theoffspring
New member
Hello everyone,
This is my first post on this forum. Let me give you a background to my story. I'm 23 and graduated college last year. I never had any problems except shyness and some social anxiety (at least which I thought) up until freshman year of college. I never thought I had OCD, and I thought I only had social anxiety. In freshman year, I started experiencing a lot of anger and obsessive thoughts with my roomate. I would constantly think what are they doing and wondering if they are looking at me. I also would think everything action they would do was in response to me. Anyways, my sleeping habits suffered because I would always get anxiety and anger while trying to fall asleep. I could not sleep like I used to, and the thoughts kept compounding. The only time I could sleep without thinking these things was when I drank.
Sophomore year I had the same problems, and it got even worse. I did not think I had OCD, but rather social anxiety. I went to see psychiatrists and a therapist. I don't think we ever got to the root of the matter, but I was put on a plethora of medications. I tried zoloft up until the max dosage, effexor, celexa...etc. I think all these medications made my problems worse today. I finally was put on Lexapro senior year. This worked out the best for me. Little side effects, and things were slightly better (but I also had my own room). I was on 20mg max. I also did not like the medication b/c it caused me to be emotionless and tired a lot. But I did sleep better.
In between the sleeping problem, other obsessive thoughts would pop up. I would constantly come up with a new thought and realized it would annoy me so I knew I was going to keep thinking about it. It's like I'm trying to find new ways to annoy myself, but consciously it's the worst thing in the world. Examples would be driving in my car and constantly thinking about the car in front of me, and the possibility of hitting it. It made driving so much worse, because instead of relaxingly driving, I have to constantly think about this.
Also, I have a hard time driving anybody, and doing anything in front of people for that matter. I get very nervous and think they are constantly looking at me or judging me. This makes driving even more of a hassle when I have someone else in the car, and makes it dangerous. I do everything a lot better when I'm alone, which is really depressing and hinders my activity in life. Is anyone else like this? I would rather drive alone or do work alone, because I won't have these paranoid thoughts or feel like I'm "performing".
All these things I can live with, it just annoys me. I now live alone in my own apartment, but things have gotten so much worse, especially sleeping wise. I am always thinking of new things to obsess about. I obsess about my breathing constantly, and how to breathe. I know it annoys me but I cannot stop. Also, when I do work or anything I obsess over ridiculous things that will distract me. For example, I cannot watch TV because I obsess over staring at the green light on my tv, or looking at other things around the room while I'm watching. I just want to focus on the TV. I can't concentrate like I used to. Obsessions come and go, and I'll think of a new one if one passes. If I'm not obsessing over breathing, I'll obsess over blinking or the movements of my face. Does anyone else think of a new annoying obsession to add to the rotation frequently?
The past week or so, I cannot sleep whatsoever. It is really upsetting, and is now getting to the point where I cannot take it anymore. I don't know what to do. I cannot see a doctor for a week or so because I'm driving halfway cross country home. I wanted to see if any of you have any tips on how to deal with obsessions while sleeping, or vitamins i can take until I can see a doctor. My new obsession is when sleeping, I constantly think about my lips and lips touching. I then think about my breathing through my nose. If my lips are open, I think I'm not breathing right through my mouth, so then my lips close and I think I shouldn't be just breathing through my nose. It sounds ridiculous but I basically forgot how to sleep and breathe during sleep. Can anyone help? I might be alone in these obsessions, but does anyone have any tips? Thanks so much for reading my post.
This is my first post on this forum. Let me give you a background to my story. I'm 23 and graduated college last year. I never had any problems except shyness and some social anxiety (at least which I thought) up until freshman year of college. I never thought I had OCD, and I thought I only had social anxiety. In freshman year, I started experiencing a lot of anger and obsessive thoughts with my roomate. I would constantly think what are they doing and wondering if they are looking at me. I also would think everything action they would do was in response to me. Anyways, my sleeping habits suffered because I would always get anxiety and anger while trying to fall asleep. I could not sleep like I used to, and the thoughts kept compounding. The only time I could sleep without thinking these things was when I drank.
Sophomore year I had the same problems, and it got even worse. I did not think I had OCD, but rather social anxiety. I went to see psychiatrists and a therapist. I don't think we ever got to the root of the matter, but I was put on a plethora of medications. I tried zoloft up until the max dosage, effexor, celexa...etc. I think all these medications made my problems worse today. I finally was put on Lexapro senior year. This worked out the best for me. Little side effects, and things were slightly better (but I also had my own room). I was on 20mg max. I also did not like the medication b/c it caused me to be emotionless and tired a lot. But I did sleep better.
In between the sleeping problem, other obsessive thoughts would pop up. I would constantly come up with a new thought and realized it would annoy me so I knew I was going to keep thinking about it. It's like I'm trying to find new ways to annoy myself, but consciously it's the worst thing in the world. Examples would be driving in my car and constantly thinking about the car in front of me, and the possibility of hitting it. It made driving so much worse, because instead of relaxingly driving, I have to constantly think about this.
Also, I have a hard time driving anybody, and doing anything in front of people for that matter. I get very nervous and think they are constantly looking at me or judging me. This makes driving even more of a hassle when I have someone else in the car, and makes it dangerous. I do everything a lot better when I'm alone, which is really depressing and hinders my activity in life. Is anyone else like this? I would rather drive alone or do work alone, because I won't have these paranoid thoughts or feel like I'm "performing".
All these things I can live with, it just annoys me. I now live alone in my own apartment, but things have gotten so much worse, especially sleeping wise. I am always thinking of new things to obsess about. I obsess about my breathing constantly, and how to breathe. I know it annoys me but I cannot stop. Also, when I do work or anything I obsess over ridiculous things that will distract me. For example, I cannot watch TV because I obsess over staring at the green light on my tv, or looking at other things around the room while I'm watching. I just want to focus on the TV. I can't concentrate like I used to. Obsessions come and go, and I'll think of a new one if one passes. If I'm not obsessing over breathing, I'll obsess over blinking or the movements of my face. Does anyone else think of a new annoying obsession to add to the rotation frequently?
The past week or so, I cannot sleep whatsoever. It is really upsetting, and is now getting to the point where I cannot take it anymore. I don't know what to do. I cannot see a doctor for a week or so because I'm driving halfway cross country home. I wanted to see if any of you have any tips on how to deal with obsessions while sleeping, or vitamins i can take until I can see a doctor. My new obsession is when sleeping, I constantly think about my lips and lips touching. I then think about my breathing through my nose. If my lips are open, I think I'm not breathing right through my mouth, so then my lips close and I think I shouldn't be just breathing through my nose. It sounds ridiculous but I basically forgot how to sleep and breathe during sleep. Can anyone help? I might be alone in these obsessions, but does anyone have any tips? Thanks so much for reading my post.