda stopped seeing each other.
Then i met this guy in my class who is like the epitome of what i want my husband to be. He was even cuter than Matt Damon or George Clooney. And his personality was even better. So all semester i was trying to think what i could say to him to strike up a conversation....I knew he had such a good personality just because of everything he would say in class. So anyway, the last day i finally decided to talk to him and it was great. We had such a nice conversation, but that was it. He was too far away from me to say anything else after class ended. And ive seen him at the gym and at the grocery store since then and we kinda had a moment.....but i never had the nerve to go back up to him and ask him how he's been. (He never went up to me either)
So anyway, where im at now is just wondering what could have been with that relationship, and not meeting any guys since then. Like just the other night i went to a party which was majority guys, but i didnt find any of them attractive or some one i'd want to date...its been like 6 months since that class. And i havent met a guy who compares with him.
And i guess its not about comparison. Its about just finding a good guy that im attracted to.
any suggestions of what im doing wrong anyone??
Hmm, assuming the guy in your class wasn't shy himself, sounds like he was either gay or already attached! I guess the only other thing you could've done was exchange email addresses so you could keep in touch on a casual basis and see what develops.
But it also sounds like you are very picky and are waiting for your ideal guy, rather than giving guys who seem less than ideal a chance. Given that you attend parties (are you sure you have SA???), you shouldn't have problems meeting guys. It's up to you whether you hold out for Mr Right (who might only come along once in a blue moon) or give some other guys a chance and see if things develop from there. You never know, someone who you don't think is your type at first may turn out to be just that, once you get to know them.
But it also sounds like you are very picky and are waiting for your ideal guy, rather than giving guys who seem less than ideal a chance. Given that you attend parties (are you sure you have SA???), you shouldn't have problems meeting guys. It's up to you whether you hold out for Mr Right (who might only come along once in a blue moon) or give some other guys a chance and see if things develop from there. You never know, someone who you don't think is your type at first may turn out to be just that, once you get to know them.
Reholla
Well-known member
No the guy in my class definitely wasnt shy. He was very outspoken..... and maybe he is gay afterall? But you know , we're friends on myspace and it says hes straight....and it also says hes single. So i dont know....
And yes i do have SA i get very nervous when giving any kind of presentation....
And this is my biggest problem: guys that im attracted to i am SOOOO shy around (kinda like with the guy in my class)...and usually dont have the guts to say anything to them.
So meeting that kind of guy is hard in the first place but then actually saying something to them is a whole nother thing!
And yes i do have SA i get very nervous when giving any kind of presentation....
And this is my biggest problem: guys that im attracted to i am SOOOO shy around (kinda like with the guy in my class)...and usually dont have the guts to say anything to them.
So meeting that kind of guy is hard in the first place but then actually saying something to them is a whole nother thing!
SocialRetahd
Well-known member
Reholla said:
The majority of guys are only attracted to girls based on looks. If he's as great looking as you say he is than he probably can get very attractive females. Maybe you weren't worth the trouble based on your level of physical attractiveness.
Maybe you should stop being so shallow and realize what you're going to realize when you're 30.
This thread is an insult to a lot of people here because most of them can't find ANYONE.
Reholla
Well-known member
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT SOCIAL RETAHD! i CAN always count on you for some positive feedback.
what in the world does that mean? What am i gonna magically realize when im 30?
and this post wasnt intended to be an insult to anyone.... i litterally have NO ONE in my life right now......how is that an insult to anyone....its not.
SocialRetahd said:
what in the world does that mean? What am i gonna magically realize when im 30?
and this post wasnt intended to be an insult to anyone.... i litterally have NO ONE in my life right now......how is that an insult to anyone....its not.
silentbutdeadly
Well-known member
Reholla said:
My suggestion: just ignore him (him being social retahd), don't let negativity get you down.
