I grew up being abused by parents physically, mentaly. I still have nightmares of my childhood. I feel I haven't had chances to learn how to make relationships with people.
I don't know how to make mutual understading. I know how I feel, but can't empathize with others unless they express it in an..I think.. certain special way such as art.
This lack of skills to naturally understand and care about others makes me think that I'm not a person good enough to be friend with, to exist.
Usually I burst into feelings and express it to people, but I feel that might be not a good way to communicate. When I make art I go through the same process and it works well all the time. But in communication, no.
I want so badly someone who can share this strong feelings, and want to know them and be influenced by them. I don't know if I just haven't found someone good for me, or just that I can't access them because I'm not qualified to make relationships with them.
I am a coward, maybe.
I don't know how to make mutual understading. I know how I feel, but can't empathize with others unless they express it in an..I think.. certain special way such as art.
This lack of skills to naturally understand and care about others makes me think that I'm not a person good enough to be friend with, to exist.
Usually I burst into feelings and express it to people, but I feel that might be not a good way to communicate. When I make art I go through the same process and it works well all the time. But in communication, no.
I want so badly someone who can share this strong feelings, and want to know them and be influenced by them. I don't know if I just haven't found someone good for me, or just that I can't access them because I'm not qualified to make relationships with them.
I am a coward, maybe.
