Self-Esteem: Do You Love Yourself?

savage_beagle

Well-known member
Self-Esteem: Do You Love Yourself?
By: Jeff Cohen
Aug 1, 2006, 13:28





Amazing how we are bound to each other. Our daily activities with the people in our lives affect our outlook on our own individuality. In the beginning, we already have a sense-of-self, of what we are capable of and what we can do. As we progress with this knowledge, our relations with other people tend to affect our self-esteem.

Self-esteem is based on our self-evaluation. Our decisions depend on the choices we make and this is affected by our judgment. All these add up on how we perceive ourselves. We critique and regard ourselves to a certain extent until we come to a concept of who we are. This is self-esteem. This is how we know ourselves.

Psychologist Nathaniel Branden said that self-esteem includes two components: self-confidence and self-respect.

No man is an island. Whenever he goes out of his home, he deals with others. A person’s confidence is affected by his society. Those who are confident know who they are, even among a number of strangers. However, there are those who easily become insecure when they compare themselves to others. A person must learn how to stand on his (or her) own and stand tall at the same time. As long as he is not doing anybody harm, then there is no reason for him to feel inferior to his fellows. Dealing with society cannot be generalized because people have all their own ways of handling confidence and insecurity.
It is important that parents teach confidence to their children at a young age. Take note that it must be the right amount of confidence. Too much can mold arrogant children who think they are superior to everyone. Too little can result to children who are bullied. It is the parent’s task to instill in their children’s mind that confidence comes from within and is an attitude to others. It is the perfect mix of not letting yourself get stepped on and at the same time not stepping on other people as well.

When self-confidence is achieved, self-esteem follows. The person then figures out that he is a worthy human person and will not bend for others to let them have it their way. He knows when to compromise and when to fight for what he thinks is right. With a confidence based on the solid belief, self-esteem is pumped up.

Do not mistake self-esteem by the approval of others. Insecure individuals have to be commended by their friends in order for them to know who they are. This is not self-esteem but a sign of weakness. Self-esteem, like self-confidence, must also come from within.

Too much self-esteem is also a problem because the person will be narcissistic and self-centered. He will insist to always have his way. Again, a balance must be achieved. One must know his worth simultaneously as he knows the other’s worth. In philosophy, this is depicted by the Self and the Other. The Self is in constant relation with the Other and their actions affect one another. Self-esteem is good for the Self because it helps him to become a confident individual who is ready to face life’s challenges. However, if he is too much into himself, then he will hurt the Other.

We need self-esteem because it impacts various aspects of our lives. Our emotions, desires, values, choices and goals are rooted on our self-esteem. People who have low self-esteem tend to have psychological problems.------http://www.solveyourproblem.com/artman/publish/article_819.shtml
 

maggie

Well-known member
i like the person that i am on the inside...it's just my inability to show who i really am outwardly..to anyone else... that frustrates me :roll:
 

Jack-B

Well-known member
Noticing that we are not 'our self' when we are anxious helps to not identify with anxiety, which is a state of mind.

Around others anxiety creeps in so we see our world in a crazy way, like being drugged, we believe "this is me" so we develop a bad image of our self.

Jack
 

savage_beagle

Well-known member
change your thinking for the better.

LittleMissScareAll: maybe it is now time to try something different...like learning to like and love yourself. It is in your thinking, of what you have accepted long ago of what you can and cannot do, who you can and will not be. Change your thoughts about yourself , slowly start to wipe away all the bad, hurtful things people said to you in the past, and replace them with positive reinforcement about who you really are. I saw the photo you posted on here(without the makeup), and you seem like a beautiful girl. I also read the things you write, and i sense you are a a very loving and good person, just someone who is deeply hurt and lonely. Does the makeup help you to mask your pain? If so, would you like to take off your mask and be loved and accepted? It will all start with you loving and accepting yourself, and that only comes when the distorted thinkings and beliefs about yourself change. What i had read once was this....think of your mind in this way= a tall glass of cloudy, dirty water. How do you make the water clean and clear? You start by little by little, adding fresh , clean pure water to the original glass...so as you fill it, it displaces the filthy water and there is no more room for nothing except the good and clean water. That is what you should try doing with your mind...start filling your head (mind) with positivity, love , optimism, hope...tell yourself that what is in the past is in the past and move onward with clear visions of yourself succeeding and enjoying life. WHAT YOU THINK IS WHAT YOU GET, SO MAKE IT A GREAT THOUGHT. .......dont give up on your life, it has meaning and do whatever it takes to improve your situation.
 

LittleMissScareAll

Well-known member
Re: change your thinking for the better.

thanks beagle...it's not that easy though.
I don't wear makeup to mask my pain, I wear it because I like it and it makes me look better.
 

LittleMissScareAll

Well-known member
Me too, I especially hate my personality though :( I just wish I could be somebody else...I wish I could make myself be a completely different person.
 

savage_beagle

Well-known member
create your own personality.

