Sensorimotor OCD, does anyone else have it? and help!

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jae millz

New member
hey whats doing im 17 i live in melbourne australia ive had really really bad sensorimotor ocd for more than five years now and its ruined my life. i used to be an A+ student, a national level sprinter and one of the popular kids at school, but the smocd forced me to quit as i just couldnt train anymore, and i now barely pass in school. i love sport so much but i cant play, i cant do anything i dont leave the house much apart from school. ima very out-going sociable person and ive been told im the funniest person alive by people, but the smocd makes me unable to socialise with anyone, i just cant be myself i cant talk or do anything. i just wanna be able to do whatever i want, whenever i want, to the best of my ability without having the smocd affecting me. i now have no true close friends, i feel so alone like no one understands the hell i am going through 24/7.

to describe what my problem is: breathing, as in im always thinking about it and cant stop paying attention to it and doing it, always trying to take a bigger and more complete breath thats feels right otherwise i feel really really uncomfortable; blinking, as in i cant stop thinking about it and i cant stop blinking constantly, like literally every 1 2 seconds; sometimes swallowing; fingers feel uncomfortable so i have to keep cracking them; armpits feel uncomfortable in a shirt; various parts of bosy feel uncomfortable and i need to scratch several times, usually both sides of body, like if one arm then other arm same part too; cant stop sniffling and thinking about it, same with clearing my throat, and lastly this is really hard to explain but i cant stop like tensing without meaning to? like i cant stop putting pressure if you know what i mean? this and the blinking and breathing are the worst, they are there every second of every day its a ****ing nightmare.

im in year 12 so i need to study but i cant concentrate and i have no energy, i really need help im so desperate i pray every night, its all ill ever want, my only wish, just for it to go away. i just wanna start and live my life with the smocd gone forever, please help me! im seeing a psychologist but we just talk, we havent done anything to help me really, i want to try erp and cbt and anything that will help! and im on lovan but it doesnt really help that much, i have some good days occasionally, but usually its ****. at school every recess and lunch and even during class i got to the toilets to try to make myself feel right but it doesnt work and the rest of my day is ****, i just keep my head down and go into my shell as it gets so bad i cant socialise with anyone. the longest ive ever gone without the smocd has been five hours about a month ago, but i have been unable to repeat that as yet. im trying really hard to find ways to beat it because im fed up i just wanna live.

i felt really alone when i first googled ocd because it was the closest sounding thing to what i had, but it wasnt the same, i didnt do or feel any of the things that were in the common symptoms. recently i delved deeper to be more specific about my ocd but ive only found the ocd chicago article which is amazing, and everything dr. steven seay has written. it feels really good to know im not alone and that others are going through the same **** and understand what im feeling. to anyone else going through this **** hit me up ! :) sorry for the huge ****ing post my bad, this is just some straight from the heart emotional ****. i just really wanna be able to do whatever i want, whenever i want, to the best of my ability without the smocd affecting me. so is there anyone else here that has the same problem?
 
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ohheybbyitscorixx

Well-known member
jae millz said:
hey whats doing im 17 i live in melbourne australia ive had really really bad sensorimotor ocd for more than five years now and its ruined my life. i used to be an A+ student, a national level sprinter and one of the popular kids at school, but the smocd forced me to quit as i just couldnt train anymore, and i now barely pass in school. i love sport so much but i cant play, i cant do anything i dont leave the house much apart from school. ima very out-going sociable person and ive been told im the funniest person alive by people, but the smocd makes me unable to socialise with anyone, i just cant be myself i cant talk or do anything. i just wanna be able to do whatever i want, whenever i want, to the best of my ability without having the smocd affecting me. i now have no true close friends, i feel so alone like no one understands the hell i am going through 24/7.

to describe what my problem is: breathing, as in im always thinking about it and cant stop paying attention to it and doing it, always trying to take a bigger and more complete breath thats feels right otherwise i feel really really uncomfortable; blinking, as in i cant stop thinking about it and i cant stop blinking constantly, like literally every 1 2 seconds; sometimes swallowing; fingers feel uncomfortable so i have to keep cracking them; armpits feel uncomfortable in a shirt; various parts of bosy feel uncomfortable and i need to scratch several times, usually both sides of body, like if one arm then other arm same part too; cant stop sniffling and thinking about it, same with clearing my throat, and lastly this is really hard to explain but i cant stop like tensing without meaning to? like i cant stop putting pressure if you know what i mean? this and the blinking and breathing are the worst, they are there every second of every day its a ****ing nightmare.

