Please Help Me, Living a nightmare

[islington]

The last 6 years of my life have been a nightmare. Can you tell me if i have OCD?

6 years ago my friend died and my life has just gone to **** ever since.

I had a fight with my friend when I was 16 a week before he died. My friend died of unknown circumstances and 6 years on, I have thought to myself that he might have committed suicide. This is where I have my OCD thoughts. I repeat in my head every single day of my life certain sentences. " I would have known if he killed himself" "He wouldnt have done it" "Its so hard to kill yourself". Deep down I know for sure that he died of natural causes but I just get these repetitive thoughts in my head. If these thoughts are not about my friend it could be other stupid thoughts but I just repeat them a certain amount of times in my head to make myself feel better, BUT IT JUST MAKES ME WORSE!!!.

i also had an incedent 2 years ago when on hollidays with my friends. I never went out to the pool because I fwas ashamed of my body and thought I was much skinnier than them. Ever since that holliday I have never been the same again and havnt socialised with my friends for 2 full years. When a friend rings me I dont answer the phone because I have serious social anxiety problems now.If I am in a room with people I cant leave the room to go to the toilet because I think they will start talking about me. When I say something in a conversation It comes out all wrong and I stutter.I find it very hard to get comfortable in a room. When I am out drinking I am very awkward around people and tend to try get really drunk and my worries go away but I get so drunk that I just make a fool of myself and the next day my worrying starts again and my repetitive thoughts. Im currently on Lexapro at the moment and it has helped focus a bit but my social anxiety and repeating thoughts are still there. Is this the right medication to be on?

Please can someone help me. I am starting to give up now because I have no social life what so ever anymore and every day is a struggle.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

It sounds like pure O and anxiety, it seems the trauma of losing your friend brought it on.
Im not sure if maybe you should be on lexapro and something else for the repeating thoughts. Lexapro is pretty good from what i heard. Tell or ask your psychiatrist if they feel you have OCD..tell them about the symptom of repetitive thoughts and see what they want to do...tell them the lexapro isnt helping with that symptom.

 

[islington]

It sounds like pure O and anxiety, it seems the trauma of losing your friend brought it on.
Im not sure if maybe you should be on lexapro and something else for the repeating thoughts. Lexapro is pretty good from what i heard. Tell or ask your psychiatrist if they feel you have OCD..tell them about the symptom of repetitive thoughts and see what they want to do...tell them the lexapro isnt helping with that symptom.

Thanks for the reply.I have told my doctor that the lexapro is not helping my repetitive thoughts but he said there is no medication for this kind of sickness and that seeing psychiatrist is the only medicine. I cant believe that there is no medication for this sort of thing?

I was seeing a psychiatrist a few months ago because I was unbelievably depressed and my thoughts litterly went on throughout the whole day. It was rediculous. I didnt find the psychiatrist very helpful as I told him I had OCD but He told me I dint have it and That I just had social anxiety problems. He reccommended lexapro for me. I was paying 150 euro a session for that psychiatrist so I stopped going to see him after about 6 sessions. I am currently going to see a counsellor and I dont think that is helping me either.

Regarding my friend dieing I dont know if it is guilt that I feel or just that I have OCD thoughts. I know he didnt kill himself but Its like I have got a ruitine for each ay. As soon as I start to think about it I repeat thoughts like " He wouldnt have killed himself and " If he did I would have found out" I get the thoughts a soon as I get out of bed and I just repeat them certain amount of times and then I feel relaxed for about 1 minute. Then the thouhts come back aain and I have to say them certain amount of times to make me feel better within myself.

I have been advised to look in to EFT. Has anyone ever practiced this for OCD?