Scared ****less of college.

[Social_Monstrosity]

I graduated high school last Spring and by now I SHOULD be in college but I'm taking a year off of school to try to unwind a bit. Call me weak-willed all you want but high school was hell for me (as I am sure it also was for many of you on this site) and I'm still recovering from it.

Nevertheless I'm still scared shitless of the inevitable classroom lectures my future holds one year from now.

I simply cannot push myself to participate. Ever. It didn't work in high school it sure as HELL won't work now or even one year from now.

I've had a recurring nightmare for the past couple of years. It involves me sitting in my desk inside of a large, circular dungeon (think of a torture chamber with ONE desk in the middle). I'm dutifully finishing a large worksheet packet when suddenly all of my nemeses from high school seemingly appear out of the shadows of the dungeon. They surround my desk, hovering around my shoulder, whispering in my ear, snickering at me, taunting me, demoralizing me, practically killing me. I can never recall what exactly they say to me in the dream, but I do know their intentions were ill. Then they apparate away (Any Potter fans? Heh.), their brutal insults still reverberating off of the walls of the chamber, always paining my ears. At this point in the dream I'm sitting in a fetal position in a corner of the room, covering my ears from my assailants' whispers, when a large mirror appears. I look into it and see that my hair (which is quite long at the moment) has all fallen out. I scream and from behind the mirror steps my old AP English teacher...she collects the strands of my hair from the floor of the dungeon while saying (And it's ALWAYS the same thing) "Why can't you talk? Why do you always have to SCREAM?" Then she cackles and also disappears like the bullies.

Pretty random bringing up my dream, I know, yet I feel that mentioning my dream was important in expressing the rage that I feel for the four years of high school that I endured.

I'd be content with simply sitting in the back of the class for all of my upcoming years in Uni, never saying a word, just jotting down notes...but I know that universities don't function that way. Maybe undergraduates can get away with that but postgraduates...nuh uh. Inform me if I'm wrong but I believe that I am right about this.

Some comfort would be nice... ::

 

[Noca]

I'm on my 3rd attempt at college, but 3rd times supposed to be a charm so we'll see. I manage to get through the day using meds.

 

[DillJenkins]

I didnt talk much in college. I went 4 years and got a Bachelor of Science.

I much the same as you with not being able to participate in class discussions and all that. In my 4 years I did not speak once in class. This is true, I am very shy and all I did was listen and learn and take test. I assure you that you can get through undergrad college and not speak.

There are certain presentations that must be done but tranquilizers or alcohol can help with this.

I have some news that hopefully will lift you up some. I had to get a disability exemption for one class that required me to speak 10 times per class period for 10pts. I went to Disability Services at my college and there are required by law to make "reasonable accommodations" for anyone with disability, be they physical or mental.

My accommodations were not reasonable but they allowed me to pass the class. I would get 5pts for writing a 5 page paper on what we were supposed to read. The other 5pts were to come from me speaking in class. Needless to say, I never got the other 5pts.

Even with only getting half credit each day I did extra well on the tests and projects. This allowed me to pass with a C instead of an A which I deserved.

I should have explained that my accommodations were not "reasonable" but I was happy just to get half of the daily points.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I attempted college numerous times, and I still say that had it not been for the group study sessions, I would have been out with a degree in no time. I was fine so long as I didn't have to directly deal with other students.

I hate to say this, as I don't want to give you an easy out or whatever, but there's always online school if the college grind turns out not to be to your liking.

 

[raylite]

To overcome social anxiety if you had it for many years, in my opinion is to start doing awkward things on purpose. If you're afraid of something bad happening or you say something in a weird way, then actually do it and see what happens. This is one of the techniques I used to overcome my social anxiety, I think its also one of the best....I'm taking public speaking and acting classes now and I'm enjoying myself because I'm not afraid of doing something awkward and embarrassing myself, I WANT to appear weird and awkward. Weird? Maybe....to some people...but I'm willing trade that to being happy and enjoying myself for the rest of my life instead of being miserable and lonely.

 

[Moonie]

College (for me) was actually easier than HS - when it comes to SA. In High school, I had alot of awkward moments in HS - like eating or studying alone during lunch time. Presentations were also worse in HS because people would laugh or say things when I spoke.

I went to a mid-sized school. I think there were about 10,000 - 12,000 students. I had many lecture classes with many people in them. They are actually the best because all the teacher usually does is lecture and give 4 tests. There were no presentations or group projects in the larger classes.

I had less than 10 classes during college in which a presentation was required. HOWEVER, public speaking was required. That was a nightmare (ended up with a D-.) Had I known that public speaking was a requirement, I would have actually went elsewhere. My advice is to see what gen eds are required at the schools you are interested in first.

As far as I knew, most professors did not mind much if I participated or not. I was a great student otherwise. I did well on tests and papers. Rarely (if ever) missed class. So, as long as you show up and work hard on everything else they will view you as a good student. I think sometimes asking the teacher a simple question after class shows that you are interested and a good student. I once asked my sociology teacher about a study guide manual, and I think he liked me after that. LOL.

College is really more lenient and easier in some ways than HS. You just have to take the right classes. You could always drop one early if you get the syllabus and see it’s mostly a discussion-based class. That’s the beauty of college. You sort of know early on what is expected. But, I would not recommend dropping a class over one presentation. You can get through that. They are not usually a huge part of the grade.

Another thing I enjoyed about college is that classes are only about 4 months long- and then you go on to new ones. That way, you are never with the same group of people for too long. You aren’t there long enough for them to discover that you don’t speak much.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I'm taking public speaking and acting classes now and I'm enjoying myself because I'm not afraid of doing something awkward and embarrassing myself, I WANT to appear weird and awkward.

That's good stuff.

 

[mitchellb999]

I just can't get through college.

I no longer see the point of going? I lose the will to go quickly. Unless I can get rid of my SA having a degree will be useless.