dottie
Well-known member
background:
i'm 28y/o living at home while attending college and working. i'm socially inept but functioning. the other people living in this house are my mom and her husband. i have been living here now for a little over a year.
problem:
i have discovered on two different accounts that my mom complains to others outside the home that i don't talk. apparently when people ask her how i am doing, instead of simply telling them that i am fine, she says she wouldn't know. she tells people that i don't talk to her or her husband.
why can't she simply tell people that i am doing well?
why does she have to create drama?
after 28 years of my existence why does she act like my demeanor is a sudden surprise? as if it's anything new.
my social dis-ease in the home:
i am socially inept. when i live with people i do not know how to talk to them, so i don't. basically i pretend that i am invisible so that they do not have to be bothered by my presence (nor i theirs). i don't really speak until spoken to, i barely engage in small talk, even then i only say things like, "OK," "alright," "thanks." sometimes i say hi. and if they say hi, i definitely say hi back. *shrug*
why can't they just accept that i do not want to talk? why is the pressure ON ME to be the one to initiate speaking if they want me to talk so badly?
oh yeah, and if you have read this far and are wondering why my mom would suddenly make an issue of this... i don't think she genuinely cares if i talk. she is the one who conditioned me to not talk in the first place. growing up she never greeted me and she never engaged in direct, mature conversation with me (there was a lot of emotional neglect). she only suddenly "cares" because her husband probably made a comment to her. if her husband cares, she cares. it is something about me she can pick on.
selective mutistm?
i am just wondering if this is selective mutism. i find it hard to even say hi. when they are in the same room as me i panic inside. i can't think of anything to say. i just freeze up and try to get out of there as soon as possible. it isn't as bad around my mom. it is worse if it is her husband. he is a great guy. i have no problem with him. but when he is around me i panic inside. and it's not just him. i have had other living arrangements where i would experience the same thing. i know it's all social anxiety but i am wondering if this qualifies as selective mutism.
i'm 28y/o living at home while attending college and working. i'm socially inept but functioning. the other people living in this house are my mom and her husband. i have been living here now for a little over a year.
problem:
i have discovered on two different accounts that my mom complains to others outside the home that i don't talk. apparently when people ask her how i am doing, instead of simply telling them that i am fine, she says she wouldn't know. she tells people that i don't talk to her or her husband.
why can't she simply tell people that i am doing well?
why does she have to create drama?
after 28 years of my existence why does she act like my demeanor is a sudden surprise? as if it's anything new.
my social dis-ease in the home:
i am socially inept. when i live with people i do not know how to talk to them, so i don't. basically i pretend that i am invisible so that they do not have to be bothered by my presence (nor i theirs). i don't really speak until spoken to, i barely engage in small talk, even then i only say things like, "OK," "alright," "thanks." sometimes i say hi. and if they say hi, i definitely say hi back. *shrug*
why can't they just accept that i do not want to talk? why is the pressure ON ME to be the one to initiate speaking if they want me to talk so badly?
oh yeah, and if you have read this far and are wondering why my mom would suddenly make an issue of this... i don't think she genuinely cares if i talk. she is the one who conditioned me to not talk in the first place. growing up she never greeted me and she never engaged in direct, mature conversation with me (there was a lot of emotional neglect). she only suddenly "cares" because her husband probably made a comment to her. if her husband cares, she cares. it is something about me she can pick on.
selective mutistm?
i am just wondering if this is selective mutism. i find it hard to even say hi. when they are in the same room as me i panic inside. i can't think of anything to say. i just freeze up and try to get out of there as soon as possible. it isn't as bad around my mom. it is worse if it is her husband. he is a great guy. i have no problem with him. but when he is around me i panic inside. and it's not just him. i have had other living arrangements where i would experience the same thing. i know it's all social anxiety but i am wondering if this qualifies as selective mutism.
