Quit the crying and laugh already!

[Hylke]

How much can you laugh at yourself SPW? Don't you ever take a step back, look at yourself and just laugh? I certainly do. Whenever I am like:
Boohooohoo; don't have any friends/nobody likes me/virgin forever/what will they think about me/so nervous for this presentation etc. I just point at myself and laugh, like any common bully would do.

It works great, although it yields a cynical worldview, and a rather unstable emotional state, it helps. Laughing and not taking your disability too seriously is a great way to actually get over the annoying sympathy and misunderstanding people give you. I hate tobe patronised, so I just distance myself from my insecure self as if it is someone else.

And honestly, I think forums like these would be much better if they were not just a place where you can tell about your misery (whichis fine if that's what you need), but also a place where you can just joke around about it because, like any sort of handicap, it doesn't make you none human, just different from the normal group.

What I mean is, within the confinement of this forum, your own mind and the company of other insecure people, we can all be normal and social because everybody understands eachother. So quit the crying for once and look at the funny side of not being able to talk to a boy or girl, the funny side of being ugly, the funny side of being friendless. Because there is one, and no one here will judge or misunderstand you because they do not understand your suffering (like it is forbidden to joke about people in a wheelchair, I'm sure some of them would like that as well).

 

[smileyshygirl]

thats true!

you know what? i think you are absolutely right! it does kinda help our situation if we just dont take everything that happens , so seriously. maybe thats just what people with sp/sa need.

 

[no1]

you have to be somebody to laugh. to me none of this is too funny. this doesn't help me. anyone who thinks that by making fun of me or mocking me or beating me down actually helps me is wrong. whatever doesn't kill you only makes you weaker if you cannot recover from it. it does not help to me tell that there are others in the world worse off from me. it just goes to show how much crueler it can get. it doesn't help to tell me that I am my own worst enemy, it just makes it worse. most if not everything that works for others most likely will not work for me.

I have tried and tried to see things the way others do. I lack an understanding that others don't have and no matter how hard I tried to see it, I failed. Totally. Over and Over again, like it is predestined. This is how the Book of Life was written, I realize I am just a sheep being led to slaughter for the Good of All. Why can't I just see it the way others do? Why does it seem like I can't understanding anything and nobody can understand me?

I try to be positive, and I come out like... a drunk monkey, so completely and utterly and hopelessly lost that it isn't even funny.

To be funny, one has to exist in the first place. I don't even feel as if I exist.

I give up Completely.

 

[creep_x]

i think i have done more than my share of self-pity & yes i did laugh at myself at times
Honestly, if i laugh at myself that would me feel like i am in a state of hysteria..i guess i would laugh at myself only if i am in a state of hysteria
Its almost like being a sadist
but to each his own i guess

 

[NormanBates]

lol My family get-togethers are like that. Every single person who shows up is expected to be a bully .. just to create a good atmosphere.

but if you can do that all by yourself, then that is a good virtue as well

 

[chris87]

I always feel better when I laugh. I don't usually laugh at myself though, but I should try it!

 

[Hylke]

@no1

I am exactly like your description, a 'nobody' who doesn't know what to do in a normal situation like most people. And during my entire high school I was, I think, much like you. Terrified of doing something wrong. Never knowing if someone was telling the truth or not about me.

Here's some things that changed me:
-When I was on a school trip and we were in bed trying to sleep, a few guys used markers to paint on everyone's faces and they thought I was asleep as wel. So one of them comes towards me to do the same but all the others tell himhe shouldn't because it's so sad. I knew he was telling the truth

-On tv someone made a short remark in the middle of a story, which I always think is the biggest source of truth since lies focus around facts and the major theme of a story. What he said was: "The more people like you, the more they will tease you. It is a way to get you involved in the social situation". That was an eureka moment

-There was a guy at work who was just like me, shy, never talk. And you tried to talk to him, but he always looked like he could burst into tears any second.

This made me see that being sorry for yourself is the thing that scares people away, rather than failingat anything. People will forgive you for pretty much any failure as long as you laugh it away. Failures only make you 'that nice and funny clumsy guy'.

I still suck at social situations. Can't say a word when I'm in a group, I just stutter and blush. Can't say a word to a girl either, same thing. But at least I laugh it off. So my social phobia just got converted to 0 social skills. And fear future social situations far less because I can always joke about myself. Honestly it works, although it turns you into a huge cynic.

And no you don't need a character to laugh, just a very low self esteem, which I'm sure is no problem for you

 

[no1]

@no1This made me see that being sorry for yourself is the thing that scares people away, rather than failingat anything. People will forgive you for pretty much any failure as long as you laugh it away. Failures only make you 'that nice and funny clumsy guy'.

This is the thing I really hate the most. People don't like you because you have F*CKING FEELINGS!. Yeah I can laugh at my own problems SOMETIMES. Only if I see it though through another's eyes. Or when I'm feeling crazy or masochistic/sadistic.

But people avoiding people who have true feelings. Who look sad, etc. Am *I* the ONLY one who might want to comfort someone who is feeling bad, looking sad, or whatever? So the f*ck WWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAATTTT!!!!! if I don't show too much confidence, maybe I was led to believe this way about myself, and I'm not really that way. So the f*ck WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!?!?!??!?!?!??!?! I look sad, don't abandon me. Don't treat me like a reject. Don't fucking spit on me. Don't torture me. Am I the ONLY one who would want to come in and help someone when they are in need of help? It doesn't matter if someone is hanging on to the edge of a cliff, and if that person is in tears. That person needs help, and I'm going to help him/her whether or not he/she is in tears, or looks all happy and f*cking dandy that he/she might die soon and leave his family or friends.

This makes people look REALLY f*cking shallow I can't stand it