Please Help Me

[scaredlittlegirl]

Hi.
I'm 18 years old.
I have been having panic attacks since... i guess 14. Anyways... as i grew up they got worse.
They use to where i was going to get my heart broken and the boy i like dumped me or whatever (still happens too) But then they grew into someone is going to kill me and i come out of the attack almost as im about to die. Gradually they grew into the people i love and care about dying, i mean, shot, stabbed, beat to death... and in these attacks its almost as if im living in them.. they are so real to me. I have at least one EVERY night, sometimes during the day ill get one. I try to fight them, but when i do, i get them worse. The one tonight actually made me sick. really sick.
I'm scared. I just want them to go away.
I have been told to go to a physciatrist... but i dont want medicine to "make" me happy. These attacks are effecting everything in my life though and i dont know what to do.
theyve gotten so bad... i have to sleep with my blankey STILL and check under the bed. I NEED the TV to sleep... i am 18 years old. If i am alone in the dark, i will scream until someone gets me or tuns a light on... im truly terrified.. .i think if i move, someone will jump out and kill me. I dont want to be this paranoid. i need help.

 

[mermaid]

honey you need to go get help asap!! don't think of it as medicine that is going to "make" you happy. they will assist you in ways to come up with a plan to HELP you get these thoughts out of your head. Do you want to live with this forever? because if you don't get help you will, and that is no way to live. i had those same thoughts from watching too many murder mysteries and living in a city where all you hear about is gang fights, and murders etc..... ,but contstantly fearing the unknown took over my life and I almost lost my job, friends etc... you can't let this thing beat you, and getting help from someone is the first step to recovery. please do it for yourself and start putting your foot down on this thing. You are in control not your worry. please keep me posted on how things are going. good luck!

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Scared Little Girl,
You say that you need help. You also recognise that these thoughts of being under attack are not in keeping with reality.

This means that whilst you have some irrational thoughts, you also have rational ones. In other words there is therefore the potential for you to get past them.

My advice is to follow your instincts to find help. But to find someone who treats you as a person. To find a person with whom you feel comfortable talking to, who respects your wish and desire to not depend on medication. Although, perhaps keep something of an openmind; being that, what if it turned out that medication would help just as a temporary aid to lift your emotions that you are feeling (they say that some have a chemical basis) and get you a bit of leverage and then you can more easily sort through your thoughts and feelings and deal with them.

But, pay attention to what is good within what is bad. ...I don't mean to get Biblical on you, but one of the greatest psychotherapists that ever existed said: 'Your eyes are a light for the body." Meaning that the power of looking at things with a correct and solution-based perspective -ie: acknowledge the good within the bad, the sanity within the insanity -this is in fact the only truly sane perspective that exists. More than simple positive thinking, it is the purest reason. ...so look for help if you want this, keeping in mind that what is helpful solves the negative because at the same time it works from the basis of what is positive. In other words, believing and thinking of your condition in such a way will offer you some sense of being able to overcome what is causing your pain because it actually acknowledges the possibility of overcoming it. And you will better enable yourself to keep your own sense of independence and confidence in your self. (I say this because I my self am wary of how 'finding help' can potentially rob a person of their sense of independence and self-ability) ...bare in mind that sanity is defined by a clear perspective; so, in looking for help, find a 'professional' who demonstrates this.