should I let myself like some one?

[pinkputter]

I have already let myself think its ok that i havent had a bofriend in years.... I'm over not being like everyone else and not having a boyfriend.

But this past semester, i had a class with a guy who could possibly be THE ONE...I know that sounds stupid. But everything he said in class, I agreed with to a T. It was a philosophy class and we talked about some pretty deep stuff. Everything he said i agreed with. He was in my group for a class assignment and we talked SOME but i was of course going crazy with the few times we did talk just because of my SA.
I figured out his name by counting up how many people were in front of us on the role sheet. lol i know i am a major dork.
I know he's Christian, which is very important to me as well.

I honestly like this guy so much that to see him go, and to let this oppotunity escape, I would be wondering what happened possibly the rest of my life.... I know thats really dramatic but so true.
I see him about once a week in this building before a class we have at the same time.
My question is, do you think i should even pursue being in a relationship now? You guys know how SA is, and how its hard to keep relationships.... but i feel like this is my last chance to at least say hi to him, see if he remembers me from class or whatever happens. I just dont know if it is wise since i dont want to set myself up for more emotional stuff outside of SA....just SA is enough. But he litterally could be my dream guy and if i let this pass now, i may never see him again.

Ok, yall get the situation, i know this sounds trivial compared to SA but i needed some one who's going thru the same thing as me to give advice.... thanks!

 

[Thelema]

Yes you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't do something. With SA you know we regret MUCH more what we DON'T do then what we do do. Say something even if it sounds stupid and you won't regret it.

 

[pinkputter]

thanks for your advice, I kinda felt the same way but just wanted some reassurance about it.

I know he's single for sure, and he seems like a nice guy to where he wouldnt think i was trying to hit on him...which i guess i am, haha.

I have just heard ppl on this forum talk about how theyve had boyfriends/girlfriends and i really do think its time for me to at least think about it, especially when i think so great of this guy.

But that brings even more worry .. the fact that he IS such a great guy... actually from what i can tell everything i would ever want in a boyfriend, husband, everything.... so it makes me feel like if im not ready for that yet, and i blow it, there goes my chance with him....

so thelma do you still think I should go for it???
Anyone else want to put their thoughts about this?

 

[Thelema]

thanks for your advice, I kinda felt the same way but just wanted some reassurance about it.

I know he's single for sure, and he seems like a nice guy to where he wouldnt think i was trying to hit on him...which i guess i am, haha.

I have just heard ppl on this forum talk about how theyve had boyfriends/girlfriends and i really do think its time for me to at least think about it, especially when i think so great of this guy.

But that brings even more worry .. the fact that he IS such a great guy... actually from what i can tell everything i would ever want in a boyfriend, husband, everything.... so it makes me feel like if im not ready for that yet, and i blow it, there goes my chance with him....

so thelma do you still think I should go for it???
Anyone else want to put their thoughts about this?

If he is such a great guy why would he blow you off if you say one thing one time that isn't perfect? Just be natural because if he's going to fall for you he is going to fall for YOU not what you said in one conversation.

I'm sure he is just praying for a girlfriend and you have the choice to give him that gift that he wants so bad. Don't torture him another day with your silence!

Break the ice and get it over and done with.

Go for it girl. I'll be hoping for you and make sure you let us know how it goes.

 

[frizboy]

Is that avatar a picture of you? Holy poo on a stick! Go for it. He'd be crazy to turn you down.

 

[pinkputter]

lol frizboy and thelma thanks! I love your honesty thelma.

well school starts and our next meeting will be next week, which will be the first chance i will get to see him

I will definitely let you know what happens and how it goes.

And youre right, i just need to go for it!!

 

[Kinetik]

One thing to think about though is that life is typically a numbers' game. It sounds cynical and what have you, but if you've been holding back on relationships for a long time, the chances that this guy will be your life-long husband are fairly slim. Of course, it's fine to romanticize and dream of what could happen, and I'm not saying it can't, but be prepared for a let down in a worst-case scenario. I remember when I first started dating, I had such high hopes for everything. I pushed everyone's concerns to one side, thinking "that won't be me" but inevitably, it was. I like your posts PP, I think you're a good person, and the object of your affections is no doubt a lucky guy. Just be careful - don't give your heart out until you're sure of things.

