jockamo
New member
Hi there, new to forum. First of all let me explain who I am. I am a college graduate and work in a professional field and I feel as if I am pretty intelligent. I was an honors student and always very athletic. I believe in God and come from a good Christian family.
Just wondering if anyone else can relate to this. Well, first off I will say my OCD began about 7 years ago when I was falsely accused of something and arrested then all charges were dropped. The cops where all in on it and they even told me they would try and get the maximum sentence of 5 years. Well, whenever I saw the number 5 I would try and avoid it and think of something else, or would start my thoughts over once I saw the number 5. I would not even push the preset button on my radio that was the number 5. Well, thank God all the charges were dropped, so of course I felt the OCD worked. This was the start of my nightmare. Then, I went through the whole HIV scare, this has been ongoing for the last 6 years, it ruined my marriage and my whole life. I need not explain because almost all OCD sufferers know what I am talking about. I didnt even like using the word know because there is an hiv commercial that says "know hiv" and that word would freak me out. Every time I walked through a door, turned on a sink, washed my hands, anything that involved any sort of action, if I thought of anything hiv related, a famous person who had it, a commercial, anything, I had to do it all over without that thought. This involved walking through doors numerous times. I still think I can get hiv through the oddest ways. However, with my last hiv test being negative and not having sex, I keep telling myself I am negative.
However, OCD wont just go away. I figure it needs to manifest into something else. So now that the hiv scare is gone, I need to worry about something else. So I am now worried someone will again make a false accusation of me.
To top all of this off, everytime I think someone is going to call me they do, everytime I think about a car, I see it. You wont believe when I was worried about hiv, I would see positive sgns, (hiv+) The list goes on and on but trying to keep this short. It really consumes my whole day. This makes the OCD seem logical and worse, because if I see these things and try to erase them from my mind, i.e. not parking next to that car. Another example is that I opened my car door and the first thing I would see is a positive sign, so I would go back in my car and try again til it didn't happen. Let alone all the thoughts that go through your head getting out of the door are enough to start the rituals.
Well, do you think the start was really OCD or considered PTSD, being falsely accused. That really messed my whole life up. Anyways, I am trying to deal with it but this ongoing worry that someone else is going to falsely accuse me is killing me, and this is why I am on here.
Thanks
Just wondering if anyone else can relate to this. Well, first off I will say my OCD began about 7 years ago when I was falsely accused of something and arrested then all charges were dropped. The cops where all in on it and they even told me they would try and get the maximum sentence of 5 years. Well, whenever I saw the number 5 I would try and avoid it and think of something else, or would start my thoughts over once I saw the number 5. I would not even push the preset button on my radio that was the number 5. Well, thank God all the charges were dropped, so of course I felt the OCD worked. This was the start of my nightmare. Then, I went through the whole HIV scare, this has been ongoing for the last 6 years, it ruined my marriage and my whole life. I need not explain because almost all OCD sufferers know what I am talking about. I didnt even like using the word know because there is an hiv commercial that says "know hiv" and that word would freak me out. Every time I walked through a door, turned on a sink, washed my hands, anything that involved any sort of action, if I thought of anything hiv related, a famous person who had it, a commercial, anything, I had to do it all over without that thought. This involved walking through doors numerous times. I still think I can get hiv through the oddest ways. However, with my last hiv test being negative and not having sex, I keep telling myself I am negative.
However, OCD wont just go away. I figure it needs to manifest into something else. So now that the hiv scare is gone, I need to worry about something else. So I am now worried someone will again make a false accusation of me.
To top all of this off, everytime I think someone is going to call me they do, everytime I think about a car, I see it. You wont believe when I was worried about hiv, I would see positive sgns, (hiv+) The list goes on and on but trying to keep this short. It really consumes my whole day. This makes the OCD seem logical and worse, because if I see these things and try to erase them from my mind, i.e. not parking next to that car. Another example is that I opened my car door and the first thing I would see is a positive sign, so I would go back in my car and try again til it didn't happen. Let alone all the thoughts that go through your head getting out of the door are enough to start the rituals.
Well, do you think the start was really OCD or considered PTSD, being falsely accused. That really messed my whole life up. Anyways, I am trying to deal with it but this ongoing worry that someone else is going to falsely accuse me is killing me, and this is why I am on here.
Thanks
