Quiet in Groups?

[Higolo]

To the person who'd rather stay at home than go out and be 'exposed'... Self-fulfilling prophecy comes to mind, mate.

The longer you try to hide from the anxiety provoking situation, the worse it'll be when you face it.

So... GO OUT AND FIGHT, Mo' fo! :-D

 

[Darkdriver]

I also feel the same. I never find exactly the moment to start speaking, I begin to think about it, again and again, and it becomes more difficult every time.

 

[Lone-Wolf]

whenever I talk ppl say huh or speak up....so i just don't talk :/

 

[Noca]

I hate groups with a passion!

 

[Emmmmy]

I can never seem to find a way to jump into group conversations- I keep waiting for a time when I won't be "interrupting" someone else, and the requisite pause never happens, or if it does, what I have to say is no longer relevant to the conversation. QUOTE]

This sums it up so well!
Typically, I make a couple of attempts early on to get a foothold in the conversation, than eventually just zone out & keep quiet!

I think it's just low dominance behaviour. Alot of the time I think most of us are just 'being polite' and letting others finish having their say. But it probably just comes across as not having anything to say.

 

[Queen_Of_Pain]

I can never seem to find a way to jump into group conversations- I keep waiting for a time when I won't be "interrupting" someone else, and the requisite pause never happens, or if it does, what I have to say is no longer relevant to the conversation. QUOTE]

This sums it up so well!
Typically, I make a couple of attempts early on to get a foothold in the conversation, than eventually just zone out & keep quiet!

I think it's just low dominance behaviour. Alot of the time I think most of us are just 'being polite' and letting others finish having their say. But it probably just comes across as not having anything to say.

I can relate to this too. Like you're waiting for the right time to say something, and the right time comes and goes and you feel frustrated with yourself but really it was not your falt but some other loudmouth who couldn't keep his or her mouth zipped shut.

I especially hate it when I finally make a valid point and the 'information' I put into the conversation gets added onto someone elses opinion which they are then later congratulated on. It's just so out of order how people shout others down before they've even had the chance to speak. *jumpes up and down in frustration*

 

[FarmerJohn]

I definitely love talking to one person one on one rather having to talk to everyone in a group. I take much pride in intently listening to what that person, whoever that may be, is talking about. But when it comes to group, I think I don't really like talking that much. I just listen and blurt out a one liner or two a couple of times.

 

[BeauZa]

Curls: Your case is quite similar to mine. I can handle a one-on-one conversation, but when there is three or more people in the group, the other 2+ people just start talking and I just end up sitting there being the quiet one.

Do you have Aspergers Syndrome or High-Functioning Autism? The symptoms sound familiar...

 

[ffeev223234]

i see everyone here and i have dealt with this
i think we should provide some advice on how to improve from these situations.

for example,
remove all the doubt you have about fitting in a group and agree to what most of the group likes and dislikes or try to talk like them(not to the point you r mimicking them but use vocabularies that they would use base on what you hear from them)

 

[Fliken]

I actually find 1-1 conversation to be tougher most of the times due to the fact that it feels like it is up to me to keep the conversation going and 100 % of the attention is directed towards me at all time even if im not speaking.

When I am in a group of several people i quite enjoy being able to sit back and relax and let the others take care of the conversation (although if I find i must contribute to something or that I have a point to make it is ofcourse nearly impossible to say something unless i've been a part of the conversation from the whole beginning.

 

[Anomaly]

I prefer smaller groups as I don't have to put in a lot of work to get the attention of others. I usually stay silent when in large groups.

 

[illuminationSP]

I can definitely relate to this, you described my situation. Sometimes, it is even this way with one person. I usually don't worry about others finding me boring, I know I'm not.

 

[MaryA]

I can relate to this... this is something I started working on about 2 yrs ago (I'm 45). One on one I'd be fine, but in groups I would just sit there. I would feel like well if I say something I'm going to have to speak up so they can hear me, and they probably wont hear me so why bother. And to be the center of attention scared me, so for years, when in a group, there I was just sitting there. I felt stupid, thought people were thinking I was boring, etc... those nasty negative thoughts. Then finally I started working on it and I started when there were just a couple people other than me (not such a big group) and went from there. I still am working on it though, like if I'm in a group where I don't know any of them very well, I will sit there and just listen, but that's okay, I will get there eventually.

 

[Nack]

My instructor asked us a question. "How many people do you need in a group, until one stop talking?"


The answer is 3.

 

[lollipop103]

It's a lot easier to talk and not be conscious of what you say when you're talking one-on-one. For me at least.

 

[Barra79]

Ye i can relate to this, a weird thing i find is in work id get on with everyone great individualy, but if ther was a few of us together id shut down, its like id have a different relationship with everyone, different people bring out different parts of my personality, then when ther all together i dont know how to act, i just panic