Part of why I feel awkward

[Day_Tripper]

I realize there's a disconnect between my thoughts and my words. Once I think something, and then I start talking, or even think about talking, I lose my train of thought and my mind has to start all over again. I guess that's why I talk in such short direct ideas. I could never orchestrate an entire speech in my head, or tell a story knowing what I'm going to say next, or how I should say it.

Anyone know if there's a name for this?

 

[zootdroop]

There's probably some name for it.
I don't have a problem with thinking of things, I can come up with big long ideas and things to say in my head, but when it come to saying them aloud or writing them I can't get my ideas out. I'm horrible at talking to people about things because of it, before and after a conversation I can think of tons of great things to say, but when trying to talk to someone I can't get it out right. It's really frustrating, like writing things in this forum, I always remember something I forgot to write after I post. I could go back and edit my posts a hundred times and still forget something.
Though when I'm really comfortable around someone and know I can say anything to them, I can get things out fine. so it probably has a lot to do with being afraid people won't understand what I'm talking about or think I'm weird or get mad and angry at me and I don't want that, cause I hate confrontations, I'm bad at debates, I just freeze up and roll over.

 

[Day_Tripper]

There's probably some name for it.
I don't have a problem with thinking of things, I can come up with big long ideas and things to say in my head, but when it come to saying them aloud or writing them I can't get my ideas out. I'm horrible at talking to people about things because of it, before and after a conversation I can think of tons of great things to say, but when trying to talk to someone I can't get it out right. It's really frustrating, like writing things in this forum, I always remember something I forgot to write after I post. I could go back and edit my posts a hundred times and still forget something.
Though when I'm really comfortable around someone and know I can say anything to them, I can get things out fine. so it probably has a lot to do with being afraid people won't understand what I'm talking about or think I'm weird or get mad and angry at me and I don't want that, cause I hate confrontations, I'm bad at debates, I just freeze up and roll over.

Yeah, that sounds exactly like me.

 

[theblank]

I don't know if there is a name for it or not, but I experience something like that too. I have difficulty speaking and writing. I'll have an idea in my head...a clear one...a rational one...a good one...but when I start to speak or write it's like I completely forget what I'm trying to say and have to start over mentally to try and figure it out again. What I end up speaking or writing never comes out right and isn't what I originally intended to say. It's very frustrating and I feel so stupid. I listen to other people speak and read other people's words and wonder why I can't express myself without so much difficulty?

Yes, even what I wrote here is a good example. Initially I wanted to tell zootdroop that we are very similar, but...

 

[zootdroop]

I don't know if there is a name for it or not, but I experience something like that too. I have difficulty speaking and writing. I'll have an idea in my head...a clear one...a rational one...a good one...but when I start to speak or write it's like I completely forget what I'm trying to say and have to start over mentally to try and figure it out again. What I end up speaking or writing never comes out right and isn't what I originally intended to say. It's very frustrating and I feel so stupid. I listen to other people speak and read other people's words and wonder why I can't express myself without so much difficulty?

Yes, even what I wrote here is a good example. Initially I wanted to tell zootdroop that we are very similar, but...

I do that almost every time I write something here or anywhere, I end up writing something totally different than what I set out to. As soon as I hit that 'post reply' button I can't think of what I was gonna write usually.

 

[MisterKyle21]

I definitely feel the same way, except I'm too stupid to continue thinking of exactly how I'm going to word what I want to say. I just start talking and end up cutting myself off to reword my phrases. This can happen several times while I'm speaking, and makes everything I say very long and complicated. As a result, nobody listens to what I have to say anymore because they're not prepared for the 10 minute epics about something simple. :lol:

 

[lizzz]

YESSS!!! You have all summed up my problem so well. I was actually just visiting to see if I could find something on this.

I did a psychology degree and I remember this 'attentional' problem, being talked about often - but I'm just looking on the internet and can't find much. It's like your attention is divided between what you are trying to say and imagining what others are thinking of you.

I remember reading that there are attentional techniques that the SA sufferers practiced and benefitted from. I feel things could be almost ok if I could conquer this in particular. I'll report back if I find anything.

Unfortunately, I do realise that the best practice technique is obviously just to practice it for real!! But I can't face it, so I'll still be looking for some contrived-not-real-life version!

 

[nemasket]

I have a similar problem too - I sometimes just blank out completely when I start talking to someone. I can have a million thoughts bouncing around in my head before I say something, but the moment I open my mouth it feels like I can't get one coherent idea out. And then I can't remember my own name.

It must have something to do with just worrying so much that absolutely nothing sounds good enough, and then going into a panic - and I know after years of berating everything I say it has worn me down. I kind of gave up on trying to sound intelligent a few years ago, and hope to come across as at least functional

But strangely, when I'm really comfortable with someone (very rare), the words just flow and I don't worry at all. So I guess it's situational - hard to believe when I'm feeling like an idiot just staring at someone blankly though.

 

[Blueberry]

Yes lizzz I have this problem too. I want to say something but I start to speak and all I can think about is what the other person is thinking about me and then I cannot articulate what I´m trying to say because I´m completely distracted. Instead I end up speaking in short sentences avoiding details. I´ll give one word answers when someone asks me a question and the other person just stares at me waiting for me to say more. Sometimes I wonder if I even make sense and I wonder if the person that I´m talking to thinks I´m a complete moron or something. I eny people who have no problems having lengthy conversations and have no problem stating their point. I always think that when I speak people aren´t listening to me so I´ve come to believe that my opinions don´t matter at all.