Self harm

[Neebo]

Sometimes I get really frustrated and pissed off with myself because of my SA/SP :x Sometimes when I do,I have a tendency to self harm myself Its just things like cutting and slashing myself with Knives or scissors. Last year I went a little bit further than cutting myself. I was coming back from an important errand and I was just having negative responses from people,like fake coughs and sniffs and I even thought everyone was laughing at me and critizing me I was having a really bad day that day :x Anyway when I got home I was so angry with myself for the way I felt I got a hammer and I beat my legs black and blue,I was just so angry with myself infact I hated myself :evil: After about five very hard hits I collapsed in agony infact I thought I'd actually broken my legs. The next day I had two massive,nasty looking bruises on my thighs where I'd hit them repeatedly. I could barely stand for a few days afterwards,it was agony to walk. But at the time I was just so frustrated and angry with myself,that I hated myself and I had to find some way of releasing that inner,pent up frustration And by doing that through pain,it felt like a good release I know it was a crazy,fucked up thing to do,but at the time I just had so much inner anger inside me that became so unbearable that I just had to find a way of releasing it. Can anyone here relate to how I feel?

 

[jerim]

yeah i only experience this ... i think alot of here goes through this.I have a different way beside hurting myself.Try to get yourself occupied...i like u get miserable lately.. u just have this feeling suppressed and wanted to let it all out.I have been very easily frustrated and angry lately so i try to keep away from my family member.I feel that dont hurt yourself.. cos u are hurting them as well so refrain from hurting yourself.You dont want ur parents hurt also right?

 

[outside_looking_in]

I had a friend (lost touch now) who cut her arms for years, as well as being bulimic and having major issues with her mum; she was helped a lot by CBT and last I knew she was getting things together.

I just used my nails! ... clawed my arms so much I had rows of little lines (that's when I didn't have infected eczema), and on every home video you see me scratching away frantically. But I managed to get out of that ... and I know it's not on the same scale as Neebo's situation ... you tried a punchbag or something? sounds like you need to externalise all that frustration, but safely!!

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

usually I bite or scratch myself, but sometimes I use other sharp objects.

 

[Tirta]

Once i use pen to hurt my self (sometimes i used my nail too), when i feel really scare and angry (because i don't understand why i was so scare) i hurt myself.[/u]

 

[ColdFury]

Really people, cutting yourself won't do anything. Just think about 10 years from now when your life finally seems to be "normal" but your scars won't go away? You'll have those physical marks forever, and for what? For venting when you were younger? It's not worth it.

What makes you think things will be normal 10 years from now? Its the only way we can cope with things.

 

[Hellraising]

Oh god, Neebo. Please don't do that again. You could really injure yourself. Self harming is not the way to deal with things, even when things go horribly wrong and you feel that hurting yourself is the only way. Maybe you could try venting your anger and frustrations on something else? Like for example, punching inanimate objects, or simply just letting the tears out. I know it's really hard not to take the 'easy way' out at times, but do try your best.

 

[rfnatboy]

I used to punch my arms and legs . Id have bruises all over and the pain did temporaley overcome my mental pain .

 

[black_mamba]

I think social phobia is a form of mental self harm.

But yeah, physical self harm can temporarily relieve some anger.

I tried stopping myself from 'indulging' in it recently but I think that made me brush some emotions under the carpet. I erupted today when I punched a desk with my knuckles.

Its no good, I need to change the way I deal with things that upset me rather than simply trying to hide it from other people. *sigh*

 

[blue]

when i embaress myself or have a bad experience i harm myself usually with a knife on the top of my arm or somewere i think it will go unnoticed it hurts like hell but it makes me feel so much better.

 

[thugaveli]

I could easily slash my arms up with all the stress that builds up inside me but i picture all the scars it would leave and how nasty looking it would be

I just take my stress out on exercise or the punch bag!

Its so easily done though self halm, sometimes theres no alternative than to halm yourself, theres times where i just feel like being beat up it just sounds crazy but...... oh well

 

[SuicidalChick]

I use to self harm by cutting my arms with a knife,but for some reason i just stopped.

Whenever i embarass myself in social situations i tend to punish myself mentally,which is just as bad because it creates a cycle that just carries on. I tell myself how stupid i am and how people must think im totally pathetic

 

[believesomething]

Any of the (usually free) lifeline / suicide / etc phone help-lines will gladly take a call from anyone considering harming themselves, in any fashion.

