paul's rant


Well-known member
hello everybody -- you may have noticed that I haven't been posting much lately (not that you should notice :)). partly this has been due to computer troubles, but mainly, recently I've been very stressed out.
school is very difficult this year -- I am a perfectionist and get lots and lots of homework. it sometimes seems like everything I do revolves around school. I get incredibly nervous if I forget to bring my notebook home and there is a quiz the next day -- even if I already studied. it's becoming a bit compulsive. :?
it just seems like it's a cycle, every week, school starts and things just get worse and worse. I want to tell somebody about my SA but at this age, I'm quite certain that nobody would understand it let alone accept it. I want to tell my parents -- but my mom especially is always complaining how I am so "hard to please" and I "don't like anything." that's not true, I just have a hard time enjoying social school events because I am so nervous all the time. when somebody asks why I don't join something or do a sport, I can't just tell them "it's because of my SA," when people ask me that, I just get extremely nervous -- some people even say I look scared all the time, something which I thought I hid pretty well a couple weeks ago. :x I just feel like everything I do -- with the exception of maybe eating, drinking, and sleeping -- revolves around what will cause me the least anxiety. :|
sorry for being so self-pitying, I just don't feel like I'm making any progress, no matter how hard I try. never give up hope though ;)

so hopefully (not realistically) school will calm down a bit and I'll be able to post more here. I'll never leave this site though -- EVER! -- there are some very, very great people here. :)



Well-known member
Hi Paul , I know ur a total perfectionist, which has its good and bad points right? But Its annoying its kind of running your life for you :( Im glad ur never gonna leave this site, ur so cool xxxx


Well-known member
I have noticed that you havn't been posting.
paul you and i have discussed this and you know what i think - i don't like to push anything onto anyone - i hope that you find it within yourself to tell your parents sometime soon. You are so young and to take steps now to help yourself will hold you in good stead when you become an adult. It doesn't get better all by itself my friend, i tell you that from experience...use your knowledge and wisdom to help yourself NOW - because before you know it you will be an adult and still be suffering. You are so special and could do so much with your life PLEASE I BEG YOU tell your parents and get the help you need now.


Well-known member
I agree with red, your parents can be your best ally in your struggle but they must first be made aware that there is a problem and the nature of it. I would think that if you made them aware of this site as well, it would help them to understand your situation and help you. Good luck in however you choose to go.


Well-known member
paul, everytime you post it makes me hungry! damn it to hell!

I had the same problem in school. I could never really concentrate. I was always soo nervous. that i would do poorly. Or that i would do something wrong. That i'd spend like an hour in the morning in the bathroom trying not to be sick.

And when I would tell my mom about it, she would always say that I'd feel better as soon as I went to school. Boy was she wrong. So i know what your feeling. But at your age I had no idea what the hell it was. Or where I could get help or people to talk to. So i'd try to talk to as many people as i can. They might not understand. But you'll feel better getting it off your chest. And maybe for some odd reason they just might believe you.