im in year 12 so i need to study but i cant concentrate and i have no energy, i really need help im so desperate i pray every night, its all ill ever want, my only wish, just for it to go away. i just wanna start and live my life with the smocd gone forever, please help me! im seeing a psychologist but we just talk, we havent done anything to help me really, i want to try erp and cbt and anything that will help! and im on lovan but it doesnt really help that much, i have some good days occasionally, but usually its ****. at school every recess and lunch and even during class i got to the toilets to try to make myself feel right but it doesnt work and the rest of my day is ****, i just keep my head down and go into my shell as it gets so bad i cant socialise with anyone. the longest ive ever gone without the smocd has been five hours about a month ago, but i have been unable to repeat that as yet. im trying really hard to find ways to beat it because im fed up i just wanna live.

i felt really alone when i first googled ocd because it was the closest sounding thing to what i had, but it wasnt the same, i didnt do or feel any of the things that were in the common symptoms. recently i delved deeper to be more specific about my ocd but ive only found the ocd chicago article which is amazing, and everything dr. steven seay has written. it feels really good to know im not alone and that others are going through the same **** and understand what im feeling. to anyone else going through this **** hit me up ! :) sorry for the huge ****ing post my bad, this is just some straight from the heart emotional ****. i just really wanna be able to do whatever i want, whenever i want, to the best of my ability without the smocd affecting me. so is there anyone else here that has the same problem?
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Well, I've had OCD since I was 6. More severe compulsions when I was 10-11. I have various compulsions that change sometimes. The ones that usually have always stuck with me are pulling out my hair, picking at my skin, clearing my throat, cracking my knuckles, moving from side to side when sitting, breathing in REALLY deep, writing lists, and having to fix my clothing and hair over and over. So, I guess I do have some of what you are talking about. My OCD effects my ability to be social a lot. There are only 2 people in my life who didn't straight up look at me like I'm nuts when I revealed my compulsions. I used to do compulsions about 7-8 hours a day for years. Now, it fluctuates between 30 minutes a day to 3 hours. The number one thing that has helped me is having a support system. If people ever put you down for having OCD, they will only be a trigger. I've also found that not fighting against your OCD helps some people. If you are constantly telling yourself to not do compulsions, you are thinking about them and will most likely end up doing them. Distraction is a must for most people. If you ever need to talk, you can message me. I'm not on this site everyday, but I try to come on at least 2-3 times a week.
 
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jae millz

New member
ohheybbyitscorixx said:
Well, I've had OCD since I was 6. More severe compulsions when I was 10-11. I have various compulsions that change sometimes. The ones that usually have always stuck with me are pulling out my hair, picking at my skin, clearing my throat, cracking my knuckles, moving from side to side when sitting, breathing in REALLY deep, writing lists, and having to fix my clothing and hair over and over. So, I guess I do have some of what you are talking about. My OCD effects my ability to be social a lot. There are only 2 people in my life who didn't straight up look at me like I'm nuts when I revealed my compulsions. I used to do compulsions about 7-8 hours a day for years. Now, it fluctuates between 30 minutes a day to 3 hours. The number one thing that has helped me is having a support system. If people ever put you down for having OCD, they will only be a trigger. I've also found that not fighting against your OCD helps some people. If you are constantly telling yourself to not do compulsions, you are thinking about them and will most likely end up doing them. Distraction is a must for most people. If you ever need to talk, you can message me. I'm not on this site everyday, but I try to come on at least 2-3 times a week.
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I have the clearing my throat and the breathing one, and yeah I know how hard it is. God bless you, I'll be praying for you, I don't want anyone to have to go through this hell. I haven't told anyone exept my mum and the psychologists, I don't want them to remind me of it, I rather keep it to myself and make excuses when they notice.

My compulsions are all day, like every second of every day, I don't know what people mean when they say periods of time like an hour or two or whatever, for me its always there? Yeah I heard that trying not to think about it doesnt work, just makes you think about it. I need to try distraction definently.

Thanks heaps for responding to this, really appreciate it.:) Do you have facebook?
 
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ohheybbyitscorixx

Well-known member
jae millz said:
I have the clearing my throat and the breathing one, and yeah I know how hard it is. God bless you, I'll be praying for you, I don't want anyone to have to go through this hell. I haven't told anyone exept my mum and the psychologists, I don't want them to remind me of it, I rather keep it to myself and make excuses when they notice.

