Sexual Banter

[blubs]

Hiya

This morning I was taking my dog out for a walk...and I had to walk past a group of men, who were fishing. They started chatting to me..in a friendly way. Then one caught a tiny fish and shouted at me.....

"HEY LUV......IS IT TRUE SIZE DOESN'T MATTER??!!"

So...Does anyone else find this kind of thing mortifying, not funny??
I get so nervous if I see a group of men I Know I'll have to walk past.

Are men like this the world over, or is it particularly English??

Any Thoughts?

Blubs

 

[fiona]

Well it depends who I am with but the women I work with are far worse than any men and have scared a couple of new women away! It doesnt bother me at work but it would with men I dont know as some men can be creepy

 

[blubs]

Hi Fiona

Thanks for your reply

I get just as nervous if it is women.....but I'm never in a place anymore where there is a big group of people and a lot of banter going on.
So I guess perhaps the difference is that men will just yell stuff at a woman on her own.

Any idea how to deal with it??

blubs

 

[maggie]

hey blubs, i would find that annoying as well :roll: ...i can never think of a clever comeback in the moment...so i would probably just choose to ignore it...act like i didn't hear anything

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hey blubs i know what you're talking about. one time i was walking to my room in a hotel and there were all these constuction workers on on the balcony and they were drinking (not yet drunk though) and laughing. they all get quiet when i walk up (of course my room had to be right next to them) and they were like "how you doing" polite and everything. then this one guy points to the other and said to me "don't worry, i'll keep this one away from ya" in a sexual way. i was also mortified and didn't say anything, just walked in my room.

however i've found myself sitting on buses or sitting in class perfering to sit next to a guy than a chick b/c overall, most guys don't do crap like that and of the two sexes, chicks tend to be more gossipy and pay more attention to people like what they're wearing, how they act, etc.

but yeah i don't know how to deal with it. i guess just threaten them with harrassment :wink:

 

[fiona]

I get nervous because of my hearing problem it is a hundred times worse if anyone has to repeat themselves especially if it's rude!! But best thing is to just laugh then change the subject or if you can think of something funny give as good as you get :wink:

 

[black_mamba]

This morning I was taking my dog out for a walk...and I had to walk past a group of men, who were fishing. They started chatting to me..in a friendly way. Then one caught a tiny fish and shouted at me.....

"HEY LUV......IS IT TRUE SIZE DOESN'T MATTER??!!"

So...Does anyone else find this kind of thing mortifying, not funny??
I get so nervous if I see a group of men I Know I'll have to walk past.

That sounded like a fairly innocent comment compared to some of the stuff I hear around my area. Something like that (unless it was shouted agressively) I would just smirk at and walk away.

But yeah, I feel very intimidated by large groups of men. And rightly so. If they're not screaming out some lewd comment they're beeping their horn or simply staring at you, having a conversation with their friend about how much you'd get out of 10. Makes me sick, they could at least hide the fact this goes on. :roll:

Funnily enough the comments stop completely when you appear to be male. I pulled it off one summer when I chopped all my hair off. :twisted:

 

[GettingThere]

There is a bit of a mars/venus thing operating through this thread.

Clearly we guys operate in a different manner - generally - to you girls. I have never quite understood why women get so uptight over suggestive comments from guys after they themselves speak to each other in lewd tones about guys and their experiences. I'm not knocking, just making an observation based on a lot of experience.

The mars/venus thing is real and I guess that women have certain behavioural stuff which guys detest too.

Having said that, I would add that for someone who suffers from SP it must be hard to deal with such attention from strangers. I extend my sympathy but I can't offer any advice in respect to handling it.

 

[black_mamba]

I have never quite understood why women get so uptight over suggestive comments from guys after they themselves speak to each other in lewd tones about guys and their experiences.

Your generalising about women. A lot of us find this sort of behaviour very threatening especially if we are on our own when it happens. I don't understand how you don't understand why this can be scary. 8O

 

[Angie_05]

The sexual comments from men don't always bother me. It really depends on the circumstances. Like if they are teenagers just trying to impress their friends by showing off their wonderful vocab skills, I just laugh at ignore it. I grew up with a group of 15 boys always hanging around my street and learned ignoring it is the best thing. When I tried to talk back, I got a lot more aggressive behavior.

If the men are grown, like 30+ years old, there is no excuse for it and it is scary. I'd ignore them too. I get this a lot when I am driving. It is really freaky when they pull up next to you at a stoplight and the window is down. I just turn up my music and act like they aren't worth my attention.

 

[blubs]

Hiya

I just wanted to say, firstly that I never meant this to be a mars/venus thing. I realise that the guy shouting at me was just trying to provoke a laugh and a bit of banter...thats why I called it 'sexual banter'...not 'evil sex insults'...or something! Its because I am terified of being the center of attention, I can't cope with it and so was looking for some tips..

So also I'd like to say that after reading your comments....I feel more able to cope with it..I think I can learn to ignore them or just smile.
I'll still be really nervous if I have to walk past a group of men, and I'll still probably get so self concious that I forget how to walk and do a funny hobble past!....But at least I won't beat myself up after for not knowing what to do...so a big THANKYOU everyone!

..who knows...maybe I'll be so not bothered I'll learn to shout back!...

..*blubs imagines scenario and tries really hard to think of a rude comeback!...

!!!!

..*blubs runs off and hides from Sexual Banter under a cushion!!...