Possibly love-shy male?

[maddielol]

Hello. I am new to these forums and I am unsure if this is the right place.
But I possible may have a crush on a male that is love-shy.

I met him around late December. I had never met or seen anyone like him. I was smitten the moment i looked at him. I was studying at a library and he walked in::. Anyways. I never spoke to him we never spoke to each other for a month. I noticed that he was watching me. Whenever I got up from my desk his eyes met mine and when It was long enough he'd look away.. blushing and looked like he was concentrating hard to focus on his work. When he looked at me... my heart started beating. lol
The next day he sat next to me on a computer. I thought it was cute that he was walking around with socks on haha. But he kept looking at me like he wanted to talk but couldn't bring himself to. Being next to him.. made me nervous very nervous. He was fidgeting too. He had that longing look. For awhile it seemed like he was trying everything to get my attention. Walking by me a lot, strutting, looking and looking away when I look. Whenever I walk by he always looked like he got hit by a bus. All red. I finally decided to approach him.. and i told him how attractive he was. I thought it was a stupid move because his reaction confused me. He said thanks and he was blushing and he rushed me out of the room. The next day it was like he was looking for me. Since then things have gotten very weird. Its like he wanted me to go up and talk to him. I remember him following me home once.. kind of checking me out. I dont get it why can't he just talk to me.
Things have gotten to the point where he started avoiding me. Like whenever he sees me he has this startled nervous scared look on his face and he kind of runs and hides?? I dont know what I had ever done to deserve this? I remember he would always walk by pretending to look for something but he would be looking at me and walk by.

I dont know if he likes me or he hates me..
I caught him staring at me for a long time and when I looked back he looked away quickly...

I dont know what to do.
He just treats me differently than everyone. He can be friendly and nice around everyone but when I walk in this changes. And i dont get why.

 

[maddielol]

anyyyyyyone...

 

[TheManWhoUpholdsHonour]

Is he touching his face?If so then absolutely,though I think It's a much softer kind if he can look at you for a while.I would NEVER lock eyes with another girl,so I think he either knows how to handle that or is not that love shy.Without a doubt though,he is.I'd say from the events,yes he likes you and would very much like to be with you but has either convinced himself that he's not worthy/or just can't bring up the courage to talk to you.

I know it's irrational/confusing the way he acts and can be very frustratingbut you have ot understand that it's almost certain that he will not approach you,so you have to take the lead and hopefully lead him out of this.....this condition.
If he's aware that he's love shy,then he'd keep trying to find ways to get closer to you but won't talk/interact with you.If he doesn't,then I think it's safe to say that he's absolutely petrified of you.

BTW welcome,do you even have a social phobia or did you just come here for help?
And for future references,if he hated you he'd be more outgoing towards you,or would be hostile towards you.Then again,he's an introvert so he'd definately avoid you,but you say he's 'checking you out' so I don't think so.

Lastly and most importantly,If you're gonna go after him,you have to be patient,no matter what.

 

[maddielol]

Is he touching his face?If so then absolutely,though I think It's a much softer kind if he can look at you for a while.I would NEVER lock eyes with another girl,so I think he either knows how to handle that or is not that love shy.Without a doubt though,he is.I'd say from the events,yes he likes you and would very much like to be with you but has either convinced himself that he's not worthy/or just can't bring up the courage to talk to you.

I know it's irrational/confusing the way he acts and can be very frustratingbut you have ot understand that it's almost certain that he will not approach you,so you have to take the lead and hopefully lead him out of this.....this condition.
If he's aware that he's love shy,then he'd keep trying to find ways to get closer to you but won't talk/interact with you.If he doesn't,then I think it's safe to say that he's absolutely petrified of you.

BTW welcome,do you even have a social phobia or did you just come here for help?
And for future references,if he hated you he'd be more outgoing towards you,or would be hostile towards you.Then again,he's an introvert so he'd definately avoid you,but you say he's 'checking you out' so I don't think so.

Lastly and most importantly,If you're gonna go after him,you have to be patient,no matter what.

He is always around me lol. I know its silly because we study at the same place. But if he wasn't into me do you think he'd keep coming back?
I remember once he was sitting around me... and he was on a computer i look from the corner of my eye he was watching me. I finished what I was doing and i thought weird... he already has a laptop what does he need to do on a computer around me?

Yes he's always in the next room next to mine, or whenever he sees me he walks by my room a lot lol. Yes i was standing in line.. and i felt him staring at me. Oh my god i can't explain the feeling.. i had to get out of there lol..
It frustrates me that he can act calm and happy like around other people but he can't act that way around me. He never talks to me ever. Unless i approach :/

I used to be shy... USED TO BE. A few years ago::

 

[I'm Not There]

Things have gotten to the point where he started avoiding me. Like whenever he sees me he has this startled nervous scared look on his face and he kind of runs and hides?? I dont know what I had ever done to deserve this? I remember he would always walk by pretending to look for something but he would be looking at me and walk by.

I dont know if he likes me or he hates me..
I caught him staring at me for a long time and when I looked back he looked away quickly...

It seems to me that this guy loves you too, but is way too shy to tell you his feelings.

He's exactly like how I was a couple of years ago. Back then a girl told me that she loved me. Me being the epitome of shyness, never dared to tell her that I loved her too. I then did the exact same things you described; I started to "avoid" her (in reality, I was just too scared/shy to be in her vicinity), kept looking at her until she looked back (because I wanted to see her, but felt uncomfortable when we had eye contact), etc.

