Pushing People Away at Record Speed

[liveindreams]

I can't stop pushing people away and alienating everyone. If I even suspect for a second people do not like me I start to let that come out by saying or doing non-friendly things. I think everyone is against me and talking behind my back, laughing at me, etc so I treat them accordingly. If I feel like I'm not getting enough affection or attention from the person I'm seeing, even if I've only been seeing them for a few weeks, I get upset and I ask them why they don't do this or that which in turn pushes them away. I want to be loved and liked so bad but even when I share good times with friends as soon as I leave them I feel like it was all fake and they don't even like me at all. What can I do? Sometimes I make a conscious decision to just not try and talk to people anymore and the ones that come to me will be my real friends. Other times I feel that's not a way to live and then I'm disappointed when I feel I don't get out what I put in. What can I do?

 

[DeadmanWalking]

It sounds like you have trust issues. But, usually when I begin to think that someone is lying to me, I take a step back and objectively ask myself, "Have they shown any signs of lying to me lately?". It also helps for me to have an outside opinion on these types of things. There will be signs of treachery in people that you will notice if they're talking about you behind you back, I promise. Just know that not everyone is out to get you and that everyone deserves a chance to earn trust. It's alright to ask for explanations for weird happenings, just don't go overboard with them, okay? Sometimes, things just come up unexpectedly. So, "Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst" and believe only what you see (if that made any sense:.

Another route is to just tell that "voice" of yours to shut up. Don't let it have an opinion on your views of people. But, a counselor/therapist could probably handle situations like this better.

 

[Bustn Justin]

I have trust issues myself since I have been made fun of when I was younger and was left out of things.

Hlowever I am now around some cool guys and its taking me a long time to be open with them and want to do things with them.

I talked about this in my last therapy visit and I was told that I need to be more assertive. The reason for this is that I if someone isn't treating me well I can stand up for myself. If they don't respect that then move forward.