Rearing it's ugly head again....

[lithium]

Depression is coming back again. These last few days have I've been feeling down and empty. I'm trying to fight it. I came here to let loose, because it's sort of like a sanctuary for me. So here it goes, this is how I feel:

Falling back into this ****-ing hole again. This time it's deeper and the sides are really far apart so it's nearly impossible to pull myself up. Dirt keeps falling trickling down and hitting my face and my vision is blurry as F-U-C-K. I can't see who is shoveling dirt back into the hole but whoever it is keeps covering the hole gradually. Pretty soon I'll be knee deep in this shi-t and I won't be able to get out. That mother-fu-cker with the shovel, let me have a wack at it so I beat until you're unconscious. Then I'll rape your dead corpse and eat your intestines joyfully.

I apologize for the vulgarity, but it helps to get the anger out.

 

[Noca]

Depression for me comes and goes. I usually experience 1 major depressive episode a year. When I'm in the episode I will think that there is no hope of ever getting out, but that isnt true. I exited my last major depressive episode 9 days ago or so. You can too. Just keep fighting it with whatever you choose, whether it be meds, therapy or self help.