My compulsions are all day, like every second of every day, I don't know what people mean when they say periods of time like an hour or two or whatever, for me its always there? Yeah I heard that trying not to think about it doesnt work, just makes you think about it. I need to try distraction definently.

Thanks heaps for responding to this, really appreciate it.:) Do you have facebook?
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You're very welcome. Just a few years ago, I was doing the throat clearing and breathing compulsions all day. People would look at me and whisper, which made me do it more. I've figured out that finding your triggers can help a lot. Like....one of mine are whenever I'm trying to sleep at night, I tend to do the breathing. So, now I try and do things like open the window or meditate before bed so I am more relaxed. Compulsions that involve the body, in my opinion, are harder to stop. I write lists and I can ignore the paper and pen. It's hard, but I can get away from it. But you always do things like breathe, move, so on. My best of luck to you on your journey! Always remember to not stress yourself too much for not being "normal" (whatever that is :p). People can accept you...compulsions or not!
 
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ahdil33

New member
Hey man

Hmm I'm 17 and I live in Australia too...Sydney though. I had my sensorimotor OCD get real bad a while back, and it was consuming my life, making me feel horrible. It's really tough.

However, I've had OCD before, years back, when I did my research and was able to use the correct strategies to overcome it. I didn't realise this was the same deal in a different form, but it is. I came across two links which are absolutely brilliant, mentioned above I think...

When Automatic Bodily Processes Become Conscious: How to Disengage from "Sensorimotor Obsessions" | OCD Chicago

Sensorimotor OCD Obsessions & Compulsions (Swallowing, Breathing)
For steve's one, there's three parts, I recommend reading all of them.

I don't know how much of a background you have with OCD, so it might take you a while to understand what you need to do.

My sensorimotor OCD, blinking, breathing, whatever else was there just doesn't annoy me much anymore. I'm still working on it, but I'm feeling 100x better than what I was just a couple of months ago. You might feel really bad now, but KNOW, if you're willing to put in the effort to get better, you WILL get better. You can have your life back, and more, better than it was before.

For any advice, drop me a PM or email, or just post here, will answer any questions you have ;)
 
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Jimbo100

New member
Hi,
I have this same issue (mostly blinking, but occassionally breathing). Wanted to try out the exposure exercises on the links Adhil33 posted but am worried that the more i expose myself to the problem the worst it will get.
If anyone has had success with these exposure methods I would really appreciate some feedback.

Thanks

Jim
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Hey Jae.....You poor thing! I know what you're going through. Thank God mine is not as bad and only limited to my eyes and nothing else. My OCD has also ruined my social life.
I've been on prozac for a couple of weeks (20mg). So far, no results. But, I am hopeful. Try to hang in there. You seem to have it really rough. Even I can barely hold on.
 
OCDd

OCDd

Well-known member
aww man, thats a shame man, i know how you feel. my heart goes out to you man. if i could, i would take this on for you. my whole life has been kinda lame and ive had to deal with a lot of conflicting emotions and weird mental illness and i would definitely live with your smocd, so you dont have to. i wish i could, i know it really does suck. actually i wasnt sure at first so i looked it up and i have that type of ocd too. my ocd is a little different and i have this fear of mentally and physically contaminating objects, thoughts, and acts with regret. like if im contaminated i have a fear of contaminating color, words, the act of looking at a house and stuff so its really weird, but i do know what your talking about and i have had that but not to the extent you have, and i give you credit for keeping a better attitude than i have, cause i know....IT SUCKS! for me its like checking pulse to make sure i dont have a heart attack, checking how often i swallow and i worry that my swallowing pattern is abnormal and can lead to me throwing up. Not to make you worried about this because i dont think you mentioned this and i dont want to add this to yours but i hate that you can see your nose in you peripheral vision. haha sorry, i kinda started focusing on my problems, not yours, sorry about that. I just had to get past that by saying, this is crazy no ones even pays attention to this besides me, i obviously am doing all of these things at the normal level. usually i will forget about it and not remember. but dude keep praying, God is with you, keep him close to you, he will help you and guide you through life, i will also pray for you too. Hope this helped, i know im not that good at giving advice but i did my best. God Bless you! wish their was something else i could do, if it makes you feel any better, *air hug from a long way away* :)
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
OCDd. You have it really tough too. I once thought I had lice and could give it to everyone. Our minds are like spider webs, we catch the nastiest thought creatures. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!
 
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