If you know where that guy's myspace page is why don't you just try to talk to him online?
spectator
Well-known member
Haha, welcome to my world. Except I never even had girlfriends in childhood or teenage/college years.Reholla said:
If you're too picky I guess you should just give someone with just one particular attractive factor a try. Maybe you'll come to like more things about him. You can't let any glaring fault get in your way, because it may very well be the only fault, and everyone has at least 1, and trust me, you'd rather have it be glaring than subtle or something you'd find out when you're married. But maybe I shouldn't give advice, since my standards are pretty much the lowest one can get.
About being outgoing....well that's one of the collective problems we all have on this forum, I think
Reholla said:
Have you tried chatting to him via MySpace to try and develop some sort of relationship? If so, and he's still not interested, I guess there's nothing more you can do. Keep in contact though, you never know what might happen after a while...
Reholla said:
That is you, on the right in your avatar isn't it? If so, surely you must get lots of guys trying to hit on you at parties and stuff...? Have you tried dating them, even if you're not attracted to them at first?
haze
Well-known member
tbh i think SocialRetahd is coping quite well, being cynical like that probably makes him feel better its usually a nice feeling once you have unloaded all that onto another.
also why do you even care if you have a boyfriend or not, sounds needy to me if its actually getting on your nerves. but good luck with your quest, even though its probably going to be more trouble then its worth .
also why do you even care if you have a boyfriend or not, sounds needy to me if its actually getting on your nerves. but good luck with your quest, even though its probably going to be more trouble then its worth
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sar_sarz
Member
Well reading the thread seems like every one who replied were blokes, because you want a boyfriend doesnt make you needy- its the most natural thing in the world, everyone wants a bf or gf.
And you dont sound picky at all and dont you dare lower your standards....you just need to wait for someone you fancy and feel a connection with.....
Im very lucky to have been with my bloke for 3 years and although he doesnt really get why im anxious etc he is there for me which is great!
ok I dont wanna rub it in any more so my girlie advice would be to try not to worry about it too much, (harder than you think!)
Good things usually happen when you least expect it, though if you cant wait why dont you get your friends to suggest guys you could date? Try to go out with friends of friends even if you are nervous at first it should be easier when you start to feel comfortable, i dunno how old you are but a glass of wine(or 6) usually helps me relax when im out.
Trust me it will come when you stop looking for it!
And you dont sound picky at all and dont you dare lower your standards....you just need to wait for someone you fancy and feel a connection with.....
Im very lucky to have been with my bloke for 3 years and although he doesnt really get why im anxious etc he is there for me which is great!
ok I dont wanna rub it in any more so my girlie advice would be to try not to worry about it too much, (harder than you think!)
Good things usually happen when you least expect it, though if you cant wait why dont you get your friends to suggest guys you could date? Try to go out with friends of friends even if you are nervous at first it should be easier when you start to feel comfortable, i dunno how old you are but a glass of wine(or 6) usually helps me relax when im out.
Trust me it will come when you stop looking for it!
Moonie
Well-known member
This is going to sound very terrible (or maybe cowardly or misleading) but I have had more success with getting boyfriends when I have met them drunk or online first. This is awful, but true.
The online one is not cowardly. If you have talked to someone online somehow- through AIM or what have you, you have something you have talked about on there. You can build your real life conversations off that (when you meet in person.) I have met a couple people online offline before and it went well because we sort of knew each other pretty well from our talks. I am choosy about who I meet, though. I usually don't meet them for months (and in some cases) years after we met online.
I have met a couple guys at bars- or talked more to those I already knew at bars when drinking. Some guys are just out for one thing, but I have met a couple really great ones this way. Yeah, I have been drinking, but it sort of breaks the awkwardness/ice. And when I have been drinking, I don't shut up. We are bound to find common interests. And after awhile, I have hung out with them sober. I am much more quiet, but it makes it a bit easier to open up.
And thirdly, I am kind of the opposite. I am not very picky. I will give almost anyone a chance if they seem like a good person. I don't care much about looks (and I have ecclectic taste in men.) So, I will hang out with someone at least once and see how it goes. I know quite a few people who are TOO picky. I think it can be both good and bad (good because they want the best person for them) and bad because they are missing out on some potentially good people. Perhaps be a little more open-minded with people.
