sugarplum1
Member
For some reason, my office job (or any office job that I've had), I feel like it’s “hard work” to keep up the social aspect of it (I found I am both an introvert AND extrovert where I totally crave to talk to others).. I have been SO distrusting of coworkers in the past since I”ve been severely burned.. and I have a tendency to either 1) overshare OR 2) undershare.. There is a delicate balanace that I feel I am not even coming NEAR to mastering, but I so desperately want to). I have days where I don’t say anything but casual ‘hi!’ or ‘byes’ and in my head Im thinking “I’m so shy” / “they need to talk to me first cause I don’t know what to say/don’t feel worthy” .. I feel like it’s work to discover what I have in common with coworkers..and I’m also afraid to share about myself. I tend to isolate myself and find a problem with the other person.
There are bouts where I am sarcastic and am myself… but most of the time, I’m focused on “I’m shy” or “they need to talk to me first”. . I feel like I hardly have anything in common w/these people and also, have ingrained that coworkers are never to be trusted. It was my fault that I overshared w/my boss about my social anxiety about a year ago, and now I know never to share that w/ any employer/employee again.
I will be putting in my 2 weeks soon since I will be moving to a different state. I am already picturing myself working at “X” office in the new state (the names just changes but my mind still ticks in the same way) that : “it’s okay if they see me as shy, this is work not fun” (but if they don’t KNOW me, they can’t trust me, and really, office politics exist, and they are always in full force). I am not a quiet person in general (I’m VERY bubbly and cheery, and it’s obvious whilst talking to customers) but around coworkers, I’m always so scared to share about myself OR the fact that I’m undersharing at times. I hate how some coworkers are just interested in competing with each other, instead of actually listening to each other. It’s the automatic thoughts that “I am shy” or “I hate talking about myself to coworkers” is what makes me so miserable. .. Someone please help! I’m trying to deconstruct my thoughts but I am still confused and sad about this.
Thanks for reading!
There are bouts where I am sarcastic and am myself… but most of the time, I’m focused on “I’m shy” or “they need to talk to me first”. . I feel like I hardly have anything in common w/these people and also, have ingrained that coworkers are never to be trusted. It was my fault that I overshared w/my boss about my social anxiety about a year ago, and now I know never to share that w/ any employer/employee again.
I will be putting in my 2 weeks soon since I will be moving to a different state. I am already picturing myself working at “X” office in the new state (the names just changes but my mind still ticks in the same way) that : “it’s okay if they see me as shy, this is work not fun” (but if they don’t KNOW me, they can’t trust me, and really, office politics exist, and they are always in full force). I am not a quiet person in general (I’m VERY bubbly and cheery, and it’s obvious whilst talking to customers) but around coworkers, I’m always so scared to share about myself OR the fact that I’m undersharing at times. I hate how some coworkers are just interested in competing with each other, instead of actually listening to each other. It’s the automatic thoughts that “I am shy” or “I hate talking about myself to coworkers” is what makes me so miserable. .. Someone please help! I’m trying to deconstruct my thoughts but I am still confused and sad about this.
Thanks for reading!
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