sexual obsessions/please help

[malcolm]

i'm a 28 year old man and i have ocd. i recently went back to work after taking a year off. it was good for 2 weeks and them my ocd symptoms came back. unfortunately i had to quit my new job. its hard for me to function day to day without having sexual obsessions happen all the time. i feel like people can read my mind and and know that i am thinking these awful thoughts. is that true? i feel like people look at me like i'm gross, disgusting and a monster.

one of thoughts i have is that everytime i have a bad thought i have to wash my brain to get it out.

i get so distraught with these thoughts that I isolate myself from everyone and stay in my apartment all day.

sometimes i get suicidal thoughts and i just can't deal with the ocd.

i hate that my families suffer b/c of me.

i realize that i will probably have this for the rest of my life. i really do want to get better. i pray to God that I can get through this. I hope my medication works and that i can go back to living a normal life.


im not a perfect person but i want to try to be perfect in Gods eyes. i am a born again Christian. Maybe this is a test from God to see how much i can take. if it is a test...its certainly a hard one. and i do not know if i am going to pass.

does anyone feel like i do? if you have any words that will help me please post them. i really need them today.

 

[paulmm]

First of all, let me start by saying that this is not a test from God. At least that is what I believe. I am an agnostic and I do not believe that God sends us tests to get through life. This is because there are no fundamental morals. Religion tells us that there are fundamental morals and that God tempts you to break morals to test your loyalty. To me, this is bullshit that feeds your OCD. If it helps, then believe it, but if it doesn't, then listen to this alternate hypothesis:

Us humans have extremely complex minds. The kind of complexity that has learned to manipulate atoms and molecules to build up this empire around us that can cure almost every disease we know of, etc. A tiny imbalance in chemistry or psychological stability can cause any number of psychiatric abnormalities. One of the most common yet most frustrating is OCD (it is ranked in the top 10 most debilitating mental illnesses).

OCD causes us to feel the need to complete thought processes. The completion of thought processes is not a natural human need, but people with OCD feel this need to the extreme. This need to complete thought processes becomes obsessions, especially with difficult thoughts. The intrusive thoughts are only a further part of this need. Compulsions are formed as substitutions for not completing a thought process, not justifying an obsession, etc.

Your intrusive thoughts are NOT God testing you (though maybe I'm wrong, I will never know), they are a slightly off balance brain trying to compensate.

 

[TooShyShy]

What are the thoughts? Is it about a woman at work or just random people you meet?

 

[getbornagain]

I have been battling HOCD for 1.5 yrs now and have realized that ERP is the only way to diffuse it. Today has been a funny ass day, I've been walking around saying "I'm gay, I love to suck cock, he's hot, etc." and the OCD is confused as hell. It doesn't know what to do LOL

 

[frogger]

It would help if we knew what your obsessions were exactly. I am currently in therapy for a difficult obsession that started about 3 years ago (when I was 19). I have had many obsessions before that, but this one is extremely hard to shake. Like you, I hate hurting my family but I constantly do when I suffer.

 

[getbornagain]

The tactic I started using today is fascinating. The OCD is struggling to make me struggle. I'll let you know if or WHEN I relapse....

 

[dpr]

i'm a 28 year old man and i have ocd. i recently went back to work after taking a year off. it was good for 2 weeks and them my ocd symptoms came back. unfortunately i had to quit my new job. its hard for me to function day to day without having sexual obsessions happen all the time. i feel like people can read my mind and and know that i am thinking these awful thoughts. is that true? i feel like people look at me like i'm gross, disgusting and a monster.

You may have it all your life, but you can learn to control it. As someone already said look into Exposure and Response Prevention and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. These are more effective than meds in my opinion. Meds didn't do anything for me. Not that they won't work for you, I'm just stating my opinion of them.

Most importantly, you're not bad or wrong. People can't read your thoughts and this isn't a test from god or any sort of punishment for things you've done wrong. It is a disorder and you can control it, you just need help to learn how. You should find a therapist you're comfortable with, and make sure he/she knows about ERP and CBT.