Pls help, my story with ocd

[p3stic1de]

Hi guys,

I think ive had these compulsions and anxiety since my junior high school and now I am 24. Just recently researched what is OCD etc, to be honest I`ve never understand what OCD is.. till now.

My problem is that i have such a great anxiety and compulsions, and i felt that I needed to do such Rituals over and over again.. to check things are right and such. i did try to talk bout this to my family.. but i dont think they quite understand about this matter. Lucky my girlfriend actually studies psychology.. and she understands quite a bit bout this matter.

Let me straight asap, I have such compulsions and anxiety over these:

1. When i look at subtitles, either in movies or etc.. i felt that i need to repeat those text, repeat it over and over again.. so i feel satisfied

2. When i look at pictures, object, persons face.. i would try to remind them all in my imagination and thoughts to be exactly the same.. if not, then ill start it over and over again till i satisfied

3. I used to repeat text in the textbook or whatsoever

4. I check my HDTV settings, PS3 settings over and over again just to make sure it is right

5. I check my cabbles in my TV

Those are the things that I could remember, I`ve seen such help from www.ocd-gone-in-seven-days.com with derek soto

and im planning to go see a psychiatrist and buy an OCD workbook

For now.. my compulsions and anxiety is calming down, cause i did expose myself to my compulsions and HOLD it back.. though it creates such a great anxiety I just put it back on my mind and try not to think about it ( YES IT HARD, I KNOW)

But yere after several days, it seems that my compulsions is calming down.. though the thoughts of wanting to check things are still there..

Anyone had the same experiences with me?

Am I having OCD or just a great anxiety?

Kindly Advise,

P3stic1de

 

[pandamonium77]

Do you have obsessions? I.e. intrusive, gruesome thoughts that make you cringe and your stomach knotted up like a pretzel?
And why do you check things over and over? Do you feel like you need to or that there's a certain reason you need to; like you won't absorb the information unless you do it x amount of times?
But yea, this sounds like OCD to me

 

[p3stic1de]

Not in particular with obsessions i guess..

Ummm nope, i dont have those feeling like grind my teeth or whatsoever.. I felt that I just want to do it, I want things to be perfect so I do it over and over again.. with no reasons.

Intrusive thoughts? maybe.. because i actually hate it when I get distracted, it makes me start to checking things from the start again ( I know, it sux ). But I felt that i just need to do it.



Hmmm.. I am getting OCD workbook atm, but do you think.. you`ve ever had something similar like mine?

 

[Ashiene]

I have all of those obsessions/compulsions too, but I have a few more than you, for example, when I read a sentence, I must always count the number of words in that sentence, and see if the number is words is even or odd. When it's an even number of words, I get extreme satisfaction.

Also, I have this very tempting urge to leap in front of a moving vehicle or jump out of a moving vehicle, and also to jump out of a window or a high place, that is why I always lock vehicle doors when I'm in vehicle and I never go to a high, unsafe place, and always have a grille over the windows or lock it.

 

[Tyguy]

OCD is an anxiety disorder, that's where it stems. It's a self-learned disease with the help of serotonin deficiency. To answer your question, yes, I would say you have OCD. You must understand that every time you surrender to your thoughts/worries/anxiety you are only reinforcing those thoughts and therefore rendering any future compulsions harder to ignore.

It's good to see that you are finally buckling down and trying to fix the problem. I'm 25 and I've had OCD for about 14 years. Just trust me when I say that giving in to your thoughts is the worst thing you can do.

good luck

 

[p3stic1de]

Phew.. I guess am not all alone out there struggling with this anxiety. Lucky that I joined this forum and actually know people do care and share their story. It actually makes me feel better. besides of that, my missus has been very understanding, and shes helped me a lot when I struggled with it.. how much i love her

Tomorrow im meeting with a psychiatrist, lets see what he gonna say about me because ive never been diagnosed before.. Hopefully my OCD is mild one. Coz i never have such thoughts as killing or hurting people.