Don't blame yourself for anything, this guy is just extremely shy. He wants to be with you, but is afraid of a potential relationship.

 

[maddielol]

It seems to me that this guy loves you too, but is way too shy to tell you his feelings.

He's exactly like how I was a couple of years ago. Back then a girl told me that she loved me. Me being the epitome of shyness, never dared to tell her that I loved her too. I then did the exact same things you described; I started to "avoid" her (in reality, I was just too scared/shy to be in her vicinity), kept looking at her until she looked back (because I wanted to see her, but felt uncomfortable when we had eye contact), etc.

Don't blame yourself for anything, this guy is just extremely shy. He wants to be with you, but is afraid of a potential relationship.

I even gave him my email and phone number... nothing lol
well... He might have called my phone but stupid me, my number stopped working.
Woah love? Isn't that too heavy haha we don't even know each other yet

so he started avoiding me and the weirdness seriously began after I gave him my number.. lol i thought wow what am I doing? This guy isn't interested.
But then he started being around me a lot..
once he bumped into a door, and he turned red..
Asked if he was alright he just stalked off and left...

 

[Luke1993]

welcome to theforums. im guessing he likes you a lot so try talking to him, even though it may be awkward and it will look like hes not interested, he probably is but just has trouble expressing his feelings. go for it!

 

[maddielol]

welcome to theforums. im guessing he likes you a lot so try talking to him, even though it may be awkward and it will look like hes not interested, he probably is but just has trouble expressing his feelings. go for it!

Thankyou!
I want to try to understand shy or love-shy men a lot more, so that it can help
Instead of me thinking "he hates you" and beating myself up about it.

 

[Eam]

It does sound like it could be the case.

What about emailing, or calling him first? Or asking him if he wants to get a drink together or something.

 

[maddielol]

It does sound like it could be the case.

What about emailing, or calling him first? Or asking him if he wants to get a drink together or something.

I'm not used to asking guys out, will he even like that idea?
I don't know his name... We haven't spoken a lot he never speaks to me or says hi unless I talk to him first..
He says hi to everyone else though..

 

[Eam]

I'm not used to asking guys out, will he even like that idea?
I don't know his name... We haven't spoken a lot he never speaks to me or says hi unless I talk to him first..
He says hi to everyone else though..

Do girls view asking a guy out as a bad thing?

But I didn't really mean that, more just sitting down together somewhere to chat or something. Not a date. I'm sorry but guys like us can be oblivious to someone showing interest, or even if it's noticed we convince ourselves either we're not good enough or it must be some sort of game or something. You really have to take the initiate and keep making your intentions as clear as possible all the way. It's unlikely he's going to move things forward by the sound of things.

Personally, the email option would have been enough for me to chat - I'd avoid calling. So that's the bit that confuses me the most.

 

[maddielol]

Do girls view asking a guy out as a bad thing?

But I didn't really mean that, more just sitting down together somewhere to chat or something. Not a date. I'm sorry but guys like us can be oblivious to someone showing interest, or even if it's noticed we convince ourselves either we're not good enough or it must be some sort of game or something. You really have to take the initiate and keep making your intentions as clear as possible all the way. It's unlikely he's going to move things forward by the sound of things.

Personally, the email option would have been enough for me to chat - I'd avoid calling. So that's the bit that confuses me the most.

Why would you avoid calling?
Yeah it seems like he won't initiate conversation..
Ah I kind of dislike that I have to do all of the work.

 

[718]

hes obviously extremely shy and hes obviously attracted to you. take this advice from someone whos 95% like the guy you're talking about

honestly I would ignore and move on unless you're willing to put in a LOT of work trying to get him to open up/talk to you. you said you gave him your number...well you're gonna have to do more than that. you have to constantly initiate convo and express interest to reassure this guy you're into him. this guy is also probably inexperienced with girls/relationships so you're also gonna have to reassure him that it doesnt bother you.

 

[TheManWhoUpholdsHonour]

Ya what 718 said.

 

[maddielol]

hes obviously extremely shy and hes obviously attracted to you. take this advice from someone whos 95% like the guy you're talking about

honestly I would ignore and move on unless you're willing to put in a LOT of work trying to get him to open up/talk to you. you said you gave him your number...well you're gonna have to do more than that. you have to constantly initiate convo and express interest to reassure this guy you're into him. this guy is also probably inexperienced with girls/relationships so you're also gonna have to reassure him that it doesnt bother you.

Hah I thought giving him my number would be good enough.
I've gone days even months without saying a peep to him... He must think I hate him

 

[shyguy83]

I'm not used to asking guys out, will he even like that idea?
I don't know his name... We haven't spoken a lot he never speaks to me or says hi unless I talk to him first..
He says hi to everyone else though..

If he is indeed love shy and you asked him out it would probably make his day. I know if a girl I kept looking at asked me out, it would make my LIFE, not day, life. Unfortunately, society says that the girl shouldn't do the asking, so I'm stuck here alone.

 

[iason]

never trust someone walking around with socks on out of his own home. lol

I dunno, it perhaps could be the most complex but bright approach ever, or it could be only... weird, but if you say that with other people he behaves in absolutely normal way, then I assume he's faking or something, he's fooling, dont know. It doesnt sound natural at all, to me.

Edit : I mean, shyness can't be "selective"... or maybe he's completely mad! sorry but anyone else do notice when he kind of run away and hide from you? I'm confused, don't know

 

[Mr isolated]

..........................

 

[Mr isolated]

................