shocked....

[Skyla]

this is weird. i was only browsing online to find some self help tips, lol. bare with this post, it is quite long, lol.
i feel its a bit sad, coming on some forum to talk and air my problems, but hey... :?
i havent actually been "diagnosed" as having social aniexty, although all the symptoms are there. i have to say its weird to come on here and see so many people who feel exactly the same as me talking about it. im only 18.
i get anxious in most situations. especially when dealing with the opposite sex. most of the time i feel alone, i have friends but only one real friend who luckly (or maybe not) goes through similar to what i go through. it wasnt long ag that i burst out crying and told my mum everything. i dont think she really understands. i think she just see's it as im shy and i just need to go out more. i do shut her out, so i cant blame her. its funny how i know she's there for me and she's been a brilliant mum, but she's da last person i feel i want to talk about this with....
anyways, i have been in therapy for about a year now which has opened my eyes to many things but it hasnt changed how i feel on da INSIDE. no point saying positive things if INSIDE you DONT really believe it is there? ive been thinking about trying cognitive therapy as my therapist isnt really doing anything for me now. she wont even diagnose me. is anyone on cognitive therapy? id like to hear more about it from a personal view...
thanks for reading... also, if anyone is getting better, what is you're doing...

 

[Bexi]

Hi Sklya, Welcome to SPW. Don't feel it's "sad" to air your problems on here! It's really helpful to alot of people to have somewhere to air them!

I have counselling once a week which has helped with my anxiety, it is a slow process, but then most things worth fighting for are, right? sadly, some family members or friends may be unable to understand SA because they may just see it as shyness, and therefore assume you have to just "get out there" and do something, even though the thought makes you feel ill
Some days are shit, some are good, do you think you may be depressed too? or anxious only? (not that that isnt enough to deal with)

As for cognitive, no I haven't tried it. Hope you return to this site xxx

 

[Skyla]

hi, thanks for replying! and for making me feel welcomed.
there are days i feel depressed and i wish i cud just run away to somewhere where no one knows me and just start fresh, even though i know dis is impossible because meeting new people, change and "starting fresh" scares da hell out of me.
i didnt even know there was such a thing called social aniexty. i always worry people are looking at me and judging me. i can never really relax. the only people i feel totally "me" around is my really good friend and my immediate family. when im with them its like everything goes away. i dont have to worry about how im being precived, i dont have to anaylse everything or "entertain."
im so scared to have a relationship even tho its something i really want. im so scared he'll "find out" i only really have one friend and that i dont go out much etc. so i only "want" a sexual relationship. that way i dont have to worry about getting to close or dating or anything thats involved in a relationship.
the therapy was good for me in the beginning. it made me aware of exactly what my problems are. although ive read talking to a therapist doesnt really help as you're just going over your problems rather than taking action n doing something about it. id love to try hypnotherapy or cognitive therapy. ive got to look for work soon which im really dreading. anyone else scared to work in an environment where everyone looks sociable, outgoing or confident?

 

[Bexi]

IF you meet a BF who is understanding and likes you for you, you shouldn't find it too hard to tell him what you are going through. Theapy night not be for you, as different techniques work for different people. SA ist something that is easy to overcome, sometimes I "make" myself do things that might seem abit scary in theory, but are OK when I do them, other days I just cannot do certain things.
I have worked in retail alot, as these were part time jobs while I was at colege, then uni etc, and alot of people were sociable and outgoing, but some people were also shy and quiet, I would just be me, and if people did not like it, stuff them! Do u work now?x

 

[IcanDoIt]

no point saying positive things if INSIDE you DONT really believe it is there? ive been thinking about trying cognitive therapy as my therapist isnt really doing anything for me now. she wont even diagnose me. is anyone on cognitive therapy? id like to hear more about it from a personal view...

people always whats the point, whats the point.

i used to think that way too..i was telling myself to be positive, be positive, and at times, i really could not feel positive.

this is where persistance comes in. u just gotta do it, fake it if u must, just keep doing constantly.

because, it is scientifically proven that the mind will follow what what you say, what you do, and what you are telling it to do..read about the sub consious mind.

u know, months ago, when i was in the process of overcoming SA, i was about 70% success, but i had this niggling thought that people were judging me based on the way i talk etc..

i had to constantly remind myself that it is not the case, i had to make my mind to think that way automatically when i spoke to somebody.

i also had to put up a fight to constantlly remind myself not to be bothered about people negative comments..

frankly, it was hard, it was uncomfortable, it was tiring, but relecting them now, it was all worth it.

i am not giving advises here, but i just want to share my experiences with u guys.

 

[Skyla]

thanks for all da advice! it's really nice to come here on and speak to people and hear advice from people who really understand.
im working at da mo and it is hard. da working is okay as there isnt much time to talk. however, when its break and closing up time, thats where the interaction takes place, so...
i am gonna try think positively and i understand it will take time. im gonna start looking for cognitive therapy as well now. da only problem? it costs money! lol.

 

[Bexi]

You have to pay for it?? Really? Do you know costs etc yet?

 

[Skyla]

from what i know you do. ive looked at specialist websites online and many of them charge. the cheapest i saw was £85 for each session! altho i wasnt doing intensive research, i was just generally looking at what cognitive therapy was.
i think its silly these things cost money. this is why many people cant get help. i understand people need to make money, but stil..

 

[dave1976]

anyone online