But hey, I know its hard when we expose our self and trigger the compulsion or anxiety. BUT TRUST ME! when u are able to hold it back.. calm your self.. do some kind of breathing technique.. think positive.. do meditation at least 10 minutes ( i do it 3 times a day, 10 mins per session )

Try to hold it down.. because the more we do those compulsions, the more our BRAIN is programmed to follow such pattern and become a habit.

For all of OCD sufferers out there, LETS BE FREE! GET OURSELVES BACK AND HAPPY AGAIN AS A NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD NORMALLY BE! START FROM THIS MOMENT YOU READ MY STORY!

We control our OCD, OCD cant control us!

 

[Tyguy]

Let me know how your appointment goes, I'm interested in what the doc has to say.

 

[p3stic1de]

oh yea, forgot to ask you Tyguy, how do u go with your OCD? what kind of sensation you have? have u completely dealt with your OCD for good?

I dont wanna say SYMPTOMS coz it sounds like an ILLNESS.. just for people to be aware, OCD is not A MENTAL PROBLEM, ITS NOT! its only a BEHAVIORAL PROBLEM, we are NORMAL and it can be tackled easily if we "want" to.

Yea, Tyguy.. ill let u know how i went with that doctor.

 

[Tyguy]

oh yea, forgot to ask you Tyguy, how do u go with your OCD? what kind of sensation you have? have u completely dealt with your OCD for good?

As far as my compulsions go, my OCD is minimal. However, on the obsession side of the house is a completely different story. Although I have had far less obsessional thoughts compared to a year ago, they are still there and this still impacts my anxiety, leading sometimes to depression. I'm not out of the woods yet.

I dont wanna say SYMPTOMS coz it sounds like an ILLNESS.. just for people to be aware, OCD is not A MENTAL PROBLEM, ITS NOT! its only a BEHAVIORAL PROBLEM, we are NORMAL and it can be tackled easily if we "want" to.

It's more of an anxiety problem. THe primary reason people give in to their OCD is the fear of the impending anxiety that will occur if they do. You're right though, it is not an illness. There is nothing wrong with us, it's just learned responses and reinforced thoughts that keep our minds jumbled. I'd like to think of it as a dislocated shoulder (read about when that happened to me from OCD Meds -> Link to blog post about it) in that there is definitely a physical problem (lack of serotonin, etc) but you are not ill.

 

[p3stic1de]

Went to see my psychiatrist, a nice guy. He actually listened to everything that i said. He told me that i am normal..

He didnt want to diagnose me yet, because hes saying that.. if we actually diagnose a person who is normal with OCD. He would eventually think that he is sick, then become OCD for real. But after all.. we spoke chat, he gave me examples and all of that..

He told me that i might need not to see him again, cause I can tackle it by myself, hes saying that im okay.. ill be fine which is good i guess..

But if things don't go well, hed be happily to help me and had another session of counselling.

But yere guys, the power of mind. TRY TO BEAT THAT INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS or whatsoever..

Just accept it and let it go.. do not avoid the thoughts..

Instead try to calm yourself and THINK RATIONALLY

hope my story helps

But i feel much better today, the urge of repeating and checking is still there.. but im getting out of this sux feeling, soon i will be able to completely focus and make my anxiety gone for good.

 

[Natched]

I'd agree with most people that it sounds a lot like OCD, but I am not a doctor and you should definitely see one. This is what psychiatrists do, they deal with problems just like these and there's lots of help out there. One problem is getting a first visit with a psychiatrist which can take forever. A good first stop is just seeing your GP doctor who can give you a first opinion and maybe recommend a psychiatrist who would be good for this.

Also I really liked the book "Obsessive-compulsive disorders: a complete guide to getting well and staying well" by Fred Penzel. It's not a workbook but it does explain a lot about OCD and tells you the basic practices for getting better.