LittleMissScareAll---
''Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 12:16 am Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

''Me too, I especially hate my personality though I just wish I could be somebody else...I wish I could make myself be a completely different person. ''----------------------------------------------------------- First step is to stop saying you hate yourself, especially if you say it out loud or give off vibes that you hate yourself....cuz you will set in motion how others think and treat you. If you dont like and or respect yourself, you cant expect others to think of you any differently. You can change certain ways or behaviors you dislike about yourself, but only with real determination. Laziness can be changed, rudeness, procrastination, worriness, sarcasm....anything can be changed as long as you try and really want to be a changed person. LITTLE MISS, do you consider yourself a boring person? IF so, then you immerse yourself in things that you are interested in, and you make yourself an interesting person along the way. Join a music club, arts, books, culture....its unlimited of what we humans create to amuse ourselves. How about showing interest in others...help out at an animal shelter or at your local childrens hospital, seniors citizens home/homeless-foodbank help centers. WE are all born babies, with no personalities...our personalities only develope as we grow and experience the things in our lives that look so interesting to us that we cant resist being a part of it. SO TO THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL WITH THE MAKEUP, start somewhere.....build a personality based on your interests and passions...be true to yourself. Dont deny yourself joy just because you say it is ''hard''. You think life is supposed to be easy? LOOK around little girl...there is real real suffering in this world....people suffering extreme pains....you have pain in your mind that maybe you created and linger onto . LET IT GO, and create the life you want.
 

Tala

Member
Another one here who doesnt like themselves, i wish to god i could be someone else, someone who doesnt have so much difficulty with living life. I really do hate myself.
 

savage_beagle

Well-known member
dont hate yourself, think it over.

hmmmmm....when you get to know people, get interested in their lives...and you start to talk to them about personal stuff...the real person comes out. In my life, very often i talk to aqaintances and they eventually start to talk about personal problems. When the joking subsides and you start to feel very comfortable with each other, it is then that person starts to confide in you his/her personal feelings. It is then the the guard is let down, and when that person trusts you, they confide their fears and failures, inadequacies. Many people i met have confided in me their personal stories of those things i mentioned (including their sex lives), as i have been told that i possess a certain way about me that people approach me and trust me with thier personal experiences. I am including in that group=homeless people, junkies, older relatives, co-workers, strangers i just met...you be very surprised at who and how many. I have been told that i can have a very calming effect on some, and they like that i listen and respond with good feedback...truth is, i care about people..a lot. OK, i am babbling about myself and i didnt intend for that. What i am getting too, is that people wear a false mask of happiness and self confidence, but when you show interest in them and show you are not going to hurt or reject them...they spill the beans and let you know that (GASPPPPP), their life is imperfect and they have some kind of mental pain. ASK yourself, those that posted in here about hating themselves and wanting to be somebody else..'' anyone live a perfect and wonderful life, free of pain and misery???"'. IF YOU think that there is, then you are just a big ignorant fool. Why do some people turn to hard drugs and alcohol? ITS to escape from reality..to escape from themselves. WHY do we hear about famous people , rich people, ''the perfect-have everything couple'', who may live in lavish homes with expensive cars and the best of everything, commit suicide? They also felt emotional pain in their own way, and decided it was easier to just die and be done with all. They are gone, dead, kaput, see-ya-buh bye, and then forgotten. What if everyone of those person instead just made a real effort to confront their problems in life and solve them or make peace with them instead? You can hate yourself as much as you want and never get anything or anyone in life...have a shitty job, be broke, etc. OR, you can stop being a lazy shithead and work on solving your problems till you are happier, but again, not perfect. Stop comparing yourself to other people and think they have wonderful perfect lives, because nobody does. Stop watching bullshit tv shows and movies, fake ass ''reality'' shows, where they give you the illusion of happy, confident people with unblemished skin and perfect white teeth and great hair. THAT is all about making money for actors and producers(and corporations)...its a huge crock of shit that distorts our thinking from reality..which is you are born, luckly if born in good health, you live an average life, you age and maybe get a disease and then die. If you hate life and hate yourself, then do something about, and i dont mean to be an asshole and commit suicide, go and think good thoughts and put them into action of what you want to be and where in life. OR, you can sulk and whine and no genie in a bottle gonna appear and give you 3 wishes. Just do what needs to be taken cared of and start the ball rolling in the direction you want to be at. FIRST STEP is change your mind...look inside your mind and ask yourself what really bothers you and you will have all your questions answered from within..you always know the answer to every problem you think you have, always. IF you always do the same thing over and over..you get the same results...so look at what needs to be changed and try different approaches until you reach whatever goal you want. You get what you think, you think what you want, you become what you think. :wink:
 

Emma

Well-known member
I hate myself, I'm stupid, ugly, no-one likes me, I guess I'm so awful I deserve to die, I wonder why I'm still here when I'm not serving any purpose...I know I'll be better off without this life....it sucks
 
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