Should I go back to therapy for this?

[this_portrait]

I've been doing all right lately when it comes to SA. I've been getting involved on campus a lot more than I did last year, and that's causing me to talk to more people (still haven't gotten to where I've hung out with them more, but that might come up soon). SA doesn't seem to be as much of a problem for me as it was a few months ago.

There's just one area that I find it to be a problem, though.

And that area happens to be dating.

If you know me, you'll know that I'm absolutely clueless about dating. I have no clue how to even flirt or approach a guy who happens to be staring at me. I see other girls on campus, holding these guys' hands and kissing on them, and I wonder how the hell they even got there, and why is it so difficult for me to get there. . .

I'm also a little afraid to date, mainly because I just know that if I start doing it, I'll probably get through one date, and then I'll back out due to SA. It's happened before and it's likely to happen again. Of course, maybe if I actually liked the guy, I wouldn't back out. . .

So I was contemplating on whether or not I should go back to therapy for this reason. Part of me thinks it might help; part of me is embarrassed to go to therapy for this kind of reason; and part of me thinks that therapy will just be plain f*cking useless in this category, because I feel as if my therapist will just give me the same advice that everyone else has given me (which doesn't work, btw).

What do you guys think? Should I go back to therapy because I can't get a date? Or should I just forget about it?

 

[meatcake]

i think you should do therapy - i wish i had done more when i was younger. especially at college if they have free/cheap therapy available. i still had problems with relationships even after i finally managed to get into one, which took a lot of work to do.

 

[danstelter]

Therapy would probably be quite helpful for you. Although it is possible to do this on your own, things like this are generally much easier to learn with the help of a knowledgeable professional. I used to lack dating skill and feel the way that you do. What I learned is that the more that I worked on getting myself better, the easier and more natural it came. Eventually a relationship comes to everyone (much of what you see on campus is due to manipulation and seduction of other people) in time, and always to those who work on making themselves the best person possible. One thing I tried was online dating and that helped a little; otherwise, I joined various groups on campus and tried to meet people that way. I did meet people, but no one too interesting. It ended up that I found my current fiance online, or she found me to be more precise.

Finally, I always thought that relationships went or happened a certain way. What I learned is to let go of that belief and go with what life throws at me. So, if it isn't quite how you thought it would be or how it would happen, keep in mind that the only important thing is that it is happening.