Scared to see my own family and friends

[randomguy19]

Hello Everyone,

Awesome site... Glad I found you guys... Now, my issue has been bothering me for about 6-7 years. It all started when I became addicted to the computer. An old friend of mine taught me a lot about the computer so from there I became addicted and dedicated all my time to it. I had little friends and I was only social in school. On a family get together, I just didn't go and thats where it all started. I don't recall the reason but I do think it's because I felt that I had to impress them somehow. Here I am 7 years later and I haven't gone to one family event. I fear it. I fear what they think. I feel that now I've been gone so long that they don't even remember me, like I'm no longer apart of their family. I don't talk to my family much anymore either. I know I have SP. There are tons of social situations that I FEAR.Not only is it with my family but also with certain friends that I haven't seen for awhile. But this is one of the worse and I just want to be able to see my family and not worry what they think of me. Not only is it with my family but also with certain friends that I haven't seen for awhile.

If you have any questions please ask
Any input is appreciated!

 

[thequietone]

hey randomguy, I can relate to the not wanting to see people who are supposed to be your friends. My family, though, they're the only people I'm comfortable around. So my question is: were you ever very close with your family?
I don't have many friends. But the few that stuck around, I'd really rather not see. I can't explain it. They aren't mean. I just feel inadequate around them and it seems like a burden to hang out. I know having friends isn't supposed to feel this way. I don't understand if it's because I'm afraid or annoyed. I feel guilty for ignoring old friends, but then I wonder, why should I let guilt dictate my relationships? Shouldn't I be able to do what I want? I don't want to have friends. But I do WANT to want friends, if that makes any sense....
randomguy--I know that feeling, when it's been a long time since you've seen a person, you feel like, why break the pattern? It's almost like meeting a new person and that can be scary. I might suggest talking to your family on the phone first, easing into it if reconnecting is what you think you need.