Overwhelming Fear of Loss/Abandonment

[sullyS25]

Hey yall, its been a minute since I've posted on here and I would like some feed back if anyone can identify or has any coping mechanisms with what Im experiencing.

First of all, I have accepted and am happy with the fact that I'm not very talkative in huge groups. I may still feel awkward around a lot of people but I dont beat myself up for it, I accept it and even laugh at myself when I observe my unconscious actions that make me come of as awkward. I am very comfortable in this aspect of my life and I'm grateful for that because I used to beat myself up for it and now I'm comfortable with it.

Where I'm at now though is that I'm starting to form a romantic relationship with a girl and some serious fears are surfacing and if I am not intently present in the moment, they can really mess me up mentally.

This girl is amazing and really likes me and I really like her. We are at a point in our relationship where there is that overwhelming euphoria when we are with each other and all we do is say sweet things to each other. She cares about me and is very receptive when I share with her about my anxiety. She is always saying she will do whatever she can to help me with these fears.

Despite all this, when we are not talking, I always seem to convince myself that she is going to decide she doesn't like me and consequently, stop talking to me. I realize how irrational my thinking is (the scenarios I run through my head are almost laughable) but it still affects me physically. I get that tight feeling in my stomach that is a result of serious anxiety and sometimes it can be paralyzing.

Has anyone else experienced this? If so what do you do when you feel these things and have these thoughts?

 

[kelskellian]

Do u feel like noone could ever love someone like u because u have social phobia? I've been in ur shoes,sometimes we just have to accept the fact that we are lovable,that we can love and be loved...tell her all ur insecurities,tell her all ur fears and if she loves u than shell try to put u at ease

 

[Razzlecherry]

I know exactly what you mean, only it isn't with an intimate relationship as I've never had one. I'll be perfectly fine hanging out with some friends and believe they're genuinely interested in me, but when I'm not around them I always argue with myself whether they do like me or if I'm just a bother.

 

[sullyS25]

Do u feel like noone could ever love someone like u because u have social phobia? I've been in ur shoes,sometimes we just have to accept the fact that we are lovable,that we can love and be loved...tell her all ur insecurities,tell her all ur fears and if she loves u than shell try to put u at ease

No, I dont feel like no one could ever love someone like me because i have social phobia. In fact I think the term social phobia is so limiting and keeps people in the same problems because they use it as an excuse ot to put themselves out there. Why do I think this? because i used to do it.

I have told her all these feelings and she has put my mind at ease every time. I mainly posted this to see if it was common among people like us and to identify.