SA vs Autism vs Aspergers

[VANCOUVER2012]

How do I tell which one I might have or if I have them all?
I read its possible I have mild autism
I feel like my maternal grandpa and my mother and possibly even my maternal grandma have something as well.. Just because I behave like they do... Like... They're not people persons at all and get easily irritated if there's too many people in the house for a long period of time even if it's several hours... They need their recovery time after.. It could also be that they are just introverts.. Maybe I am too?? How am I suppose to know.. I'd like to figure it out myself before confirming it with a doctor because I feel like it will shock me and drive me into a depression knowing I have a "disorder" now...
I'll describe my personality a bit...
I am able to go out on the daily basis but I hate crossing busy streets (even though I am easily able to).
I'm extremely empathetic
I am able to look at people in the eye but I find it
I HATE andiffI try to avoid it... Mostly because I feel like people can see every thought and feeling in my eyes.
I hate any sort of attention on me! Even if it's something nice like "oh you are so pretty..." nah.... I rather not hear it at all.
I am sensitive to touch like poking me would hurt really bad. I don't like bright lights although I am easily able to cope under bright lights provided my skin looks flawless that day.. That would be the only reason I hate lights.. Because I have acne scars on my face and they show more under light..
I don't think I'm sensitive to sound... Like most autism people.. But I'm not sure what that means,, does it mean loud sounds?? Or constant sound? Like being at a loud coffee shop?? I think I'm okay with that.. Although I'd prefer im the only one in the coffee shop or with just 3-4 other people. I am really sensitive to music...... I become very very VERY easily depressed if the music is depressing or I can easily cry if it's sad but when I change the music to a happy one or pop I get back to my normal self... Like some Mozart music is too much for me to handle.
I hate waiting in long lineups and when I get to the cashier and she expects me to have a full on conversation while feeling like all the 20 people behind me can hear every word....
I like having people I trust around me... Like my mom and brother.. I would rather be shot dead then go to or have a party.
I don't like to show my emotions (mostly because I grew up with parents like that) but like showing excitement would mean showing people I'm happy which they can later on use my happiness to hurt me in some way (ya I don't expect you to get that lol) so I don't show my feelings. Most people say I look sad or tired though even though that's am just my "resting bitch face"
I use to be able to go to church and do dance performances and id get a little panicky before going but I'd still be able to cope with stuff like that.
Stuff like presentations at school I would be the person who's voice is trembling and is quiet and then the rat of the years I would skip any classes requiring a presentation altogether.
I use to get attached to people sometimes like boyfriends and close friends or actors/tv shows and when I don't have any form of attachment.. I feel depressed.. Although now I'm okay because I'm extremely busy lately but I have that emptiness in my life.
I am able to take bus and train on my own but I would avoid the rush hours times.
I can make phone calls to make appointments and stuff but I don't talk to friends on the phone anymore like I use to as a teenager.
I worry A LOT what people think of me,, even if it's just family.
I over analyze stuff people have said and get offended easily.
I have cut out people from my life because I am unable to deal with them socially.... Like family members because they expect me to be there at their parties and also to be invited to the very few parties I have like once a year.
If I know some people are planning to come over.. I will stress and panic about it for days.
I don't really know how to greet people.. Im not into shaking hands just because it feels too formal which makes me more nervous... If that makes any sense.
Overall I'm an introvert I know that..
I need several days of recovery after a day full of socializing.

 

[Bronson99]

I've been exploring the divide between all these disorders for a long time but your post is like a long wall of text, no spaces between your paragraphs and I can't really peruse it this way. Hopefully some folks here don't mind and will read it anyway, but for me to offer any insight, I'd need a more concise post to read.

thanks for posting anyway, though

 

[VANCOUVER2012]

I've been exploring the divide between all these disorders for a long time but your post is like a long wall of text, no spaces between your paragraphs and I can't really peruse it this way. Hopefully some folks here don't mind and will read it anyway, but for me to offer any insight, I'd need a more concise post to read.

thanks for posting anyway, though

Oh?? I wrote it like that.. As a list on purpose because I thought it might be easier to read but thanks for letting me know I didn't write it properly or according to your standards.... Okay....

 

[SpaceTime]

I was wondering two things when I read your post. One is why do you want to have a diagnosis if you feel that it may shock you, and second is why do you think a diagnosis would shock you? None of those things are terrible are they (SA, Autism, Aspergers)? I mean the symptoms you describe may at times be very hard to deal with, I know, but having one of those diagnoses in itself isn't awful is it? And for many people having a 'label' can be useful because they can then seek out things that help.

 

[dannyboy65]

I was diagnosed with autism when I was 16. I joined an autism foundation for adults and see a lot of different kinds of autism everyday. The thing is you will never know autism you will only know one person with autism, what I mean is autism is never the same in anybody.

There are plenty of stereotypes on autism and its a very confusing thing. But my advice to you don't look at it as a disorder or disability just because everyone else does. No autism is a unique characteristic that makes you awesome in your own way.

Look at me for example. I'm very social, I keep eye contact and hell sometimes I touch people. Believe me touch is hard for me to do as my sensory is overloaded so bad that I can't even enjoy swimming cause of the feeling of water. Also it's hard for me to keep attention, because when I look around I see every small detail that's in my line of site and as I see all these details, I'm processing them and thinking about them. But I am learning how to stay focused.

Even eating was a big problem for me up until now I would only eat few foods now I pretty much eat anything.

I would say though get tested and don't self diagnose, and on top of that don't be ashamed of who you are

 

[Bronson99]

Well I read over the list anyway (apologize if my first post sounded callous). I think you definitely have some traits of Asperger's, beyond that, I cannot say.

As for diagnosis, yes the best option is to see a licensed professional. However I find there's nothing wrong with self-diagnosis if it helps you understand yourself better.

 

[theslowesthand]

It sounds like a bunch of issues which i'm very familiar with:
- Social anxiety
- Over-sensitivity
- Aspergers (or almost; sth in autism spectrum; maybe very mild autism?)
- Introverted personality
- Neurotic thinking patterns