Question for those in a relationship....

[justsomebloke25]

OK, I finally have my first proper girlfriend and I'm afraid I'm going to mess it up so I need advice please! Things seem to have been going really well, we've been speaking to each other daily and see each other as much as we can.

So anyway, we were talking on the phone on saturday night and she says to call her tomorrow so we can arrange going out. So, I rang her on sunday but she didn't answer (but she knows I rang cos it shows up on her mobile, right?). So I left it a few hours but she didn't call back so I texted her saying I'd really like to see her. Again she didn't reply. So I gave up on her for the day. Then I woke up on Monday and thought I'd try again so I rang her in the morning but she didn't answer again. I waited for her to ring back again but she didn't so I texted her saying I was worried about her and really wanted to hear from her. By now i'm thinking that maybe she's had enough of me and wants me to leave her alone.

About 7 hours after that she rang me acting like nothings wrong. So I asked her why she's been ignoring me and she said that her mum has been going through a hard time and needed her. That's fair enough...

But my question is: Is it wrong for me to be annoyed with her for not taking a minute to let me know that earlier instead of ignoring me for 2 days?

I'm not sure whether I'm being too overbearing or she's being thoughtless?? All viewpoints welcome!!!

 

[black_mamba]

About 7 hours after that she rang me acting like nothings wrong. So I asked her why she's been ignoring me and she said that her mum has been going through a hard time and needed her. That's fair enough...

But my question is: Is it wrong for me to be annoyed with her for not taking a minute to let me know that earlier instead of ignoring me for 2 days?

Hey, you sound a lot like my partner when we first started dating, although I was the one nervous about being overbearing, he was the one who was terrified of messing things up so early on as I was his first girlfriend.

Not everyone needs as much relationship reassurance as we do. Some people may not even understand the need to communicate so often and see such long breaks as normal, but obviously others don't and hence problems arise. Why don't you speak to her about it if the problem continues? I think its too soon to say anything, especially if she is genuine about her mother. It's hard to tell.

Give it some time, then talk about it together (if you're comfortable about it of course). That's what I would do anyway. Good luck!

 

[stardog]

All I can suggest from (limited) experience is: be casual. Women hate a clingy guy. You gotta get the balance right. Give her space, and if she's serious about the relationship she'll call you

 

[justsomebloke25]

Not everyone needs as much relationship reassurance as we do.

Yeah, that's what i'm thinking. I'm not sure if it's my paranoid insecurities making me feel this way or whether she really is being flakey with me. That's why I thought i'd post (seeing as I don't have any friends to ask about it! ).

Thanks to both of you for the advice

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

Why is it that people treat us SP people like shit, ignoring us all the time? They think we dont have feelings too? "Normal" people suck :evil: :x

 

[allanboy]

I guess the fact is that the people that we want attention from, dont give us all that attention that we were waiting for.
And some paranoia screw stuck in your brain wont help that.

See justsomeblocke´s case(mine as well).

Actually, this just came into mind, a question that i do everyday. How much would you pay to have a passionate lover, who cares and worries about you as much as you would to her. That would phone everyday to just hear your words, and would often pass by your house to see you.

Damnit, i´d give a leg away for that

 

[Remus]

All I can suggest from (limited) experience is: be casual. Women hate a clingy guy. You gotta get the balance right. Give her space, and if she's serious about the relationship she'll call you

yup

that some it up, you sound clingy to me, early on in a rel you have to be cool like the fonz, dont get obsessive or anything

 

[justsomebloke25]

Turns out I was right to be worried. She's just told me she slept with another bloke on Sunday night.

Life's just fucking wonderful isn't it?

 

[allanboy]

Tsc, sorry to hear that :?

 

[blubs]

yeesh...what a cow, sorry to hear that...jsb

 

[Remus]

Turns out I was right to be worried. She's just told me she slept with another bloke on Sunday night.

Life's just fucking wonderful isn't it?

move on mate, she wasnt worth it

you know you are fancyable atleast, take confidence from that

and next time it might be miss right

 

[Skyla]

OK, I finally have my first proper girlfriend and I'm afraid I'm going to mess it up so I need advice please! Things seem to have been going really well, we've been speaking to each other daily and see each other as much as we can.

So anyway, we were talking on the phone on saturday night and she says to call her tomorrow so we can arrange going out. So, I rang her on sunday but she didn't answer (but she knows I rang cos it shows up on her mobile, right?). So I left it a few hours but she didn't call back so I texted her saying I'd really like to see her. Again she didn't reply. So I gave up on her for the day. Then I woke up on Monday and thought I'd try again so I rang her in the morning but she didn't answer again. I waited for her to ring back again but she didn't so I texted her saying I was worried about her and really wanted to hear from her. By now i'm thinking that maybe she's had enough of me and wants me to leave her alone.

About 7 hours after that she rang me acting like nothings wrong. So I asked her why she's been ignoring me and she said that her mum has been going through a hard time and needed her. That's fair enough...

But my question is: Is it wrong for me to be annoyed with her for not taking a minute to let me know that earlier instead of ignoring me for 2 days?

I'm not sure whether I'm being too overbearing or she's being thoughtless?? All viewpoints welcome!!!

omg, reading that was like reading my diary, lol. da exact same thing has happened to me. i text and nothing back for days, so i play it "cool" and dont call him or anything. i just wait for a reply. then when he does reply or when i evetually call again, its "i was busy with my mum. my mum needed me" etc etc. and i completely understand that, but why is it so hard to spend 2 minutes sending me a simple 10p text to let me know! its so annoying. he doesnt know how i feel seeing as i act "cool" about it.
but all i cud think was "is he ignoring me? i have done something wrong, has he lost interest" etc etc. horrible feeling. i think it can be quite thoughtless to be honest, but seeing as i have social phobia, im not sure if its me over reating and over worrying or if it is actually thoughtless.

 

[Remus]

I think the secret is not to be too "full on" at first, I know I too can be guilty of that at first, these days I'm far more casual in my approach