UnOccupied
Well-known member
Hi all. It's been a LONG time since my last post...at least it feels that way. There are so many reasons why. But the one that sticks out the most is that i graduated college, and landed a job, which takes up a LOT of time. No more college = less SOCIAL anxiety. Job = lots of anxiety, but it's no longer SOCIAL. It's just work related. Maybe i'm just an anxious person, and it comes out in whatever area i am most focused in. But, i am not here to talk about that, i'm here to talk about my journey.
My SA is A LOT less severe. You can't even call it social anxiety anymore. It's more like occasional shyness that goes away very quickly. I'd say just normal human shyness at times, if you could even call it that. I could sit here explaining my journey through SA, but i'll save that for another day, if anyone wants to here it that is. I want to write about my current situation.
So, after graduating college, i got a crappy job. This job paid the bills, but it was TERRIBLE. Well, i ended up getting fired after a month, and i was SO HAPPY and elated for the following month. In my elated time i decided I wanted to go backpacking all over Europe (something i have ALWAYS wanted to do but never had the time).
I had read up on it a lot, and was getting more and more excited about the prospect. Going backpacking would be the perfect thing for me after all! I was reaching the end of my social anxiety, and i knew i needed to do something extreme to fully get over this hurdle. What better than putting my life on the line in another continent!? I planned on going there on barely any money, sleeping on the streets for a while until i landed a job, then sleeping in a hostel, than an apartment if i made it that far. I just wanted to live a crazy life for a year, for ONCE...to live on the edge.
Well, at the same time i was looking for jobs. Three months after being fired, i found a really good job for a big bank. By good, i mean it pays well, and i work with good people. The actual work sucks. Oh, and did i mention i have NO TIME to do anything. And the little time i do have it sucked away by my exhaustion from work. I have NO creativity left in my tank after a long day of work. This hurts ME specifically because i have unique goals.
One of my biggest goals is to help people like you and the former me to get over SA and become normal functioning people of society, and be HAPPY. I have achieved this, and i want you all to as well. I have THOUSANDS of pages of diary entries, started articles, and literature on my journey through SA. I want to so badly to make this into a website and make video blogs about it as well. If the site took off, i wanted to hold seminars where i could speak to people on topics like anxiety and depression, but also on eastern meditation, and self development.
Well, as you can see, this dream has really died. My little time is taken up by being tired, and oh yeah, getting ready for work the next day. Now, a normal person wouldn't care about this. BUT, i suffered through anxiety and depression growing up. I have a sore spot for people suffering. Also, i have a gift for analyzing every detail of personal struggles, and figuring out ways to overcome them. I want more than anything to cultivate this gift, and give it to the rest of the world. So, I have been thinking a lot lately. I decided i wanted to quit my (on the surface) amazing job. My plan is waiting until January, so i can save up a little money. I will then travel and create my long awaited blog.
It is just so hard. Many people would do anything to have my job, and here i am thinking about giving it up. Totally dropping it. I just feel so strongly that i could not only help people if i made a website. But, i can make enough money to support myself at some point. I CAN'T do it with work at the same time.
Please share your thoughts and input.
Thanks!
My SA is A LOT less severe. You can't even call it social anxiety anymore. It's more like occasional shyness that goes away very quickly. I'd say just normal human shyness at times, if you could even call it that. I could sit here explaining my journey through SA, but i'll save that for another day, if anyone wants to here it that is. I want to write about my current situation.
So, after graduating college, i got a crappy job. This job paid the bills, but it was TERRIBLE. Well, i ended up getting fired after a month, and i was SO HAPPY and elated for the following month. In my elated time i decided I wanted to go backpacking all over Europe (something i have ALWAYS wanted to do but never had the time).
I had read up on it a lot, and was getting more and more excited about the prospect. Going backpacking would be the perfect thing for me after all! I was reaching the end of my social anxiety, and i knew i needed to do something extreme to fully get over this hurdle. What better than putting my life on the line in another continent!? I planned on going there on barely any money, sleeping on the streets for a while until i landed a job, then sleeping in a hostel, than an apartment if i made it that far. I just wanted to live a crazy life for a year, for ONCE...to live on the edge.
Well, at the same time i was looking for jobs. Three months after being fired, i found a really good job for a big bank. By good, i mean it pays well, and i work with good people. The actual work sucks. Oh, and did i mention i have NO TIME to do anything. And the little time i do have it sucked away by my exhaustion from work. I have NO creativity left in my tank after a long day of work. This hurts ME specifically because i have unique goals.
One of my biggest goals is to help people like you and the former me to get over SA and become normal functioning people of society, and be HAPPY. I have achieved this, and i want you all to as well. I have THOUSANDS of pages of diary entries, started articles, and literature on my journey through SA. I want to so badly to make this into a website and make video blogs about it as well. If the site took off, i wanted to hold seminars where i could speak to people on topics like anxiety and depression, but also on eastern meditation, and self development.
Well, as you can see, this dream has really died. My little time is taken up by being tired, and oh yeah, getting ready for work the next day. Now, a normal person wouldn't care about this. BUT, i suffered through anxiety and depression growing up. I have a sore spot for people suffering. Also, i have a gift for analyzing every detail of personal struggles, and figuring out ways to overcome them. I want more than anything to cultivate this gift, and give it to the rest of the world. So, I have been thinking a lot lately. I decided i wanted to quit my (on the surface) amazing job. My plan is waiting until January, so i can save up a little money. I will then travel and create my long awaited blog.
It is just so hard. Many people would do anything to have my job, and here i am thinking about giving it up. Totally dropping it. I just feel so strongly that i could not only help people if i made a website. But, i can make enough money to support myself at some point. I CAN'T do it with work at the same time.
Please share your thoughts and input.
Thanks!
