Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Finished my first week of orientation for my new job. Was in training classes all week and then finally shadowed for my actual job today. Had a lot thrown at me and will continue to have that for the next 3 weeks. I'm honestly enjoying it so far though! This is the most training I've ever had with any job, so I'm feeling pretty thankful for that. The people I've worked with so far have been pretty nice and I also haven't had any bad gut feelings about anything. 👍
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Finished my first week of orientation for my new job. Was in training classes all week and then finally shadowed for my actual job today. Had a lot thrown at me and will continue to have that for the next 3 weeks. I'm honestly enjoying it so far though! This is the most training I've ever had with any job, so I'm feeling pretty thankful for that. The people I've worked with so far have been pretty nice and I also haven't had any bad gut feelings about anything. 👍
You're the world champion of finding jobs, ha ha.

I'm glad it looks promising, good luck!
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
You're the world champion of finding jobs, ha ha.

I'm glad it looks promising, good luck!
Thanks! I really don't know how since I'm pretty picky about where I actually want to work. But I honestly got lucky with this one. It's apparently a lot harder than I thought getting into the company I'm now working for. Already heard stories where some people wound up not hearing back for months before they were hired. 😳 You're not only competing with the public for jobs, but inside applications too from those wanting to change positions and move around. Not sure why I got hired so soon, but I'm definitely feeling thankful!
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Thanks! I really don't know how since I'm pretty picky about where I actually want to work. But I honestly got lucky with this one. It's apparently a lot harder than I thought getting into the company I'm now working for. Already heard stories where some people wound up not hearing back for months before they were hired. 😳 You're not only competing with the public for jobs, but inside applications too from those wanting to change positions and move around. Not sure why I got hired so soon, but I'm definitely feeling thankful!
Maybe you're just super qualified. Don't write-it-off as luck if you earned it! :)
 

lily

Well-known member
Sometimes I get so antisocial. People want to talk to me but I'm just not in the mood. Then they get offended because I clearly don't want to talk and they likely think it's their fault when it has nothing to do with them. Feels bad.
Oh I see so it's just about you not wanting to talk or is it feeling you have nothing good to say and that's why you don't want to talk?
 

Miserum

Well-known member
Oh I see so it's just about you not wanting to talk or is it feeling you have nothing good to say and that's why you don't want to talk?
Both I think! Depends on the timing I guess. 🤷‍♂️

At times I just don't feel like talking, yet people insist on talking to me. Then I have to force myself to be "cheery," lest they think I hate them. It can be tiresome and annoying to deal with.
 

lily

Well-known member
Both I think! Depends on the timing I guess. 🤷‍♂️

At times I just don't feel like talking, yet people insist on talking to me. Then I have to force myself to be "cheery," lest they think I hate them. It can be tiresome and annoying to deal with.
Oh ok, it sounds like people are just so into talking to you that they forget about you not wanting to talk or they don't know. why don't you say 'sorry guys (or name) or everyone, I don't feel like talking these days or right now'
 

Miserum

Well-known member
Oh ok, it sounds like people are just so into talking to you that they forget about you not wanting to talk or they don't know. why don't you say 'sorry guys (or name) or everyone, I don't feel like talking these days or right now'
Mostly because I feel that saying that would be very awkward. And it would open me up to questioning and vulnerability.

"Why aren't you feeling talkative? What's wrong? Are you depressed?" etc.
 

lily

Well-known member
Mostly because I feel that saying that would be very awkward. And it would open me up to questioning and vulnerability.

