Scandalous Affair

[just-jonny]

Hello everyone,

I’ve got my self into a state of panic & stress, & I really don’t know how I can make this issues I’ve created go away!

I’m 19 years old and like most young gay lads I’ve started to realise the joy in random sex! Every weekend I would tart my self up and hit the scene with my mates, weekend after weekend I would cop off with any guy that showed any interested in me. One night after a heavy session of binge drinking I got chatting with my mothers hairdresser who is also her best mate, he’s very sexy for his age and is also gay & lives six doors away from my family home, One thing lead to another and we ended up having sex on his kitchen table. The experience was dazzling and sexy and we began to meet secretly in exciting location, for six months the experience was amazing until last week when my doctor told me the worst news I could have heard, I’m infected with a Sexually Transmitted Disease called Chlamydia. I told this man who I’ve been having an affair for six months with that I got Chlanydia and he went into a state of panic as we’ve not always use protection in the heat of passion! So straight away he got him self checked out and he has also got Chlamydia, he so scared to tell his partner of nine years he got Sexually Transmitted Disease off his best Friend/client son, I’m so scared that the affair will come to light and friendships and trust will be destroyed and I’m also scared for my health which I cant talk to any one about!

I’m so scared and I really don’t know what to do, can any one give me advice on how I can make this problem go away!

 

[Chilling__Echo]

actually, i thought it was treatable? i may be wrong but i'm pretty sure it can be cleared up.

but other than that, i think you have to decide what you want as well as he does. quite the pickle though.

i do think his partner deserves to know but leave your mom out of it

 

[DazedNConfused]

Chlamydia IS treatable, the same clinic that tested you should also put you on a regimen of anti-biotics to clear the infection up.

I'm not saying this to scare you, but you should also get tested for HIV in 3 months (the incubation waiting period).

UK HIV/STD Info:
http://www.avert.org/aidsuk.htm

There's a lot of good information in it, and when I had my scare (we all tend to get a bit careless when young!), it helped inform me.

 

[just-jonny]

Just as I thought my life couldn’t get any and worse and tangled, it just did this week when my mother found my anti-biotics for the Chlamydia I caught. I told her the whole story about the affair believing she would stand by me and help, but i was wrong and the whole affair that I’ve had is now out to my family and friends,

My mother has fallen out with the man/her best friend I had affair with and my dad wont even look or talk to me, and as far as my mates concerned they aint phone or spoke to me since Tuesday when the truth of the affair and Chlamydia came out.
I cant eat/sleep with the guilt and I now realised that I’m all alone in this cruel fucking world, I’m going out of my mind at the fact that no one is willing to talk me about how I’m feeling or doing, because they all busy fussing over the gossip that has spread like wild fire.

Reality has just hit me that every one I ever cared for has turned they back on me and I’m all alone,

 

[redlady]

Hi there - i'm sorry to hear about this. I can't even imagine. Are you still in contact with your 'lover' / that guy. Do you think he will offer you support in this ? Are there any - oh dear i don't even know...gay support groups in your area that you could get in contact with ? Surely there is somewhere / someone who could give you some support.

 

[just-jonny]

I’ve had no contact with this man because my dad wont let me out of the house unless he or mother with me, and it made worse by the fact of my dad taken my mobile off me until I gain trust and self-respect, which isn’t helping. I’ve never felt so bad in all my life, I just cant bare another day of hatred and guilt.

Why am I so helpless and bad

 

[redlady]

You aren't bad - you are who you are and there is nothing wrong with that.
Can you talk over your situation with someone at school ? Is there a school counsellor you could see ?

 

[saddo]

*edited by Chilling__Echo*

no personal attacks please

 

[redlady]

OI!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!! The guy already feels bad enough so shut your mouth.
Didn't your mother ever tell you if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all - and FUCK eminem who asked him anyway!!

 

[saddo]

Slow down redlady! This forum is about people with social phobia to have frees speech, Im new to this site & was shock to read about this guy telling us about his action towards another guy with Destructive Consequences! This issues has nothing to do with S.P. and I felt that for someone to post their homosexual views on a decent forum was out of order! So less of the arrogance please!

 

[redlady]

Your view that homosexuality is indecent is what is indecent. So what if that particular incident has nothing to do with sp - he suffers from sp. A lot of people here post things that have nothing to do specifically with sp. He is reaching out and wants some support because if it escaped your attention he has noone else to talk to. He doesn't need the added judgement from the likes of you.

 

[saddo]

Well lets agree to disagree! Sweetheart! Nothing in this forum has escaped my attention because it’s so wide of the mark! All im stating is that the position of that guys issues was offensive to me & I suspect to most of the website members e.g. his morals towards sexual intercourse. & as a victim of S.P. I felt this forum had nothing to do with S.P. and more to do with attention for his mistake!

If I offended you redlady then im sorry

 

[redlady]

You know, people are who they are and noone should be made to feel guilty or wrong because of who they are. How painful to be told that YOU are wrong - YOU are offensive.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

if this had to be about SP it wouldn't be in the "Friendship, Love, & Sex" forum. people make mistakes, this forum is open to anyone having a hard time. If he wanted someone judging him on his sexuality or on his choices, he wouldn't have come for support.

just-jonny, i'm sorry to hear all this. firstly i'm glad you got your anti-biotics for the infection, it can complicate other things if left untreatd.

also, i'm sorry your family didn't take too kindly to everything. this will all pass, i know it's no consolation but at least you don't have this big secret to hide anymore, it's in the open and that's that. maybe it's better this way? at any rate, don't kick yourself too hard. things will get better for you in the future.... and just remember that it took two to create this situation, so the falling-out with your mom and him isn't all on you.

like i say, i konw its not a lot of consolation, but i'm just trying to offer some support...

 

[Vonnie]

What the... :?: Saddo, what you said was very rude and insensitive. When someone is going through a rough time, do you think your comments will make that person feel better? Would you like it if it was done to you? *shakes head* If what just-jonny said bothered you, why did you post on his thread? :? just-jonny, hope you're ok?

 

[just-jonny]

Saddo,

I’m not having a dig at you, but if you felt so strongly about what I had written you could have sent a me a private message instead of causing a scene. And as far as my sexuality goes your approval is not needed.

 

[saddo]

Who the hell are you to look down at me just-jonny! I came on SPW hoping to find advice with someone who has real S.P. and yet you seem to think it’s ok to place me as the bad bitch! Homosexual behaviour it’s against my belief’s and religion and it was up to me to stand up for gods wishes!

 

[saddo]

Omg, u lot have not a clue! Do u

 

[Nadine333]

Who the hell are you to look down at me just-jonny! I came on SPW hoping to find advice with someone who has real S.P. and yet you seem to think it’s ok to place me as the bad bitch! Homosexual behaviour it’s against my belief’s and religion and it was up to me to stand up for gods wishes!

Hey Saddo,

Can I just ask what religion are you talking about??

 

[saddo]

Whats the fucking point! Im so mad right now with just-jonny plus your all taking the side of him! You all seem to be blind to the facts of what he did! thats all,