These lines are almost always staffed by caring, compassionate people, who are usually volunteers (in Australia, if not everywhere), and who are very good at listening to anyone in any state. It doesn't matter how much or little you have to say.

I know it means making a phone call, and that can be a challenge to many. I know it means talking to a stranger too. But when things are bad enough to hurt yourself, please consider making the call first. You'll thank yourself later, when you're out of the moment and things aren't quite so bad.

 

[blubs]

Hi Everyone
I'm really shocked by this topic 8O

I don't have any experience of this...so maybe I shouldn't comment on it?
Except that it makes me feel so sad that any of you would harm yourselves in that way
Is it the only way you have found to get rid of all your negative emotions?
sometimes I get so frustrated and feel my emotions building up. I get angry and feel like I could smash things up. When I feel like this...all I can do is go running....until I'm too physically tired to feel that way.
Maybe its different :? ....but I wish you could find other ways to get your emotions down to a bearable level.
blubsx

 

[despise]

i used to self harm...im not sure what made me stop. i used to cut myself every second night, if not, then more. then i just stopped. i noticed a huge change in my emotions, almost instantly. i would always be more angry and alot more sensitive. i would always have arguments with my family, which would end in tears - not only from me but them aswell. it wasnt fair to bring them down with me so i tried cutting again, and it just felt so wrong. i could'nt do it anymore.
i know how much it makes you feel better at the time...but finding something else to take frustration out on is very important. i was staring at my legs last night for a very long time.. counting the scars and wondering if they would ever go away. i also had a dream that my brother came in and saw all the scars. i was so upset that he had found out and i was trying to cover them up but the damage was already done. i really hurt him. i know it was only a dream. but it scared me alot.
scares are a perminant reminder of the pain we once felt. they will never go away, but the pain will.
if you really truly are wanting to stop and change how you release anger, try some of the suggestions stated above, like screaming into a pillow, getting a punching bag or just simply punching your mattress.
to those who are unwilling to change and stop harming themselves, you will feel much better about yourself, you will get a feeling of achieving something great. because it really is.

 

[Faded]

ya, same here i self harm as well!

i started to cut at the age 14, i cudnt deal with my emotions ,filled with frustration n' anger .. the best way 4 me to feel better was to cut my wrist! i use a razer! :roll: rite now during the summer holiday i started to cut less cuz my mum saw my wrist filled with scars at the swimming pool Well ya my mum saw my wrist before tht when i was sleeping .. i used to always wear long sleeved t-shirts .. i was aware of anyone noticing my bizarre actions! She told me how stupid i am to act like a mule!!

I always think of cutting back .. cuz yet i cant deal my emotions! I feel like bursting out!

 

[ColdFury]

Any of the (usually free) lifeline / suicide / etc phone help-lines will gladly take a call from anyone considering harming themselves, in any fashion.

These lines are almost always staffed by caring, compassionate people, who are usually volunteers (in Australia, if not everywhere), and who are very good at listening to anyone in any state. It doesn't matter how much or little you have to say.

I know it means making a phone call, and that can be a challenge to many. I know it means talking to a stranger too. But when things are bad enough to hurt yourself, please consider making the call first. You'll thank yourself later, when you're out of the moment and things aren't quite so bad.

They have nothing helpful or useful to say.

 

[Fredscars]

my arms and legs are covered with the scars i gained. Theyre mostly pretty small..ones that i did before an anxiety attack with needles, scissors and my nails. I have a large one on the top of my right arm, on the bicep when i just got a pair of scissors and stabbed myself. I never used to make them bleed badly, just until the skin was raw. I have some on my legs too, from when i used to be scared of people seeing them.
i'm clumsy, so i used to tell people i just fell over ..no idea if they believe me.
I dont do it any more, i simply found that, yes it was relieving at the time, but the next day it just added physical pain on top of the mental one. I used to see it as a way to punish myself for being the way i was. I've stopped simply because everytime i picked up something sharp, id force myself to put it down. after a while it worked

Please dont hurt yourself, i know how tempting it can be, how tempting suicide can be, but how will you ever know if you can beat this if you let go now? Hurting yourself just causes more problems.
xxx

 

[Sue]

cutting or scratching yourself is the easy part. its the emotions that are hard to deal with. i always felt good digging my nails into my arm. but now im just left with a scar. it reminds me of what happened to me and i dont regret it but il never do it again. it was the easy way out (4 me anyway) and i always give myself more credit when i remember that i get through the emotional hurt instead.its alot harder but far more rewarding.