Re: Who stays indoors during nice weather?
- Thread starter Shyguest
- Start date
Olivier25
Member
hey bluenow...
you wrote:
"I'm not a hermit but people do call me a homebody."
you shouldve only said
"I'm not a hermit "
dont let people define who you are.
Easier said than done tho, especially for sa people
if they keep their "everyday sa lifestyle", and people
see that. they keep seing you the same way.
Of course when you'll start to change they may still
see you like that or hope youd still be that guy...
how come?
well let just say change, for the worst or for the better,
creates tensions or disaproval in your environment from
certain people. You need to do your thing no matter what
resistance they will put in tho.
way too much to cover here...
just remember to define AND redefine yourself(go for it!)
on your own and dont let peoples vision and expectations of you
get in the way of defining who you are and becoming.
Olivier
you wrote:
"I'm not a hermit but people do call me a homebody."
you shouldve only said
"I'm not a hermit "
dont let people define who you are.
Easier said than done tho, especially for sa people
if they keep their "everyday sa lifestyle", and people
see that. they keep seing you the same way.
Of course when you'll start to change they may still
see you like that or hope youd still be that guy...
how come?
well let just say change, for the worst or for the better,
creates tensions or disaproval in your environment from
certain people. You need to do your thing no matter what
resistance they will put in tho.
way too much to cover here...
just remember to define AND redefine yourself(go for it!)
on your own and dont let peoples vision and expectations of you
get in the way of defining who you are and becoming.
Olivier
sickofbeinglonely
Well-known member
I find it harder to go out in nice weather as women wear more revealing clothes. I usually end up going home afterwards feeling low because I've just seen loads of attractive women that I'll never be able to get near. I've probably missed so many opportunities to meet women due to my SA and low self esteem.
At the moment the days are so dismal that I don't feel like going out so I'm rapidly becoming more agoraphobic.
At the moment the days are so dismal that I don't feel like going out so I'm rapidly becoming more agoraphobic.
Richey
Well-known member
sickofbeinglonely you are not alone.
It being summer i go to the shops and these gorgeous girls wearing skimpy outfits are everywhere. I just think that these are girls i will never get even close to because you always see them with big good looking guys. I was talking to an old girlfriend from school and she was saying that she only looks for guys who earn a certain amount of money and like to party every weekend. Thats what alot of girls want. Its hard thinking about reality and the way the world works sometimes.
It being summer i go to the shops and these gorgeous girls wearing skimpy outfits are everywhere. I just think that these are girls i will never get even close to because you always see them with big good looking guys. I was talking to an old girlfriend from school and she was saying that she only looks for guys who earn a certain amount of money and like to party every weekend. Thats what alot of girls want. Its hard thinking about reality and the way the world works sometimes.
Primus
Active member
I KNOW HOW YOU ALL FEEL, I KNOW SO MUCH
Bad times will pass.
"
Dont give up tha fight,
Never give up tha fight,
Speak happiness, your sad enough without your woes
Well, never give up tha fight,
"
All I can say is get out and run alittle bit, start running at night until you gain confidence and then go out and run during the day.
Lift a few weights, go to the gym. Realize that everyone at the gym is probably more nervous and anxious about being judged than you are. People are people and they will not judge you, they love you. We all connect, even if your nervous people still accept you, but do you accept them?
All I can say is that working out/ running/ subjecting myself to social situations(to an extent) has "almost" cured me. I am never anxious except when it comes to being a friend to someone. I know that "almost" being cured I have so much more to do before I'm cured, and I will most likely never be "cured" and I don't want to be cured because it makes me unique.
Bad times will pass.
"
Dont give up tha fight,
Never give up tha fight,
Speak happiness, your sad enough without your woes
Well, never give up tha fight,
"
All I can say is get out and run alittle bit, start running at night until you gain confidence and then go out and run during the day.
Lift a few weights, go to the gym. Realize that everyone at the gym is probably more nervous and anxious about being judged than you are. People are people and they will not judge you, they love you. We all connect, even if your nervous people still accept you, but do you accept them?
All I can say is that working out/ running/ subjecting myself to social situations(to an extent) has "almost" cured me. I am never anxious except when it comes to being a friend to someone. I know that "almost" being cured I have so much more to do before I'm cured, and I will most likely never be "cured" and I don't want to be cured because it makes me unique.
PeaceInTheValley
Member
I tend to avoid the outdoors, especially in the summertime. Not so much the social phobia as it is my profound hatred for the hot sun burning in my eyes.
I prefer foggy winterdays.
Outside of that I don't get out much regardless of the weather. Nighttime is ok, though. I actually enjoy riding my bike at night to get cigarettes.
The SA just disappears. I have no fear in keeping my head up. Hah, that's another thing which must look rediculous to other people. I always keep my head down when I'm riding my bike. Once in a while I look up to see if there are any cars or anything approaching me. Got me into quite a few accidents. I'd rather land face down on the hood of a car every so often than having to see people watching my every move. Yes. Ugh.. :|
I prefer foggy winterdays.
Outside of that I don't get out much regardless of the weather. Nighttime is ok, though. I actually enjoy riding my bike at night to get cigarettes.
The SA just disappears. I have no fear in keeping my head up. Hah, that's another thing which must look rediculous to other people. I always keep my head down when I'm riding my bike. Once in a while I look up to see if there are any cars or anything approaching me. Got me into quite a few accidents. I'd rather land face down on the hood of a car every so often than having to see people watching my every move. Yes. Ugh.. :|
I_think_they_think
Member
sickofbeinglonely said:
I feel you man. I used to have the same experience when going out, and sometimes I still do.
But it is a self-torturing, no good, crap belief that comes from your bad self esteem and knowledge of the world.
Read the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss, and you will begin to understand what is possible.
When you get healthier you will start to see woman as people instead of figures. With as different personalitys as men. Most of them with low self esteem as well, looking for someone that will see them for what they really are.(instead of just seeing their outside as most men do..)
Oh, and when it comes to opportunities. There is a neverending supply of woman in the world.
Of course you missed opportunities, but it's like missing the bus. Really. See it from their perspective. They missed you too, but they probably moved on. (Unless they had SA as well.)
I am no casanova myself. This is all new to me and I would really appreciate a womans comments on this.