tdgower2
Member
Hi all, I'm 19 and am in my 2nd year at university studying Geography. Most things in my life are going quite well, and hopefully that will stay the same, but every now and again the dreaded panic attacks keep coming back and put me in a sense of depression for days on end.
I statrted having the attacks when i turned 15, i was always quite a worrier and thought everything was going to go wrong. Socially i was quite adept, and i believe i was quite an intelligent pupil, but once i started getting bullied i didn't know how to react. So much so that i remember not going into my form class for months because i was scared that i would get bullied! This was when i was 11 or 12, so it laid the foundations for my future attacks.
The worst thing (or best thing) about the attacks is that over the course of 4 years i have noticed a change in myself, some good some bad. For example before the attacks i was more of a selfish person and didn't care much for others, but now i have become, dare i say it, a nicer person! The bad things i talk of are memory loss and lack of motivation. Both things i had in abundance before the attacks, but now they are really hard to find.
I always hope that my memory and motivation will come back, but so far they haven't. I've heard my teachers call me an under-achiever, and i almost cry thinking what could have been, great job lots of money that sort of thing.
Of course now the best thing to do is focus on the year ahead, and try and get as good a grade as i can. But sometimes the attacks are so bad that i can't think about anything other than the panic attacks. I know they will go after a few days or week but i stll hate them, plus they can crop up at the worst of times.
Anyway, sorry for the overly long post, i'm glad that i got this off my chest and that some people know of my anxiety.
I statrted having the attacks when i turned 15, i was always quite a worrier and thought everything was going to go wrong. Socially i was quite adept, and i believe i was quite an intelligent pupil, but once i started getting bullied i didn't know how to react. So much so that i remember not going into my form class for months because i was scared that i would get bullied! This was when i was 11 or 12, so it laid the foundations for my future attacks.
The worst thing (or best thing) about the attacks is that over the course of 4 years i have noticed a change in myself, some good some bad. For example before the attacks i was more of a selfish person and didn't care much for others, but now i have become, dare i say it, a nicer person! The bad things i talk of are memory loss and lack of motivation. Both things i had in abundance before the attacks, but now they are really hard to find.
I always hope that my memory and motivation will come back, but so far they haven't. I've heard my teachers call me an under-achiever, and i almost cry thinking what could have been, great job lots of money that sort of thing.
Of course now the best thing to do is focus on the year ahead, and try and get as good a grade as i can. But sometimes the attacks are so bad that i can't think about anything other than the panic attacks. I know they will go after a few days or week but i stll hate them, plus they can crop up at the worst of times.
Anyway, sorry for the overly long post, i'm glad that i got this off my chest and that some people know of my anxiety.
