Over-talkative friend

EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
I have one acquaintanceish friend who I rarely hang out with, sometimes because of my SA/AvPD but mainly because he is very nervous around me because he "likes" me or whatnot, and he does not stop talking. I'm not a talkative type, I'm the type that would rather hang out with a tree and be in solitude except for a word here and there. I don't think constant speech is necessary when sharing experiences. Anyways this friend is a really nice person but I am tired so easily by his constant talking, eventually I just top replying because it's hard to keep up. He's very sensitive so I can't tell him to stop talking lol... so how do I clue him in, because I don't want to push him away just because of this, and I know he's normally not like that because I've seen him with other people. (He knows that i'm a lesbian so it's not like he's planning a move)
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
EscapeArtist said:
I have one acquaintanceish friend who I rarely hang out with, sometimes because of my SA/AvPD but mainly because he is very nervous around me because he "likes" me or whatnot, and he does not stop talking. I'm not a talkative type, I'm the type that would rather hang out with a tree and be in solitude except for a word here and there. I don't think constant speech is necessary when sharing experiences. Anyways this friend is a really nice person but I am tired so easily by his constant talking, eventually I just top replying because it's hard to keep up. He's very sensitive so I can't tell him to stop talking lol... so how do I clue him in, because I don't want to push him away just because of this, and I know he's normally not like that because I've seen him with other people. (He knows that i'm a lesbian so it's not like he's planning a move)
Click to expand...

Zone out and throw him the occasional nod. That way everybody wins :D

edit: just relized you were a girl. lol, I guess your avatar thew me off.
 
B

bluesavannah

Member
see your preception of your friend is exactly why I hate to leave my house. I talk SO MUCH when I meet people because i'm anxious and nervous and I want to appear friendly and not the reject I feel inside. I overcompensate.
Perhaps your friends is like me and he knows this but can't stop. Usually after I feel secure with someone I calm down BUT if I feel like I am really annoying to a person my talking manifests itself. It could be that he senses you are tired out hearing him but instead of taking the clue and toning it down he does the opposite, like I do.
Its kind of like a tic, you just can't make it stop.
 
G

greenwind

Member
Try nudging the conversation in a more paced relaxed state, it can be that he's not aware that he's constantly talking or he's doing it to avoid awkward silences which he would feel bad with or he thinks that you would feel bad with.

I know it probably gets tiresome constantly hearing what he has to say, but maybe he's just trying to be a good friend and talk to you (albeit excessively).

If you're close enough to him you could always say to him 'heh, you talk too much', but in a friendly casual almost jokingly way. It won't hurt his feelings if you say it that way and you might have made him aware of the fact.
 
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