theslowesthand
Banned
I've had this for many years, but thankfully it seldom occurs nowadays in a "major" way, but it happened yesterday.
Talked to sby on phone for a couple hours, then had a visitor (brother/wife). And for the rest of the day i was a NERVOUS WRECK - in my terms "ABSOLUTE STIR-CRAZY BONKERS". And awaking this morning (now), computer still running, lights still on (fell asleep), am still very very nervy or something - so i have started driinking beer, on 2nd can now. And playing some crazy-drowning-out music.
I tried everything i could think of yesterday evening, but absolutely nothing was able to barely touch this state. None of my usual things that relax me worked. Nothing could take my mind off this anxiety/restlessness/whatever. My mind was/is going EVEN MORE "flat-tack" than normal. It's like something in my body wanted to "go nuts". My mind seemed to be going over EVERY POSSIBLE NEGATIVE related to the days events, trying to find ABSOLUTELY ALL threats possible, all reasons why i should feel guilty, all things i said that i should regret, etc, etc. Although now, with the beer, my mind is starting to "ease-off" a bit, I just couldn't stop it yesterday. I thought i was past all of these problems, but i guess not.
Although i am quite willing to turn to the grog in my times of need (as always), it's far from the ideal solution. Yesterday i really NEEDED something URGENT, like a few shots of hard liquor (which i don't drink nowadays). I had a can of beer, but it didn't work - probably needed to down a few in quick succession.
I'm hoping some of you can shed some light on all of this, so that i can finally eliminate or reduce this problem in my life.
Talked to sby on phone for a couple hours, then had a visitor (brother/wife). And for the rest of the day i was a NERVOUS WRECK - in my terms "ABSOLUTE STIR-CRAZY BONKERS". And awaking this morning (now), computer still running, lights still on (fell asleep), am still very very nervy or something - so i have started driinking beer, on 2nd can now. And playing some crazy-drowning-out music.
I tried everything i could think of yesterday evening, but absolutely nothing was able to barely touch this state. None of my usual things that relax me worked. Nothing could take my mind off this anxiety/restlessness/whatever. My mind was/is going EVEN MORE "flat-tack" than normal. It's like something in my body wanted to "go nuts". My mind seemed to be going over EVERY POSSIBLE NEGATIVE related to the days events, trying to find ABSOLUTELY ALL threats possible, all reasons why i should feel guilty, all things i said that i should regret, etc, etc. Although now, with the beer, my mind is starting to "ease-off" a bit, I just couldn't stop it yesterday. I thought i was past all of these problems, but i guess not.
Although i am quite willing to turn to the grog in my times of need (as always), it's far from the ideal solution. Yesterday i really NEEDED something URGENT, like a few shots of hard liquor (which i don't drink nowadays). I had a can of beer, but it didn't work - probably needed to down a few in quick succession.
I'm hoping some of you can shed some light on all of this, so that i can finally eliminate or reduce this problem in my life.