&#?*^% --- rage --- &#?*^%

[theslowesthand]

As at 14 votes, the average is 3.3 ("Once or twice per year")
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just had one of my infamous "RAGE ATTACKS" (in front of my mother). I was feeling angry/annoyed/resentful, then i did sth "stupid" (smashed-up an object), which "set mum off" in a BIG way, which then "set me off" (in an EVEN BIGGER way, as is my way!). I am a bit of a Rage-a-Holic!. And i probably will never apologize (just "push it under the rug") as there's sth in me which strongly dislikes apologizing, maybe due to being "illogical". Or maybe because it triggers "soppy/caring" feelings.
"And all hell broke lose". Not proud of it (ashamed). But what can you do?. Things build up in me for days, weeks, months, years - and it's INEVITABLE they'll all come "bursting out" sooner or later (the "rage" part). Maybe i could do things to stop stuff building up so much, but i never do (even if i knew what such things were, i would probably never do them).
I can't handle change, and this is what "set me off" (the pre-rage part). That i believe i cannot change.


How often do you "snap" in a "blind violent fury"?
And what triggers it?
And what causes it?


Personally, I find that:

• How often: Rarely (these days). And when I do, I turn into my "Dr Jekyll" alter-ego (ie I go WAY over-the-top)
• What triggers it?: Usually it's "environmental stress" (something sby does or says). Occasionally it has been alcohol (brings it to surface) & my own thoughts/feelings/actions.
  I can't handle change, and this is what "set me off" (the pre-rage part). That i believe i cannot change.
  Normally, i live a VERY structured/routine/orderly life, but when sth changes, i feel anxious/insecure/worried/etc, and then i guess i remain in a "trigger-happy" state (until anxiety/etc dies back down). And while in that state, maybe a "rage attack" can be triggered? (or sth like that).
  
• What causes it?
  Things build up in me for days, weeks, months, years - and it's INEVITABLE they'll all come "bursting out" sooner or later (the "rage" part). Maybe i could do things to stop stuff building up so much, but i never do (even if i knew what such things were, i would probably never do them).

I know everybody gets angry from time to time, and maybe even enraged. But i'm curious as to how common it is for people (eg on spw) to ACT on that rage in an EXTREMELY VIOLENT and UNCONTROLLABLE manner (a major "violent barrage" of verbal/physical output) .. hence the poll.

 

[Inspiration]

No idea what to write. Couple year back... i get angry and furious easily when i heard someone say something that is not true about me or something i don't agree with. I can't release my anger on living things. I end up trashing the whole house. Afterward, i clean it up slowly when my anger subside. Chill!

 

[awkwardamanda]

You sound like me. Plz see the post I left in this thread only moments ago. I bottle up all my emotions and sometimes I just can't take it anymore and I explode. I get angry or cry over the stupidest little things sometimes because I've got so much pent up emotion that that's all it takes to push me over the edge. When I get really angry I yell, I scream, I swear, I kick things, throw things, slam doors. Sometimes I'll hit people if they piss me off but I've tried to tone down that one. My brother and I got spanked when we acted up as kids but we always fought back. We figured if you can hit us, we'll hit back. I don't think it was a very effective form of discipline. If it teaches some kids not to do something or they'll get a spank, fine. But that doesn't work on everyone. Both my parents have wicked tempers and I had quite a few slap fights with my dad when I was a kid. It wasn't just a simple spank. Their tempers certainly rubbed off on me. Violence is the only thing that makes me feel better sometimes. Counting to ten and taking deep breaths seems pretty lame when you're angry. It doesn't let the aggression out. Once I've slammed enough doors or thrown enough chairs, then I can go calm down.::

 

[theslowesthand]

Both my parents have wicked tempers and I had quite a few slap fights with my dad when I was a kid. It wasn't just a simple spank. Their tempers certainly rubbed off on me

Both my parents have violent tempers, and they generally overreact to the SLIGHTEST of "wrong" things that i do, mum more so than dad. So i certainly have got their temperament in this regard (& i'm a rage-a-holic like dad - he got into many "rages" all throughout my life, often taking it out ("directing" it) on farm animals (as they would be the straw-that-broke-the-camels-back; i won't say what he did to them )

Of course me being male, and living with the constant underlying fear of his rage, meant we HARDLY EVER got into any conflict/argument, as he "doesn't do" conflict (he goes "MENTAL"). But of course never having ANY "conflicts" with him EVER (we all avoided it like the black plague), meant all those unhealthy feelings were bottled-up for years and years - until he would explode in a violent rage attack (usually targeted at animals, only a few times at me). But that's my dad - a FEISTY NUTTER. Dennis The Menace, Psycho Penis.

 

[Dronee]

For me, there's times when I'm really very angry and I can't help myself but bang up objects (I still have it in me to keep from destroying them)... And then there's a couple of times when it's almost like a body reflex.

When I was a conscript, my fellow conscript touched my hair from behind and tried to play with it out of boredom. I remembered feeling intense rage and turned around possibly to tell him to not do that. But he was already on the floor. Took me a second to realize that I've actually punched him... He's a little hooligan-like, but he's a good guy and a friend so I immediately apologized and told him that it's unintentional and reflexive. None of the other conscripts tried to touch me after that though... so that's something good I guess. This sort of thing happens extremely rarely for me. The banging up objects is much more common.

Rage is a bad thing though if you can't control it imo... It's good if it helps you say... fight against an armed robber if there's no other choice... but it's really bad in arguments especially with loved ones.