I have that *10 minute brain lag * too!
sometimes I think its because I am just slow-witted....
but its more likely(I HOPE!) that when you're nervous or anxious, its harder to concentrate fully on what is being said. It can make you a bit of a target sometimes though.....because people pick up that you're less likely to have a comeback that will make them look bad.
But it doesn't mean that everyone that has ever said anything to put you on the spot is an idiot, or mean. They're just having a laugh. I don't think it helps to think of yourself as always the victim of other people. They probably don't even know you're affected so much by what they say.
I read a good piece of advice by a lovely man who's name I can't remember...but he wrote the t.v. series 'Rumpole of the baily'(think thats it .....never watched it)....
ANYWAY.....he said....WORRY LESS ABOUT BEING OFFENDED or CAUSING OFFENCE.
Which I think is good advice to people with social phobia, because we are often too sensitive.
He also suggested starting the day with a glass of champaign
which is advice I would happily take if I had the money!