"Why aren't you feeling talkative? What's wrong? Are you depressed?" etc.
you can just say you don't want to talk about it though, hope that helps?
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
At times I just don't feel like talking, yet people insist on talking to me. Then I have to force myself to be "cheery," lest they think I hate them. It can be tiresome and annoying to deal with.
Whenever this happens to me and my brain can only seem to comprehend giving off one word answers or nothing at all, if I'm in the middle of a task I typically use that as an excuse. I'll usually say, "Sorry I'm not trying to ignore you, I just need to focus on this at the moment." I have found that most people are pretty respectful about letting you finish a job or task of some sort and the longer that task takes, the more apt they are to even forget what they were going to talk to you about (given that it was just small talk and nothing of immediate importance) and will normally just go about their own way.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
Whenever this happens to me and my brain can only seem to comprehend giving off one word answers or nothing at all, if I'm in the middle of a task I typically use that as an excuse. I'll usually say, "Sorry I'm not trying to ignore you, I just need to focus on this at the moment." I have found that most people are pretty respectful about letting you finish a job or task of some sort and the longer that task takes, the more apt they are to even forget what they were going to talk to you about (given that it was just small talk and nothing of immediate importance) and will normally just go about their own way.
That's good advice. I'll keep it in mind. 🙂

"Bill, I need to finish up here if you don't mind."
From the next bathroom stall: "Oh, sorry. I'll let you get to it Mike. We'll talk more later."

Just kidding :p. I do really think it's good advice.
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
How things change.

My neighbors now have a phobia of me; when I come out, they go in.

 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
The other day I was speaking to my mother on the phone and overheard my brother having some sort of aggravating piss-fit over something (which I still don't know what the heck it was about; knowing him, if he's in a bad mood he'll just go off about anything) and then proceeded to start an argument with my mother. It was absolutely ridiculous and makes me wish they both would just go get help. I get so tired, and angry, listening to them bitch about their lives and each other.

The men in my immediate family have become so god damn ignorant. My father is still non-existent, always using work as his excuse to ignore what's going on in his actual life -- something he's been doing for the last 15+ years. To the point where a lot of situations regarding my mother (like certain appointments or even surgeries) have been falling to me and her other family members to care for. Meanwhile he insists on controlling ALL of the finances of the household though.

My brother on the other hand is a literal narcissist and a complete asshole who needs help. I find it baffling how I'm even related to him as we are much different people. I never talk to him and when I do it's very brief. He has been back living with my parents for over a year now and not once has managed to help himself or anyone in the house. He has anger issues now and is constantly causing arguments. It makes me angry what kind of person he's turned into and it makes me angry that my parents are mostly to blame. My father quit being a parent when we were teens. My mother raised us both differently and I don't even know why. I got the brunt of a lot of verbal abuse and discipline. It's partly why I have confidence issues, anxiety, and perfectionist tendencies. My brother never got punished much. Always threatened, but never anything followed through. And now, even as an adult, my mother will just argue with him. She'll still buy his groceries and cigarettes.

Meanwhile as this goes on, my mother constantly complains to me every so often. Says she wants to move out, but has no income. Can't work due to her disability. I know there are programs that can help with that (and while American healthcare and disability-care isn't fantastic, it's at least something to pick you up), but she won't bother to look or help herself. Hell, she hasn't even bothered to go back to her doctor to even ask or referred elsewhere to get financial help! She always uses the excuse, "I don't know how to do that." or "It's all on the computer, I don't know how to do any of those things." She also refuses to divorce my father. I have never met a married couple who have acted completely separated for nearly 20 years, but still live together in the same house as roommates. It's weird. It's awkward. Holidays feel like a fake front of happiness when really everyone's miserable. And when they go somewhere together it's also slightly weird because you feel the bond isn't there.

My mother's constant coddling has partly put herself in this position and it makes me mad. If anyone can stand to be a little selfish it's her, because if she were she wouldn't be letting these men walk all over her like they do. Yeah I'm slightly victim blaming, but jesus. It all just makes me so mad, and I'm still trying to stay far away from it as possible. I'm waiting for the day where something major happens. One of my parents dies, my brother getting into serious trouble, something horrible. And I'm going to be the only one they're going to try to use as a crutch to work them out of a stupid mess because at this point I'm the only one level-headed enough and actually has their life together.

Sorry for dumping this here. It's been on my mind all week.
 
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