Hi,
A few weeks ago you had given me good advice when you answered one of my posts, and I wanted to get your opinion on this as well as another man.
I had a situation last week where my grieving co-worker had told me he was doing okay, and then told a female co-worker he wasn't doing well at all. I figured that maybe he is more comfortable telling his deeper feelings to a woman (I'm the same way actually), but I think I have an answer - maybe I was just trying too hard.
This is what happened yesterday: I saw him this morning a little while after he got in. He asked me how my holiday was, and he said his went as well as could be expected under the circumstances. He was having laptop issues, so I told him I wouldn’t keep him. He did tell me to come by again (or later, I don’t remember now).
Later in the day, he was talking to one of the sales girls for a while when I passed by during my lunch break. I took a brief walk, and when I got back, I saw him just for a minute, but he was again having laptop issues while trying to get a report out, and had to call the IT guy, so I told him again I wouldn’t keep him. Now, either my timing was off and I just caught him at bad times, or it truly is a sign that he needs me to back off a bit.
The temptation is there to say that maybe he is tiring of my visits, as he had talked with the sales girl for a few minutes earlier. The past few weeks have been busy for him, and he has been having laptop issues. And when I saw him the first time he had said “come back again,” which he wouldn’t have said if he didn’t want me to. I am still confused -what is your take on this.
Pne thing, though, is that I do let him lead the conversation. When I see him, I'll ask how he is doing (as I would have if he hadn't lost his daughter), and if he says doing okay, I do leave it at that. As mentioned in my previous post, I don't pry or ask questions.
As I refelcted further, I do think that maybe he has come to feel that I am trying to hard, coming on too strong (daily vists), so I will cut my visits to maybe once or twice a week. If he does think I came on too strong, tried too hard, etc, I hope he does forgive me for that. MY heart truly is in the right place.
Thanks,
Brody
A few weeks ago you had given me good advice when you answered one of my posts, and I wanted to get your opinion on this as well as another man.
I had a situation last week where my grieving co-worker had told me he was doing okay, and then told a female co-worker he wasn't doing well at all. I figured that maybe he is more comfortable telling his deeper feelings to a woman (I'm the same way actually), but I think I have an answer - maybe I was just trying too hard.
This is what happened yesterday: I saw him this morning a little while after he got in. He asked me how my holiday was, and he said his went as well as could be expected under the circumstances. He was having laptop issues, so I told him I wouldn’t keep him. He did tell me to come by again (or later, I don’t remember now).
Later in the day, he was talking to one of the sales girls for a while when I passed by during my lunch break. I took a brief walk, and when I got back, I saw him just for a minute, but he was again having laptop issues while trying to get a report out, and had to call the IT guy, so I told him again I wouldn’t keep him. Now, either my timing was off and I just caught him at bad times, or it truly is a sign that he needs me to back off a bit.
The temptation is there to say that maybe he is tiring of my visits, as he had talked with the sales girl for a few minutes earlier. The past few weeks have been busy for him, and he has been having laptop issues. And when I saw him the first time he had said “come back again,” which he wouldn’t have said if he didn’t want me to. I am still confused -what is your take on this.
Pne thing, though, is that I do let him lead the conversation. When I see him, I'll ask how he is doing (as I would have if he hadn't lost his daughter), and if he says doing okay, I do leave it at that. As mentioned in my previous post, I don't pry or ask questions.
As I refelcted further, I do think that maybe he has come to feel that I am trying to hard, coming on too strong (daily vists), so I will cut my visits to maybe once or twice a week. If he does think I came on too strong, tried too hard, etc, I hope he does forgive me for that. MY heart truly is in the right place.
Thanks,
Brody
