Run and go where?
- Thread starter ioanna
- Start date
JonnyD
Well-known member
i'm generally very good in avoiding people and situations, so it's not that common.
i've felt like running away before, is like you just want to get out of there and go somewhere "safe", i've felt the urge to run out of a situation asap too, but i don't run because people will notice
generally when i'm going home and my neighbors are outside i try to go faster so they don't notice me.
i think the real question is not where but why ?
i've felt like running away before, is like you just want to get out of there and go somewhere "safe", i've felt the urge to run out of a situation asap too, but i don't run because people will notice
generally when i'm going home and my neighbors are outside i try to go faster so they don't notice me.
i think the real question is not where but why ?
GKJB
Active member
I get this, I usually pray they don't say hello or anything because I don;t know what to say back. When I moved into my new flat, there was a group of arseholes hanging round on their bikes downstairs 24/7. To get out of my flat I had no choice but to walk straight through the group. They used to say hello but I'd panic and not know what to say, how to walk, where to look, and probably looked like some nervous jittery freak because of it.
How long do you look at people when you say hello, and where do you look after? I either stare for too long, maybe making them think I;ve got a problem with them, or give a quick glimpse then start looking around everywhere at random things. I remind myself of a bird, the way they move their heads everywhere really suddenly. Makes me feel like a proper dick
How long do you look at people when you say hello, and where do you look after? I either stare for too long, maybe making them think I;ve got a problem with them, or give a quick glimpse then start looking around everywhere at random things. I remind myself of a bird, the way they move their heads everywhere really suddenly. Makes me feel like a proper dick
GloomySunday
Well-known member
Were these people in a gang and looked like they would hurt you...or was it just a group of ordinary people standing around?
whispering_screams
Well-known member
I usually pretend I'm texting or talking on the phone even though I'm actually just looking at an old text message or listening to voice mail again. I do this when I have to pass a group of girls who look mean/bitchy or way too popular and I just know they'll look at me and make a judgment about me. And I feel that if I don't focus on something else, like pretending to make a call, I'll be all worried about what they might think and appear like a FREAK with my nervous energy.
ioanna
Well-known member
They were like a gang,like those people i had in school before and judge a lot.But this happens lots of times.Even today,some girls were talking and laughing and then came to ask something about a lesson and i was looking down all the time.I just couldnt stop it.I understand how i react many times but cant stop it
GloomySunday
Well-known member
There was a time when I was younger that gangs used to unsettle me. Where I used to live there were always large gangs of youths hanging around the streets. More often than not they would give me a hard time. I guess it was their way of having fun. After all, what else do you do if you spend all night hanging around on a street corner?
What gave me confidence back then was the fact that I knew I had a lot more positive things going on in my life than they did. Although they used to give me a hard time as I was walking past them of an evening, they had no idea where I was going to or what I was planning on doing that night. More often than not I was going out somewhere good, to meet friends, to have some adventures and to enjoy life. Whilst I was doing that they were probably still standing around there, on that same street corner, in the cold, making fun of anyone else who cared to walk by them. Is that a fun and productive way to spend your evening? They're welcome to it!
Gang culture is understandable, though. I think everyone wants to feel like they "belong" to something. Unfortunately, the majority of gangs are populated by people who aren't very intelligent or know little of the world beyond the narrow perimeters of their understanding. The most dominant members are often physically strong and overbearing, but weak in the most important areas of life.
I guess the trick is to not let it affect your confidence. You need to build a "world" of your own that brings you happiness. Do things you enjoy doing. Go places you want to go. Never let other people stop you from living your life or following your dreams. Over time, negative opinions of others won't affect you so much. You'll learn to walk taller and hold your head up high. No matter what anyone says to you, you can have a "secret smile" to yourself and just know that what you do with your time is much more preferable to how they choose to spend theirs.
