Relationships

[Sacrament]

I'm so tired of this, I swear.

I'm in a relationship that could be absolutely beautiful and she seems like the perfect girl and yet I always fuck it up with jealousy and similar shit. Obviously, it just gets to a point where it pisses her off and I get SO mad at myself that I just want to explode.

What the hell can I do to overcome this fear of her breaking my heart and just trust her? I've always had trust issues and it fucking kills me. No matter how hard I try, I always get those thoughts and I can't even stand having her talk to her closer friends (male) because I go insane and anxious and nervous and can't even have a decent conversation because it's always there. I hate it so much. If I lose her because of this shit, I'll go insane.

If you are in a relationship or were before, what did or what do you do to just let go and let yourself be happy with things?

Also, what have you done to be content with your own life instead of depending on someone else's feelings to achieve happiness? I want to be happy with myself BECAUSE of myself and my own achievements, but I can't do it no matter how hard I try.

 

[Danfalc]

You need to decide if you can trust her or not.. then if you decide you can.When you start getting jelous ect see it for what it is... just your insecurities trying to poison everything like normal.While your still suffering from sa... i think your going to always have this problem :? And untill you learn to love yaself sorta thing... your always going to get these feelings that your not good enough or shes going to find someone better.But at the end of the day she chose to be with you...try and remember that.You might not be able to get rid of the feelings but you can choose how you react to them.

Try not to be possesive... controlling ect.. try and do the opposite and put your trust in her despite how you feel.Try and be honest with her and talk about it,i dont think theres anything wrong with getting jelous aslong as you dont let it manifest in a bad way... it just shows you care and are scared of loosing somthing important.Theres no easy answers tho... you have to find somthing in life yourself which makes you feel content and happy for who you are.Cos its different for everyone.

 

[recluse]

I've never had a girlfriend in my life because i can't believe that anyone would want to be in a relationship with me, but i know that i would be insanely jealous if i was in a relationship just seeing the girl talking to other guys. Relationships which have no trust are doomed from the start, and i wonder sometimes what's the use of me ever bothering.

 

[Sacrament]

That's the thing, you know? She trusts me with her life and knows that I wouldn't cheat on her. She is able to find herself at peace with our love and just smile while I have these fucked up thoughts that won't even allow me to sleep at night.

It's so strange, you know? I truly want to be at peace with this love and just let things be, just let everyday go by with a smile and togetherness as a couple. If I lose her because of my troubles, I will never forgive myself. I need to do something about this.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

trust

I dont know if i am in any position to be giving advise but maby the reason she trust you and you get jelous is because you need more female friends.

Maby you have a mentality of shortage and thats why you are attached to her. Do you have lots of females friends is what I am asking..

 

[lifes_to_long]

basically you need to look at it like this jealousy isnt gunna get you anywhere plus its a total turn off for most girls if there boyfriends got these kinda of securities but it is only natural to get them but try and deal with them with other people not just the girl.gd luck.oli

 

[Sacrament]

Re: trust

I dont know if i am in any position to be giving advise but maby the reason she trust you and you get jelous is because you need more female friends.

Maby you have a mentality of shortage and thats why you are attached to her. Do you have lots of females friends is what I am asking..

She knows I sometimes talk to other girls, even if I don't know them personally sometimes. Yes, I do notice some jealousy when she hears about it or if I mention something regarding a girl I know, but when it comes to my jealousy, I take it to a whole different level and it even makes ME mad. The point is that she trusts my actions, knows that I am a good person and that I would never do anything that would break that trust. I'm not a liar and I hate secrets and so forth.

 

[miss_amy]

Jealousy hurts from both sides. Having someone insanely jealous and possesive of you and thinking you are going to cheat feels horrible. It brings you down and you either end up feeling suffocated or you break free and leave. There's also sometimes the factor of 'if I'm being accused of it I might as well do it'...... I know its hard if you feel it but danfalc is right, its OK to feel it as long as you don't act on it in a negative way. A little bit of jealousy is normal and healthy and keeps things alive. That little twinge in your belly when she talks to other guys is all it should be not anger etc....

Maybe if you let go, OK you'll feel it but let her talk to whoever then you will find that she can be trusted and hopefully the jealousy will subside a bit. Also if she can't be trusted you'll find out sooner and start the painful process of moving on.