Pitty

[Cool_Un_Cool]

When I was in middleschool, there was this really attractive girl who sat next to me on the bleachers in gym, I think she was trying to be nice or something. Anyways, she said "I think I'll sit here." and sat right next to me. Obviously, I was a total mute the whole time, and even eventually moved to another spot. She always treated me well, I must have seemed like a moron. She had a boyfriend so I don't believe it was anything like that, but she did acknowledge my existence.

I seem to recycle this pattern, if someone tries to reach out to me, I pull away.
Anyone else?

 

[treffin]

I think I do that, because in the past when people have spoken to me I've thought they were trying to bother me. Regardless of whether or not they were trying, they did annoy me, and that's why I didn't reply to the things they said, or respond pleasantly to their actions.

 

[proudmummy]

Ah that brings back memories! i'm only 20 but I remember in school having fellas after me that i liked and once they'd start talking to me i'd bac off and ignore them making me look like a right b*tch, although it was just to hide my shyness. I done this so many times, i was lucky enough to have lots of fellas after me but unfortunetely some of them havent forgot my ignorance and never spoke to me again. Its horrible seeing them now with their independence and realising what kind of partners i could of had if i wasnt so shy. I'm lucky I have my partner of four years but I could of had alot of male friends if i'd just known how to react to people beginning conversation. Even females i'd find intimidating, really don't know why - and i still have this feeling sometimes so i lost alot of female friends too.

 

[gobbledegook]

I remember in school having fellas after me that i liked and once they'd start talking to me i'd bac off and ignore them making me look like a right b*tch

That happened to me too but I am glad I backed off for various reasons...
I felt bad at the time but not now because I suppose SP stops me making mistakes.

 

[proudmummy]

the thing is I feel so bad now, cos all the boys were all so good to me and all my wud-b-friends went great lengths to get me "in". could of had some real great friends but I ruined it. Still, i'm starting a new job tomorrow so hopefully start afresh hehe.

 

[heretochange]

i have certainly had/have this problem for the most part. I can't ever introduce myself to people and thus when people try and be nice like that and i don't say anything it just comes off as me being a jerk. I have friends who tell me things like "you know when i met you i just thought you were some pompous jerk who thought he was too cool to talk to people, im glad i actually tried talking to you." So for most of my life ive only had new friends when they put in the effort and that usually isn't what happens. It is something we all need to work through at some point and i am slowly getting there myself. Good luck!

 

[Siren]

Oh yes. Whenever boys start trying to talk to me, you would think they were inflicting physical pain on me. I try to get away as quickly as possible, and while I'm trying to escape, I look like I couldn't be more bored or pissed off that they're talking to me.

It's horrible, but so far, I haven't been able to stop myself. This especially kills me when a boy I like tries to talk to me. Hence why I've never had a boyfriend.

 

[mesc000]

pushing people away is so much easier for me that its become second nature. I can't actually make the effort to get to know the person or give them the chance. I immediately size someone up as either threatening or not and for the most part its led to a lot of awkward situations and lost friendships.

I recently found out from my friend that her boyfriends roomate was interested in me and we all (much to my horror) went out on a double date. I couldn't even look at the guy in the eye for a long period of time during the date and after (he still wanted my number) I would not call him or avoid any plans he made go out again. Obviously that guy has stopped calling back, but this is exactly the type of pattern thats kept me isolated and miserable