Shyness make you feel like an outcast?
- Thread starter shyboy1
- Start date
all_better_now
New member
Hi,
I think thats its important to remember that the quality of a person lies in their heart not in how clever they may or may not be.
Give me a kind/nice person who is quiet over someone who is "clever" and witty but self-centred, any day.
I think thats its important to remember that the quality of a person lies in their heart not in how clever they may or may not be.
Give me a kind/nice person who is quiet over someone who is "clever" and witty but self-centred, any day.
silenceisgolden
Member
I don't like being in large groups AT ALL!. If I'm ever in a situation when I have to be, and I really do mean HAVE TO BE, then I would just sit there and listen, thinking thinks I would love to say but won't in fear I will be laughted at or not taken seriously. Still I think just sitting there and listening has its benefits, I have learned alot by doing this. Ok being shy may stop me from interracting with people but I prefer to be an observer myself. 
:roll:
C x
:roll: C x
silenceisgolden
Member
thinks....*things....sorry my spelling is appauling!!!....ha ha ha
C x
C x
quaiza
New member
when i'm with my friends
im like dat too... wen im with my block, i get rili shy and suddenly i feel so left out because i dnt hav any jokes... and it gets to the point where i juzt watch them all talking to each other and laughing at each other's comments... and then suddenly, i just think about other things and i dont listen to them anymore... as if im in my own world... haha... i think im getting creepy oredi.
im like dat too... wen im with my block, i get rili shy and suddenly i feel so left out because i dnt hav any jokes... and it gets to the point where i juzt watch them all talking to each other and laughing at each other's comments... and then suddenly, i just think about other things and i dont listen to them anymore... as if im in my own world... haha... i think im getting creepy oredi.
toeknee
Member
Hi Everyone
I too feel uncomforetable in large groups unless they are long time friends, because I don't feel as nervous and the conversation flows. Only recently I have walked out on my job because I couldn't take it anymore. The reason being that the woman I worked with had a go at me and I was physically shaken, I started to feel a heat in my face and it just felt horrible so I just walked out, well ran really!
Every tea break we would sit in a group and I would contribute a little to the conversation but because of the worsening working relationship with this woman I had become more distant and depressed and stayed quiet!
I too feel uncomforetable in large groups unless they are long time friends, because I don't feel as nervous and the conversation flows. Only recently I have walked out on my job because I couldn't take it anymore. The reason being that the woman I worked with had a go at me and I was physically shaken, I started to feel a heat in my face and it just felt horrible so I just walked out, well ran really!
Every tea break we would sit in a group and I would contribute a little to the conversation but because of the worsening working relationship with this woman I had become more distant and depressed and stayed quiet!
Anonymous
Well-known member
I know what u guys mean..
Its like i wanna to join the conversation but i just dont have the 'energy' to say something, most of the time i don't know what to say.. whats funny is that the minute u have your alone time with urself ideas come flowing into your head, and i would say to myself
"If I would say that yesterday it would be great"
Oddly though, sometimes when i am in large groups i would burst out and can talk all day and do things i would not usually do. A few moments later i'll be back to my timid self..
maybe i'm a little schizo?
Its like i wanna to join the conversation but i just dont have the 'energy' to say something, most of the time i don't know what to say.. whats funny is that the minute u have your alone time with urself ideas come flowing into your head, and i would say to myself
"If I would say that yesterday it would be great"
Oddly though, sometimes when i am in large groups i would burst out and can talk all day and do things i would not usually do. A few moments later i'll be back to my timid self..
maybe i'm a little schizo?
Anonymous
Well-known member
I like smallish groups best, about 4 or 5 people. It means there's enough ither people to keep the conversation going and you can just chip in when you feel like it.
When the group gets bigger than that, it's harder to get a word in edge-ways and so I start to feel anxious that I'm feeling left out. Or worse, when the big group starts to split into 2 smaller groups and you find yourself part of neither, just sat alone looking like a prize turkey.
But when I'm with just one other person, I get nervous as there's much more onus on me to keep the conversation going. I usually end up worrying so much about what to say next that my mind just goes blank. I hate awkward silences. To be honest, I can't really imagine ever getting over this aspect of SA. If you're no good at making conversation, then I don't see how you're ever going to form meaningful relationships with other people.
When the group gets bigger than that, it's harder to get a word in edge-ways and so I start to feel anxious that I'm feeling left out. Or worse, when the big group starts to split into 2 smaller groups and you find yourself part of neither, just sat alone looking like a prize turkey.
But when I'm with just one other person, I get nervous as there's much more onus on me to keep the conversation going. I usually end up worrying so much about what to say next that my mind just goes blank. I hate awkward silences. To be honest, I can't really imagine ever getting over this aspect of SA. If you're no good at making conversation, then I don't see how you're ever going to form meaningful relationships with other people.
ricoche
Member
I am always shy whatever size the group is. I'm okay with one or two people when I know them very very well and there are some people with whom I simply can't have a conversation! My biggest problem is not my shyness however. I'm just unable to have a conversation with someone. I don't know what to say and I feel uncomfortable. Does anyone else feel like that?
Anonymous
Well-known member
if you feel uncomfortable and can't have a conversation then you most likely have some degree of sa,which is not that unusual.i have real problems holding conversation,as i am thinking over in my mind and lose the run of the converstion,and the more i try to make conversation the worse my anxiety over being quiet increases.don't beat yourself up over it,as it takes 2 to make conversation and 2 to create silence.
dazz
Active member
i started another college course on monday, 2 others that were in my class the year before also joined the class. The other 2 were chatting and getting to know the other students in the class, and i..just sitting in the corner, looking into space :?
i dont think my SA will ever get better, just no way past it
i dont think my SA will ever get better, just no way past it
ricoche
Member
Anonymous said:
No I don't think so. I'm just shy, really. I feel uncomfortable because Nobody's speaking and I try to find something to say but I can't. That's all. However, I never know what to say in a conversation (or when I'm writing letters) and this is really embarrassing so does anyone here know what causes it.
GettingThere
Well-known member
Yeah that just sounds like shyness. Have you tried to find some common interest with these people? - music, movies, sport, whatever.
There are the common and "safe" conversation topics, weather & news, but thats probably not too cool for a 14 year old.
I find that its easy and less stressful to ask questions and get someone else speaking about things in their life. People never get bored speaking about themselves! Just simple things like, did you watch any t.v. last night? What is your favourite music? What do you think about.....etc.
There are the common and "safe" conversation topics, weather & news, but thats probably not too cool for a 14 year old.
I find that its easy and less stressful to ask questions and get someone else speaking about things in their life. People never get bored speaking about themselves! Just simple things like, did you watch any t.v. last night? What is your favourite music? What do you think about.....etc.