The online one is not cowardly. If you have talked to someone online somehow- through AIM or what have you, you have something you have talked about on there. You can build your real life conversations off that (when you meet in person.) I have met a couple people online offline before and it went well because we sort of knew each other pretty well from our talks. I am choosy about who I meet, though. I usually don't meet them for months (and in some cases) years after we met online.
I have met a couple guys at bars- or talked more to those I already knew at bars when drinking. Some guys are just out for one thing, but I have met a couple really great ones this way. Yeah, I have been drinking, but it sort of breaks the awkwardness/ice. And when I have been drinking, I don't shut up. We are bound to find common interests. And after awhile, I have hung out with them sober. I am much more quiet, but it makes it a bit easier to open up.
And thirdly, I am kind of the opposite. I am not very picky. I will give almost anyone a chance if they seem like a good person. I don't care much about looks (and I have ecclectic taste in men.) So, I will hang out with someone at least once and see how it goes. I know quite a few people who are TOO picky. I think it can be both good and bad (good because they want the best person for them) and bad because they are missing out on some potentially good people. Perhaps be a little more open-minded with people.
Reholla
Well-known member
blackcap said:
We talked on myspace when we first became friends but now we dont talk anymore. I guess its good we can still stay in contact though.
Most guys who are attracted to me arent attracted to my stand offish attitude. The guys who do ask me out im not attracted to and turn down. I guess sometime i should say yes and go on a date to see how it is.
It could be better than i think.
ohand GUESS WHAT.... at thanksgiving my family asked the age old question "do you have a boyfriend" and yet again i had to answer with a no.....
this is so aggrivating
Reholla said:
Ah well, at least you do get asked out so Mr Right might be just around the corner. That's more of a chance than a lot of us guys around here have
Reholla said:
I used to get asked this too (girlfriend rather than boyfriend!).... by my work colleagues of all people! A few of them used to tease me about it, but in the last year or two they've stopped. They must realise it's never going to happen and feel sorry for me now... I think I liked it better when they teased 8O
Anyway, my advice is to give some of us geeks a break and give us a chance (but you might have to do the asking out
). At the very least you'll have someone to fix your computer :lol:
Depressed4life
Banned
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Man i remember when i was like mmm 13 and i was a freshman in HS. I used to see everyone with bfs and stuff and i wanted one really bad. LIke really bad because i wanted to feel the feeling of having that extra person you know. SO i ended up being stupid and getting screw over by guys all the time. NOT sexually but like mentally. I knew they weren't treating me right and were cheating but i let it fly because i was desperate to have a bf and i had really low self steem. I was basicly leaving a lie and they both just wanted to have sex with me because i am a virgin. I do understand how you feel, i will not lie to you. I have a bf who is 23 and i am 16 and well(met him when i was 15 and he was 21, i will turn 17 in two months), when i met him i wasn't thinking of finding a guy and the minute i saw him...i was like WOW!!!!!! I couldn't stop looking at him and stuff. I think that you will find that person when you least expected and when you least stop thinking about it. I UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION THOUGH...so hang in there.
Man i remember when i was like mmm 13 and i was a freshman in HS. I used to see everyone with bfs and stuff and i wanted one really bad. LIke really bad because i wanted to feel the feeling of having that extra person you know. SO i ended up being stupid and getting screw over by guys all the time. NOT sexually but like mentally. I knew they weren't treating me right and were cheating but i let it fly because i was desperate to have a bf and i had really low self steem. I was basicly leaving a lie and they both just wanted to have sex with me because i am a virgin. I do understand how you feel, i will not lie to you. I have a bf who is 23 and i am 16 and well(met him when i was 15 and he was 21, i will turn 17 in two months), when i met him i wasn't thinking of finding a guy and the minute i saw him...i was like WOW!!!!!! I couldn't stop looking at him and stuff. I think that you will find that person when you least expected and when you least stop thinking about it. I UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION THOUGH...so hang in there.