This may not apply to you, it's probably because I'm a male, but I find that working out and keeping physically fit also helps with my confidence around gangs and groups of strangers. I'm becoming quite physically stronger now (thanks to working out) and I don't feel quite so fearful about walking past groups of males in the street at night. I know I can look after myself now. I was once mugged in the street, someone tried to take my money, and that person was a lot bigger than me. I think it really surprised them when I chose to fight back. I really fought him hard and he ran away. It was awful to be attacked in that way, but it also gave me confidence to know that I wasn't prepared to be someone's "victim".
Not all gangs of people mean us harm, though. It helps to be able to judge a situation and to read people's body language and posture. Learn to separate "banter" (harmless comments made in fun) from genuinely hostile ones.
I think in your situation, just try to work harder at making a better life for yourself in general and this will give you the ability to walk a little taller in life and around other people.
Who knows? In time, maybe they'll want to join your "gang", so to speak.
I hope this helps.
What gave me confidence back then was the fact that I knew I had a lot more positive things going on in my life than they did. Although they used to give me a hard time as I was walking past them of an evening, they had no idea where I was going to or what I was planning on doing that night. More often than not I was going out somewhere good, to meet friends, to have some adventures and to enjoy life. Whilst I was doing that they were probably still standing around there, on that same street corner, in the cold, making fun of anyone else who cared to walk by them. Is that a fun and productive way to spend your evening? They're welcome to it!
Gang culture is understandable, though. I think everyone wants to feel like they "belong" to something. Unfortunately, the majority of gangs are populated by people who aren't very intelligent or know little of the world beyond the narrow perimeters of their understanding. The most dominant members are often physically strong and overbearing, but weak in the most important areas of life.
I guess the trick is to not let it affect your confidence. You need to build a "world" of your own that brings you happiness. Do things you enjoy doing. Go places you want to go. Never let other people stop you from living your life or following your dreams. Over time, negative opinions of others won't affect you so much. You'll learn to walk taller and hold your head up high. No matter what anyone says to you, you can have a "secret smile" to yourself and just know that what you do with your time is much more preferable to how they choose to spend theirs.
This may not apply to you, it's probably because I'm a male, but I find that working out and keeping physically fit also helps with my confidence around gangs and groups of strangers. I'm becoming quite physically stronger now (thanks to working out) and I don't feel quite so fearful about walking past groups of males in the street at night. I know I can look after myself now. I was once mugged in the street, someone tried to take my money, and that person was a lot bigger than me. I think it really surprised them when I chose to fight back. I really fought him hard and he ran away. It was awful to be attacked in that way, but it also gave me confidence to know that I wasn't prepared to be someone's "victim".
Not all gangs of people mean us harm, though. It helps to be able to judge a situation and to read people's body language and posture. Learn to separate "banter" (harmless comments made in fun) from genuinely hostile ones.
I think in your situation, just try to work harder at making a better life for yourself in general and this will give you the ability to walk a little taller in life and around other people.
Who knows? In time, maybe they'll want to join your "gang", so to speak.
I hope this helps.
ioanna
Well-known member
I do understand what you mean.I am simple-if you understand what i mean,i dont wear clothes to take attention or anything else.I m guiet.I get depressed by some things but try to be positive but sometimes i cant control it.It doesnt happen with all people..thats why i cant understand it.I know that they havent done anything to me but still i cant help it.If a group of people start judging me i ll think about it or ignore it.
Azahara
Well-known member
I sometimes pass on the another half of the paviment to avoid face to them. This is panic, anxiety. ´When you avoid this situations, the anxiety grows in the next one situation. It´s a testing fact.
Even, I sometimes avoid buying in the same place as always; f.e: ciguarretes ´cos I know the dependent and I fell anxiety and negative thoughts. F.E;" The other day we were talking, perhaps today I won´t know what say. Perhaps I´m not be as well as the other day" low self-esteem.
Good luck!
Even, I sometimes avoid buying in the same place as always; f.e: ciguarretes ´cos I know the dependent and I fell anxiety and negative thoughts. F.E;" The other day we were talking, perhaps today I won´t know what say. Perhaps I´m not be as well as the other day" low self-esteem.
Good luck!