 

[pinkputter]

Kinetik: your post reaffirmed my underlying doubt i was thinking of the whole time... But thanks!! Its not bad. . Really im glad you shared youre view cause ive thought the same thing.

Thats why im like, should i wait, and after ive gotten more into dating, THEN go for him ... by then he may be taken, or by then... theres just a lot to think about.

lol I would drive myself crazy thinking of all the things that *could* go wrong... I guess you just have to find humor in it all.... how you never know the outcome of stuff like this.

I probably will at least say hi to him and see if he remembers me from the class we had. But I wont initiate anything if he doesnt. I will leave it wherever it goes after ive let him know who i was.

Thanks for the reminder I really am glad you said that!! You were just being practical and real. And the whole advice about not giving my heart is very true!

Itll be next week and I will post on here how it goes

 

[Thelema]

Soooooo. Did you say anything to him? Please say yes

 

[pinkputter]

If i saw him I would hope I'd be saying yes!

Our meeting was in a different location for this ONE week!

So I really hope I see him soon... the next planned time will be next week before the meeting again. I'm still gonna let you know what happens. I really hope it happens sooon before I think about it anymore!!!

 

[Thelema]

If i saw him I would hope I'd be saying yes!

Our meeting was in a different location for this ONE week!

So I really hope I see him soon... the next planned time will be next week before the meeting again. I'm still gonna let you know what happens. I really hope it happens sooon before I think about it anymore!!!

Go get him girl! Good luck 8)

 

[Joker]

Hey putter, I was actually in your posistion a few years ago. I hadn't dated ANYONE during high school and leading in to my sophomore year at college, because of SA and hyperhidrosis. Then during my sophomore year I met a girl who I thought was amazing. So I decided to go for it and get to know her better. Long story short, we've been married for just over two years now.

My advice to you would be to take things slow and simply get to know the guy. A combination of Thelema and Kinetiks' posts probably say it best. I wouldn't put on the full-court press just yet, but at the same time, regret sucks. Just take it slow, get to know him a little better, and see where it goes from there. :wink:

 

[pinkputter]

wow omg!!! Yall are married now!? That is the sweetest story Ive ever heard! And makes me want to marry this guy , haha , not really but he is honestly everything I admire about in guys, or people in general. I dont know that much though. I have mutual friends and from what I see with that I really really 'appreciate' i guess.

BUTTTT heres the update:

I usually saw him this time last year today , every week, and I got my friend to wait with me on this bench, well we weren't waiting, we were "studying" but I was hoping to see him there today. I know he has to have been there, but I guess i missed him!! Cause I never saw him!
I was so sad!!! But I will still be there the rest of the semester for what I have to go to, so I still have the chance to run into him.


We haven't had much one on one contact... like I said , we were in a group project together but all we talked about was stuff for the project. But Ive over heard his conversations with people in our class and he's just a great guy... And I think he's overheard convos I had with people around me... but that's all he knows about me. Oh and the only thing I said out loud in that class (it was 745 am so I hardly talked, o and I have SA so that might be why I didnt talk much!) But yeah one day I walked in late to class the day of our 2nd exam, and our prof. goes "Does anyone have any more questions about the test?" And I go "Yeah, could i GET a test...." Cause im looking around seeing people with their scantrons and white paper out.... and the prof goes "I havent passed them out..." He was asking if we had ?s before we took it..

lol that was a GREAT moment! haha Im sure he thought I was real cool. Thats why im like omg I dont even know if he thought that was dumb or just funny... and it doesnt matter ... but that being THE only thing hes heard me say outloud kinda makes me leary about talking to him! ANYWAYS..... LONG post. And thanks for the comments... Im still gonna update what happens

But just know it may be a while before i even see him! Hopefully sooner than later!!!

 

[samana]

totally go for it...there is nothing you can lose...if hes perfect, then he will love you too, and you will look back at this decision as the best in your life, and if he isnt, then atleast you know! And you will never have to doubt it, or look back in regret!